Fatherless...

     It is a most difficult thing, fatherhood. Until you experience it, and become one, you have no idea how you will react or what emotion you will show, with that mini version of you staring back into your eyes. I must say that my experience with my own dad was one of respect and honor, but also acceptance and the unconditional idea that he loved me for who I was. I admit that verbally saying that he loved me was not his strength, I rarely remember him saying anything of the kind. But, he showed us every day in the way that he loved our mother, and took care of things that mattered. We knew that he loved us by his actions and his dedication to our family.
     In all my years of listening to sermon after sermon, I have heard countless references to God as our heavenly Father. To me that was great, because my real dad had always held up his end of our life together. He wasn't abusive to any of us, he always provided for our needs, and he never quit doing that until the day that he died. But what about those whose fathers here on earth aren't so credible. What happens when your earthly dad, the one who beats up on your mom, comes home drunk from work, or doesn't come home at all, is the man that you love to hate? How do you ever see God as your loving and good father in heaven when you only know pain or disappointment from your own? I sometimes imagine that it might be easier never to have known your father, than to have lived through the horror of an abusive or unloving one. I really can't say that for sure not having lived that path, but I would struggle the same as some of you if I were in the same position.
  So we come to a question that is a difficult one, and one that I can only speculate on; but I lean not on my own understanding or experiences, but on something far more trustworthy and steadfast, the love and forgiveness of Jesus our Lord. You see, I could expound to you a whole list of Bible quotes and psychological language taken from the latest medical reports, noting the steps you need to take to get beyond the upbringing and disappointment of your past; but one, I wouldn't have the first clue what those reports meant, and two, words don't tend to heal anything without faith. We come back to faith a lot when we talk about grace and forgiveness. The faith that God has it all under control, and knows exactly what is going on. The faith to forgive others for things that they have done to us, because God tells us too. Faith enough to except that those things which we can't control, have meaning and purpose, sometimes only known to God. Grace is what we accept from Him to fill the gaps left by our failures, and hopefully, what we grant to others that fail around us. This doesn't mean that we accept failure as justified behavior, mistakes have consequences, but grace says that we forgive you; know in your heart that God loves the failed, just not the failure.
     If you haven't had that father figure in your life that can support you and love you through your mistakes and your victories, then I have great news for you, that is exactly what God desires from your relationship with Him. His chance to prove to you that  He cares for you, and has great faith in your talents and abilities. He knows your needs and your limits. He cheers for your successes and weeps with your pain. Doesn't that sound like the kind of dad you would want? I am sure that there are many of you that still cannot wrap their thoughts around what that would be like. Whether you have a great dad that has been there for you in life or not; or you have simply lost faith that a Being that created the universe could ever care for you enough to value your attention, I tell you that Jesus came to prove once and for all that God wants each one of us to know the depth of His love. There is no other explanation for His dedication to heal and help those that He met. To sit down and eat dinner and visit the hated. To subject Himself to ridicule and death for the sake of teaching us to love one another.
  Those of us that believe in Him, and think of Him as friend and savior, are called to mirror His teachings. To show the love and grace that He lived out every day. It's a sad fact to me that we fail so much at this one ideal and commandment. I suspect that we all know the disappointment of being treated in an unloving manor by people that we thought were different, Christians especially. We need to realize that we all are those same people, failed humans. Compassion and a loving spirit have not been my strong suit for most of my life. More than a few times I have been embarrassed when friends refer to me as the 'angry' man. We all have the ability to give off a perception through our actions. What we need to examine is what kind of perception do you want to be known about you. No matter your level of success or achievement, none of us look good when compared to Jesus' life. Every once in a while, if I put Him in the right place in my life, my mirror shows Jesus to someone, and that is a good day. What if we could find a way to do that more often? What would that take to accomplish that personally, or as a church body? Years of going to church and volunteering? No. Becoming that church leader that isn't afraid to speak up when you know the other person is wrong? No, not at all. Judging others and doing good works are not the answer. I believe that it takes a willingness to open yourself up to the softening of your own spirit, to cheer for others, instead of seeking the lime light for yourself, and helping people even when they don't think that they need it.
It comes down to a decision to live differently. Not 100% perfect, I just don't believe that we can really do that. Rather, changing one piece of your attitude at a time. We learn to do many things in life by starting small and working our way up to proficiency. Why would learning to love like God be any different. If we could only change our outlook 10% of the time, wouldn't that make a major change in how people perceived us? The tragedy of those whose father figure has left them without real knowledge of what family compassion is like, might be offset and partially healed if those around them really mirrored the love and graceful attitude of Christ. A forgiveness that doesn't care where the other person has been, or what they have been up to, but freely loves on them without regard for outward failures and obvious deformities.
The attitude of many that have struggled through the abuse of a childhood without love or compassion is one desperate for genuine acceptance; Real people, who live life wearing the rags of personal torment or disease, knowing that they look just like everyone else in the sight of God. That is the ragamuffin truth in life, that none of us are worthy to judge others based on our own perfection or success, many of us are worn and tired, and in no condition to brag or show off, nor should we. I am now fatherless here on this earth, my dad passed some years ago, but his life still influences my thinking and my heart. He taught me life lessons by living them with me, letting me experience them on my own, but never leaving me to feel alone. If we could be that kind of influence on those around us, how many lives could realize the love of a real father, a real family, through our actions. We are all on our own through this battlefield journey, we alone choose our directions and our attitudes to bear, but as sure as the sun rises each day, we are never alone in the devastation of this life. There is One who stands at your side each day and every night, unwilling to leave you just in case you call His name. In Psalm 68:5  it says that He is the Father to the orphaned, the knight in shining armor to the widow, and in His house He makes homes for the homeless. To each of us He brings hope and unconditional love, fatherless or not His acceptance is there, that's His promise to every one of us.

Psalm 68:5
Randy