Perfect Pitch

A Story of Worship

  Whether it is the off-key voice of the person behind you on Sunday morning, the guitar solo that wasn't so hot, or the muffled sound of the voice from stage singing a song you've never heard before, how do you perceive the noise we call worship? Can you hear the beauty in it's offering, or are you the judge of its ineptitude? Worship has many different styles and even more methods of delivery and presentation. Most people think of music when we talk about worship, with many churches all over the world hiring a guy or gal that we refer to as the worship leader, but do we look at our worship as their job to create and administer the worship time? To manage what is said and done, to direct the church body into a position and realm of worshipful expression. Perhaps for the corporate time together that answer is mostly yes.
  Yet worship is so much more than people getting together to sing songs, whether flashy lights and loud music is your thing, or you pine over the soft and subtle folk sound of acoustic everything, maybe you prefer the realism of no sound system and just enjoy the harmony of voices bringing life back to the hymnal. None of these are wrong, or better than and more pleasing to God than the other. As a former worship leader, and longtime sound engineer, concert producer, and rock singer at heart, I have my tastes for what I like to hear on Saturday night or Sunday morning. But is that all there is to worship? The sights, sounds and endless opinions. I think that we have focused far too much on the style differences and have forgotten, or at least minimized the real purpose and motive of worship.
Worship has a purpose behind it in this world, just as life has been a series of changes and learning experiences, worship isn't something that you master on the first try. Although it's purpose is one of expression, the ultimate reason for it is far beyond this world. As a famous science fiction movie line once said, and I will paraphrase into the realm of worship to make my point, worship surrounds us, it binds us together, it helps us to see through eyes that are not our own. It is the light that we share with one another, an ally when we are alone, and as a little green guy once said, a powerful ally it is. Okay, so enough with the movie thoughts, but they are pretty powerful thoughts when you put them into the real world in which we live. While many of us think that we might enjoy being a movie hero and having special powers, how many of us develop the special powers and gifts promised to us by God through His word? Some of God's gifts would surely seem extra-special if we were to suddenly start healing people with a simple word or touch. Or perhaps healing the emotional issues on the inside that we all seem to suffer through would be an even greater feat. Imagine a church body full of believers that have prayed their way through the hardships of their own ragged lives, a group of people who have learned the full value of grace and forgiveness. People who might even have discovered the destructive power of loveless judgment and conceit, and find no room for it in their group and individual lives. A truly special power that would be.
  Worship without the distractions of failure and doubt, where everyone is valued and the stories of life tell of our undeniable need to ask God to form us into His likeness. Letting the past be the past, and removing the scales from our eyes, the inability to see life and others through the eyes of a loving Father. One who grieves when we are resistant, but One who party's with all of His creation when we come to Him and say, "I need you, I am sorry for making a mess of my life, please take over and guide me in the path that leads me to the heart of your perfect love, help me to hear the voice of that ally which you have sent to be with us. Through your grace and mercy, remake my heart into your heart, and show me the purpose and pathway to true worship". There are many words that you could say and have the same meaning, don't get hung up on the words of your prayer, it is your heart that matters to God. He knows it well, and if you're sincere with Him, the words that you use won't matter.
  Worship to me is far more than a song, or music; it's a state of being. A mindset that we need to use to talk to and visit with God. Before you theologians seek to reprimand me over what biblical purposes are called out for worship; yes, I agree that it is to exalt Him as Lord and as such it is an offering not always a two-way conversation, (at least the Pharisaical friends that I know like to point that out), but I believe if you look at worship as a single directional state of being, then you are missing out on the truly powerful message of the gospel. Jesus was very clear that our relationship with God was a personal one. Not something that could be done by remote or through an intermediary, but through time spent together. Having the knowledge of what each other is thinking and what their plans are. Certainly, we have reverence for God and His position as Lord of lords, over everything earth and sky, but He hugs us through His spirit, comforts us when we're sad, and enjoys every minute that we spend in His presence. As we intertwine our lives with His, we become a bound force, a shared power flows from Him through us, changing our darkened hearts into beacons of light. And though we have our faults and weaknesses, His light and His grace continue to burn through our messy lives, casting light into our shadows and failures.
  Normal three-dimensional thinking just cannot explain this connection that we have with Him. It is definitely difficult to explain to someone that hasn't at least attempted to experience it for themselves. The wonderful and inexplicable part is that He seeks our hearts to be one with His. For us to find a relationship with Him, through our rags and dirty mess of a life, He doesn't seek to judge that; What He does seek to do is celebrate our homecoming, our release back to Him that which He created, us. Worship is surely not about being a great singer, or fabulous guitar player, those people are fun, and I love to hang out with them and hear them use their gifts for praising God and sometimes just entertaining people. It isn't about how big a church building you have, or whether or not you have moving lights in your service. New songs or old hymns, Leslie organ, or keyboards and strings, let those arguments go. That isn't worshiping. It's about your heart? Are you conversing with God and getting to know His heart, or just judging the surroundings when you go to church. Don't wait for service times to worship, if you do, you're missing out on all of the time you could be spending with Him. Worship is every day, small minutes of your time, saying hello and thank you to Him for your blessings that very moment. Talking to Him during the first half of a walk, then listening to Him for the second half. I know that sounds a lot like prayer, maybe it is. The point I want to make is that worship is a lifestyle, a thought process that will help to bind your heart to God's. Maybe it's a prayer of worship and thankfulness: talking, singing, thinking of beautiful things. I look at those times as worship, agreeing with Him that I appreciate His creation and long to be more like He intended me to be. Worship isn't about having perfect pitch and singing like an angel, worship is about using what you have to enter into a relationship with God so that you can recognize His leading and influence in your life. And truly, what could be better than knowing that you have the ear of God when you call to Him and that He is as close as your breath when you need Him most. Off key or not, with my mouth or my hands, I will keep looking for ways to worship Him until I can do it in person.

Prodigal

        Many times in my own life, I have judged myself. Judged by critical standards and by soft, far too forgiving standards. I have run from authority, and run toward it for shelter after doing something dumb or immature. The one thing that my parents gave me as a gift, without financial cost or my working to earn, was the acceptance that they had for me being me. Not that they looked the other way when I was wrong, they didn't. They usually let me know it when I was doing something of concern to them. Unfortunately that didn't always translate to me making a change or doing what they wanted, there are sure some pitfalls that I could have saved myself from drowning in. But that's life, that's learning, and sometimes, that's painful.

         In our lives there will be paths that we must walk alone. Sometimes they will be hurt, and sometimes we just chose the wrong one. You and I have both done that; we have been on a path toward destruction, one that could have ended up very badly for us. Somewhere, hopefully you made a change, saw a way out, a light at the end of your tunnel. However, perhaps you still live in fear and darkness, I tell you that many days I feel as you do in that dreadfully murky place. The future is easy to obscure, and hope is a fragile thing when life reminds us that we are not in charge. When we put our hope in finances or careers that can disappear quicker than they are earned, we run the risk of opening the doorway to disappointment and losing our real self-worth. Likewise, failing to spend time with family and friends can leave us feeling unloved, and desperate. Or maybe you're not getting along with a spouse, parent or child, what happens to those whom we know if we give up? Is it us that are lost, or those that we disagree with? Have you hurt someone while on this path or been hurt through someone else's choice to walk away or their direct intention to cause you pain?
  Regardless of the source, there is peace and shelter for your heart. There is also a guide to how to deal with those who are lost, or adrift in life's sea of despair. If you are the ship sailing with no direction and no anchor, there is hope and grace for you too. But maybe your asking, why should anyone care? Why do I write to you when I don't know you? And especially, why would God care what happens to a person that has chosen to walk away from the love and warmth of a family or God? 

        While Jesus was in ministry in and around Jerusalem, he often angered the religious leaders of that time by teaching and hanging out with ordinary people, and on occasion eating with that crowd of "sinners". A crowd that the leaders deemed unworthy of such direct contact, if Jesus was indeed who he said that he was, or even just a temple rabbi. They looked at such non-clean people as unimportant and lower class. When Jesus got the chance to tell them why, he said something like this, if you had a flock of animals that were making your living with, and meant everything to the survival of your household, you wouldn't want to lose even one of them. In fact if you did find one missing,  you would leave the other 99 in good care and go to attempt to retrieve the one that was lost. Without a doubt, you would even be happy or celebratory about getting back the one that was lost. His point was this, why wouldn't he be trying to reach out to the lost? More over, why is it not surprising to us, those cast aside by "the religious", that the leadership of the church or local government wasn't happy with him. This meant that they would have to share their power; but more than that, it would have meant that they shared their importance and status with the lowly public. Those motives of judgment aren't old or new to this world, there was self indulgent greed then, and there still is today. But a true shepard, isn't worried about losing power or prominence, it's about finding the lost.
  Now back to you and I, it should be a little more obvious now what kind of attitude that we need to have when it comes to seeking and serving the hurting, the abandoned, and the lost. No matter what stage of despair or regret that you and I find ourselves in, there is grace and hope in the shepard, Jesus. Our torn and raggedy lives are the very thing he seeks to renew. But how do we do that for others when we are ragamuffins ourselves? How will people look at us when we try to help someone else from the heap of our own ruins? Well first of all, get your heart in the right place, make sure that you're not seeking something in return; helping others isn't about the reward, although there will be one. If you seek the reward most of all, your help will be as worthless as an umbrella of mesh in a downpour. If your motives are righteous, that means without greed or self grandiosity, then don't worry about what others think or say. That isn't to say that good council shouldn't be listened to, you should always seek the ear and wisdom of someone that you know and trust to keep you accountable and on task. But the nay-sayers, let them scoff at you for your efforts, you're in good company. Remember that the religious leaders hated Jesus because he sought out the meek and the hurting, no matter if they were the "in" crowd or not.
  If you are like me, long before now you have asked the important question of why. Why do we need to help each other? Why do we need to change at all? Why does God want us to do this seeking for Him, can't He do it? And why Randy, do you write these irritating questions? I'm not sure that I can answer the last one, but the first questions are a little easier. In  John 21: 15-19, Jesus asked John one question, three separate times. He asked John if John loved him. Each time John answered, Jesus replied with feed my sheep, to the immediate irritation of John I might add, it was as if the group of them needed to know the simplicity of the message and the mission. Find those in need, do something about it. Paraphrased here as: Live as a follower of Christ, serve as best you can to find and "feed" the lost, and love one another as brothers and sisters in one big family. It seems to be that middle one that really gives people the most trouble, serving.
       Thinking again of the prodigal story, I am reminded of the father running out to meet his son. His son was dirty, smelled like a barnyard, and hadn't even uttered any words of apology, yet his father met him on the road, with a big hug and kiss. Tell me again how you and I can't have grace and forgiveness because of what we have done in our past. Time after time, Jesus told his disciples to go, feed my sheep, go and make others like yourself. He taught them not to look at the outside, and that sin was sin, call it what it is, forgive the ragged sheep, and bring them home.
        I know that each of us have our idea of what God must think of us. The truth is, in his eyes we are as filthy as any drugged out prostitute, or as unlovable as an abuser of others, but through the sacrifice of His son, and His representation of our lives before the Father, we each become the perfection that is only found through being born again. It's not science or science fiction, it's not something that you show someone in your hand, but it's as real as the sun that warms the daytime. We are all prodigal children. Sometimes we are the sheep needing to be found, and other times we are the ones doing the finding, I think that's all in God's plan. He uses us right where we are, still a little dirty from the barnyard of life. And without a pedigree of whose at the top of the list and whose at the bottom. Read the passage in John 21 again, go ahead, I'll wait. It's one description for all of the lost; I read nothing in there about the really nice award winning sheep getting priority or the ugly, half bald, sheep getting pushed to the back of the line. Just all of us raggedy sheep in this together, and one Father ready to run down the road and meet us at the point when we realize that we can go home to him. Whether you are searching for sheep, walking the prodigal path back towards home, or still feeding the pigs in the slop, never judge others by the way they look on the outside, and don't stop thinking of yourself as a child of the King. He said that he stands at the door of every prodigal heart and knocks, hoping to find each and every one of His lost and hurting raggedy children, a status and mission by the way, which you and I both share.

Luke 15: 6 / John 21: 15-25

Fatherless...

     It is a most difficult thing, fatherhood. Until you experience it, and become one, you have no idea how you will react or what emotion you will show, with that mini version of you staring back into your eyes. I must say that my experience with my own dad was one of respect and honor, but also acceptance and the unconditional idea that he loved me for who I was. I admit that verbally saying that he loved me was not his strength, I rarely remember him saying anything of the kind. But, he showed us every day in the way that he loved our mother, and took care of things that mattered. We knew that he loved us by his actions and his dedication to our family.
     In all my years of listening to sermon after sermon, I have heard countless references to God as our heavenly Father. To me that was great, because my real dad had always held up his end of our life together. He wasn't abusive to any of us, he always provided for our needs, and he never quit doing that until the day that he died. But what about those whose fathers here on earth aren't so credible. What happens when your earthly dad, the one who beats up on your mom, comes home drunk from work, or doesn't come home at all, is the man that you love to hate? How do you ever see God as your loving and good father in heaven when you only know pain or disappointment from your own? I sometimes imagine that it might be easier never to have known your father, than to have lived through the horror of an abusive or unloving one. I really can't say that for sure not having lived that path, but I would struggle the same as some of you if I were in the same position.
  So we come to a question that is a difficult one, and one that I can only speculate on; but I lean not on my own understanding or experiences, but on something far more trustworthy and steadfast, the love and forgiveness of Jesus our Lord. You see, I could expound to you a whole list of Bible quotes and psychological language taken from the latest medical reports, noting the steps you need to take to get beyond the upbringing and disappointment of your past; but one, I wouldn't have the first clue what those reports meant, and two, words don't tend to heal anything without faith. We come back to faith a lot when we talk about grace and forgiveness. The faith that God has it all under control, and knows exactly what is going on. The faith to forgive others for things that they have done to us, because God tells us too. Faith enough to except that those things which we can't control, have meaning and purpose, sometimes only known to God. Grace is what we accept from Him to fill the gaps left by our failures, and hopefully, what we grant to others that fail around us. This doesn't mean that we accept failure as justified behavior, mistakes have consequences, but grace says that we forgive you; know in your heart that God loves the failed, just not the failure.
     If you haven't had that father figure in your life that can support you and love you through your mistakes and your victories, then I have great news for you, that is exactly what God desires from your relationship with Him. His chance to prove to you that  He cares for you, and has great faith in your talents and abilities. He knows your needs and your limits. He cheers for your successes and weeps with your pain. Doesn't that sound like the kind of dad you would want? I am sure that there are many of you that still cannot wrap their thoughts around what that would be like. Whether you have a great dad that has been there for you in life or not; or you have simply lost faith that a Being that created the universe could ever care for you enough to value your attention, I tell you that Jesus came to prove once and for all that God wants each one of us to know the depth of His love. There is no other explanation for His dedication to heal and help those that He met. To sit down and eat dinner and visit the hated. To subject Himself to ridicule and death for the sake of teaching us to love one another.
  Those of us that believe in Him, and think of Him as friend and savior, are called to mirror His teachings. To show the love and grace that He lived out every day. It's a sad fact to me that we fail so much at this one ideal and commandment. I suspect that we all know the disappointment of being treated in an unloving manor by people that we thought were different, Christians especially. We need to realize that we all are those same people, failed humans. Compassion and a loving spirit have not been my strong suit for most of my life. More than a few times I have been embarrassed when friends refer to me as the 'angry' man. We all have the ability to give off a perception through our actions. What we need to examine is what kind of perception do you want to be known about you. No matter your level of success or achievement, none of us look good when compared to Jesus' life. Every once in a while, if I put Him in the right place in my life, my mirror shows Jesus to someone, and that is a good day. What if we could find a way to do that more often? What would that take to accomplish that personally, or as a church body? Years of going to church and volunteering? No. Becoming that church leader that isn't afraid to speak up when you know the other person is wrong? No, not at all. Judging others and doing good works are not the answer. I believe that it takes a willingness to open yourself up to the softening of your own spirit, to cheer for others, instead of seeking the lime light for yourself, and helping people even when they don't think that they need it.
It comes down to a decision to live differently. Not 100% perfect, I just don't believe that we can really do that. Rather, changing one piece of your attitude at a time. We learn to do many things in life by starting small and working our way up to proficiency. Why would learning to love like God be any different. If we could only change our outlook 10% of the time, wouldn't that make a major change in how people perceived us? The tragedy of those whose father figure has left them without real knowledge of what family compassion is like, might be offset and partially healed if those around them really mirrored the love and graceful attitude of Christ. A forgiveness that doesn't care where the other person has been, or what they have been up to, but freely loves on them without regard for outward failures and obvious deformities.
The attitude of many that have struggled through the abuse of a childhood without love or compassion is one desperate for genuine acceptance; Real people, who live life wearing the rags of personal torment or disease, knowing that they look just like everyone else in the sight of God. That is the ragamuffin truth in life, that none of us are worthy to judge others based on our own perfection or success, many of us are worn and tired, and in no condition to brag or show off, nor should we. I am now fatherless here on this earth, my dad passed some years ago, but his life still influences my thinking and my heart. He taught me life lessons by living them with me, letting me experience them on my own, but never leaving me to feel alone. If we could be that kind of influence on those around us, how many lives could realize the love of a real father, a real family, through our actions. We are all on our own through this battlefield journey, we alone choose our directions and our attitudes to bear, but as sure as the sun rises each day, we are never alone in the devastation of this life. There is One who stands at your side each day and every night, unwilling to leave you just in case you call His name. In Psalm 68:5  it says that He is the Father to the orphaned, the knight in shining armor to the widow, and in His house He makes homes for the homeless. To each of us He brings hope and unconditional love, fatherless or not His acceptance is there, that's His promise to every one of us.

Psalm 68:5
Randy

Gloriously Gifted

I could use countless illustrations to compare ordinary people to each other. Colors of hair, skin, or even clothes are all differences that set us apart. However, our similarities far outweigh those differences, bodies of one over-all race, human. For now, I want to compare the makeup of the church body to our human bodies. If you aren't even sure about all of this talk of Jesus, and "being saved", lend me your ear for just a few more moments, what I am about to say isn't just for the churchy people. It's about our importance and self-worth in a world that takes no prisoners when it comes to low self esteem or braggadocios, better-than-thou behavior. Both extremes are dangerous, depressing, and far from your real purpose in life.
Equality and tolerance, we hear these words a lot these days, and more often than not, in a description of how someone is not acting, rather than how they are. Why is it that we, as a race of somewhat intellectually developed beings, can't treat each other with consistent mercy and grace, while respecting our differences? Prepare yourself for a sophisticated and highly controversial proverb, because no one is perfect! I know, disappointing isn't it? The worlds problems cannot really be that simple can they?
When you mix together millions of imperfect people from varying backgrounds, stir in a few different religions, and then separate them in geographic areas that create very opposing societies, you end up with power struggles, greed, enslavement, poverty, class warfare, property disputes. This list is as long as it's peoples heritage. The people of earth are, at their core, very flawed. We want what others have, take what is not ours, devalue our own worth, and shame others for things in their lives more public than our own.
Whether you are a mature Christian and life-long church-going Pharisee supreme, or just a struggling failed human of the doubting and fearful nature like most of us, let me illustrate how we overcome these ingrained tendencies, and why we need each other so much. If you take a look at your own body, a quick inventory will confirm that most of us are born with legs, arms, eyes, ears, a heart, lungs, liver and so on. If you are a great musician, then maybe your hands are very gifted at the keys of a piano, or the bow of a beautiful violin. Perhaps you're a fabulous track star or a football standout, and your legs are your winning quality. As a producer and sound engineer, my ears, and the knowledge of what I am hearing and how to manipulate sounds, makes my ears valuable to a great sound production.
Now lets take those thoughts and put them into this perspective, are any of those parts more important than the others? I'm sure that in dangerous situations, we would protect our gifted parts, appendages and organs; if you lost an arm, you could still live, but if you lost your liver you would need a replacement to be sure. The loss of a leg or a foot is devastating, but we can learn to live without it. If you lose your stomach or your lungs, your not going to survive without major intervention and replacements. What I am trying to point out here is this, all of these things are part of your body. Some look very important from the outside. Hands that make beautiful music, eyes that see the perfect colors of a landscape. But without the whole body, without your liver, heart, lungs and all of the other vital organs that work to keep you alive in quiet unison with the rest of your body, you not only could not function, you would be dead.
This is exactly how it is in the world of people. Some of us are called to be feet. In other words we go out into the world to do our work, which is sometimes our mission. Some of us are a mouth, we speak or teach about our passion. There are hands and arms to make music and learn skills, to do the things that need a personal and integrated touch. But then there are the people that are the heart; they supply the fire and passion to go and to build. The lungs, people that help us breath in the beauty all around us, that keep us human by taking the time to extract the oxygen of life into our system. All of us have a combined and purposeful life that is integrated with the lives of those around us. Knowing this, it is really ridiculous to think about how some people act, thinking of themselves as superior to those around them in some way, whether it's race, gender, or brains. Can a foot see the beauty of a sunset? Wouldn't the eyes do that job better? And a hand cannot convert your food into energy as your stomach and systems do.
Unfortunately, most of the world doesn't think that they need anyone beside themselves. The selfish nature of imperfect people is a hard habit to break. But even more disappointing is that our churches have invited in a model of judgement, one that says this kind of person is more valuable as a member than that kind of person. Or they elevate the gift of one person as more "mature in God" than another. I don't intend to argue which gifts are more valuable than others with you, besides, the non-Christians might still be reading along. All of us should look again at 1st Corinthians 12, and then ask ourselves if we still need to argue about this question at all. In this chapter, we find the author explaining where  gifts come from and who is behind the decision to give what to whom. Verse 4 explains that His varying gifts are handed out all over, but they all originate from God's spirit. God's ministries and displays of power are in obvious action around us every day, but God Himself is behind every single one. Each of us is given a tool or something to do, that shows others who God is. All of us, in amazing variety, is handed something by the spirit of God, to some it's wise counsel or clarity to understand life's issues. To others he hands the ability to heal the sick, or perform miracles, or perhaps just be a good listener, and a trusting ear. Still there are those who are gifted to proclaim God's messages, call out spirits, speak in tongues, and those that interpret those things as well. All of these are from God, but are gifted to us individually, by His will, so that we can use them to gloriously bring praise and acknowledgement to Him. If that is a little too religious sounding for you. it means that God grants us these individual gifts not to make us look good, but to serve others. Serve. The idea isn't to categorize them and decide which ones are better than others. No. It's pretty simple if you will check your ego at the door.
The gift God grants to you isn't about you. It's about making you something more than you were before you asked Him to help you grow, and change into a person more like Him. As ragamuffins, we have nothing that He could want when it comes to talents or things. What He wants is your willingness. Willingness to show others grace and love. Willingness to share your gift of leadership or healing. He wants to set you apart from who you were without Him.
Certainly I write to you not as a scholar or a PhD, not even a preaching pastor with a sizable church to prove my important status. But I write to us both, because God has called me to do it, and the gift that He has handed out to me asks me to bring others the healing and merciful good news that He knows our imperfections. He knows that you aren't always right, and that you have made some really dumb decisions in your life. You know what, so has everyone else. The hand and the foot have been wrong, just like the lungs, eyes and mouth. Our existence here starts out as one of failure and defeat, but as beggars often do, we have found a safe place to eat and to sleep. A place that gives us rest, and helps us to find footing again.
God knows and expects us to all be different. What a shame when we put others down for not meeting our expectations. He calls us to love every ragamuffin in His creation. Their choices and lifestyles may be different, and honestly, might even be offensive to us in some ways, but real judgement is the Lord's. I don't remember ever reading about God handing out the gift of judgement. But love, grace, forgiveness, respect, and mercy, those actions could change the world around us in profound ways. Every day, in our walk through this life, God asks from us, whom He calls His children, to display that which He has richly blessed us with. Each of us, are His gloriously gifted.

1st Corinthians 12  (Msg)

Now You See It..

       Most famous illusionists have a great way of making things appear and disappear with  flare for the dramatic. The better the illusionist, the more you believe it was some form of supernatural power that was used to make it happen. From Lance Burton and Penn and Teller, to David Copperfield and Criss Angel, some of these master craftsmen can deceive you right in front of your eyes. It's now you see it, and a blink later, now you don’t, gone. I've known a lot of people that were great at being ‘illusionists’ with their life as well. They always seem to have a way of making their problems disappear. You know those people too, I’m sure; they get into situations that are sure trouble for the rest of us. They cheat, lie, steal, rob, and pillage only to get away free and clear on some technicality or oversight. Somehow they make money, or reap fame from their grand and dishonest display of 'magic'.
  As a kid growing up, there were always a few in school, who would be the ones making the noise or throwing something in class. About the time that I thought it looked like a fun adventure, or I just wanted a piece of the action, that’s when the teacher would catch on, and turn around. Guess who always got caught? Just like in sports, when the second guy into the fight is always the one that gets caught and penalized, I was singled out as the perpetrator of all of the monkey-business. The grand illusionist never seem to be the one that got the blame.
  In all of this there are a few lessons to be learned and I wish I had a few years earlier than I did. It seems that I’m a slow learner when it comes to these kinds of life lessons, and I only recently thought about why. Being the youngest of four boys could have had something to do with it, I was always competing for attention. In our house, humor was appreciated perhaps a little more than most. I have no scientific reason to say that, but starting with Dad, we were all cut-ups, and enjoyed making each other laugh. Looking back, I think that fed into my personality and my desire to see people act happy, or maybe really be happy having a laugh.
  Not too long ago, I was saddened by the passing of a great illusionist in the field of comedy. Robin Williams took his own life after years of depression, and addictions. He had discovered that he had a disease that would soon leave him unable to be himself, unable to counter his own sadness by making people laugh with him, and at him. What a terrible suffering it is to value laughter so much, but have so little of it in your own heart. Robin spent his life in the pursuit of making others happy, but never really seemed to find the permanent internal contentment that could reside within his spirit. I hope that through my life’s lessons, and learning from some unfortunate mistakes and poor decisions, that we can find some simple answers together here. The first real truth that stands out to me is that no one else can make you happy. Not a new girlfriend or boyfriend, not having children, not a new job or lots of money; No ladies, not even shopping for shoes. None of these outward things can genuinely and permanently make you happy, especially if you don’t know how to find your own happiness on the inside.
  It always seemed to me that I should automatically know what would make me happy. That it shouldn't be a mystery, but for most of us, I think it is. There are a few people I know that seem to be genuinely happy and whole people. There are certainly many who are trying to fool us all every day. The illusionists of life, wandering through every day like Robin Williams did, looking for a way to change how they feel, by affecting the lives of others. Looking for their own happiness through people and things of popular desire. One sure life lesson I have discovered over the years, people will always disappoint you. Not that all of them try to do it on purpose, there are kind  and caring ones who would never purposely hurt you, but we all fall short, right? In Romans 3:23 it assures us of this fact. All of us fall short of the perfection that is God’s plan for us. Without a pursuit in Him, we cannot trust in anything to be good, true or consistently positive.
  So what does that tell us about finding our inner happiness? Where should we be looking to assure ourselves that we won’t end up depressed and wallowing in self-doubt or regret? Seeking God of course, I told you it was a simple answer. It’s just not a simple task to carry out. I know that we all struggle with the enticement of this world. Things that make us happy for a moment or that take away the bad feelings that come with stress or loss. Those kinds of temporary material answers aren’t truly helping on the inside though are they? It’s like the stage of the illusionist, set to deceive the crowd into believing that what they see is really a feat of supernatural intervention. Just like sleight of hand though, when you realize it’s a trick and not genuine, the magic feeling is not only gone, but you feel worse for having been tricked. The same is true of false happiness, when you seek it in places that aren’t constant and stable, you will be worse than when you started as soon as reality and your real world returns.
  I don’t pretend to say that there is any quick or easy way to solve this life riddle. But there is One who promises us that through His grace, we are forgiven, and through His sacrifice, we can call on God without the fear of failure tied around our neck. We don’t have to put on a good show, or impress others with our fake smiles or success at the cost of our families. There is nothing we can do to earn it, or buy our way in. That’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t know how or want to chance my happiness on my ability to reach some spectacular goal that would “get me in”. It would just end up being another sleight of hand, an illusion; you and I would end up in the same place we started out, faking it.
  The good news that many of us miss about life is that happiness can’t be bought or earned. It can be given though, just not by you and I here on this imperfect world. Start your search over, and this time put your interest and faith in something far more tangent than an illusion. God’s love is proven, it’s perfection, and it can definitely be the answer to what makes us happy on the inside. If we can realize and know that He loves us, and that all that is asked of us is that we live our lives seeking to love Him and serve others as ourselves at the banquet table of His grace and mercy, then I know that piece by piece, our lives will be filled up from the inside out, with a real love that cannot be faked or made to vanish. Illusions in life do not end well, or lead to happiness. Just like those kids you and I knew growing up, those people eventually get found out and exposed for what they are, shallow fakes. In the long run, we all need something real, and constant to be happy. Fill your life from the inside out, with the truth that God has given to you at a great personal cost to Him. Don’t make your path through life a delusion, it’s far too short of a journey to live a lie. Nothing in His plan for you will leave you empty or feeling short-changed. Your life, it’s purpose and your overall happiness, will be far more than an illusion, it will be openly genuine and consistently content. No one is happy all the time, every life has it’s share of sadness and despair, so don’t set yourself up for disappointment by thinking that you can be ‘happy all the day’. We can all know the real and genuine love and grace of being God’s child. His desire is to fill us with joy, real joy, not the illusion of something that we think will make us happy. That’s our choice, having joy on the inside, and being willing to have faith and know that every day, He will continue to give us that inner contentment and peace, again and again. That's real life, without a magic wand.
     Blessing to you all- Randy

Romans 3:23

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Thunder in the Desert - Alternate Ending

    I was reading recently about a man that had been lost in the desert alone for nine days. His ordeal was surely one that I cannot imagine. The thirst from not having water to drink would make anyone desperate and willing to drink just about anything in order to stay alive. In his story, life-saving rain came at just the right moments every few days; just enough to keep him alive, when he was too weak to manage for himself. But hours and days came and went, when there was no rain, no deliverance. I'm sure that he thought the end was near many times; that his story in this world had come to a desolate and lonely conclusion, there in the dry and isolated desert.

    Life can be a series of events that range from your happiest day to being lost in your own desert. Whether it's a desert of failure, in school or work, or one of financial ruin. Perhaps, the cruelty of human weakness in the form of illness has come to you, or you can't control an addiction that seems to weigh over you like a massive boulder quarried from shame and self-loathing. Our personal deserts of depression or despair, often come into our lives without warning, and can leave us wondering where God is when we obviously need Him the most.

    Imagine yourself in the midst of a quiet, starlit night. Your surroundings are dark, blurred forms and it’s hard to see far from where you are. Your eyes strain to make out definition and shape. It's a dry and lifeless place. What little light there is from the stars is intermittently blocked out by clouds which have no color, only darker shades of grey to black, and in the distance you see the faint flashes of lightning at the horizon. After days in the heat of your dry existence, you long for drops of rain to touch your burned and aching skin, to wet the tip of your tongue if only to cool it for a while. Not only is this the image of a desperate person in a dangerous physical place, but I think it also describes our lives in those times when we find ourselves in our darkest, driest moments. Those times when our spiritual tongues and lips are dried and cracking from the lack of living water.

    (*) When we've gone as far as we can emotionally go, and we are desperate for the relief of compassion, grace, and forgiveness by the understanding of what it is we are going through. This is the training ground that God uses to help us relate to each other, and to give us insight for what others are going through. It’s not to say that you cannot have compassion without experiencing the same tragedies, but our own trials teach us wisdom, either through success or defeat. On occasion, we all learn through failure, what not to do; what it is like to lose a job, have a life-threatening illness, or not be able to pay your bills. Our ability to help others is vastly improved through our own journey’s path. With our experiences and lessons in life, we may be someone else's flashes of lightning, or promise of rain.

When we come out of our desert, we are usually thankful to be rescued, happy and relieved to be back on our feet. When that happens, don’t forget your calling. We are all witnesses of what God has done for us. To be that voice in the wilderness that gives hope when others are lost and thirsty. To tell our story, and relate to a hurting friend or possibly a complete stranger, that there is hope for them right where they are. In John 1: 19-23, the people of Jerusalem asked John who he was, they were perplexed by his teaching and thought he could be a prophet or someone even greater, but John just kept on preaching.. He was a very loud and boisterous personality as we know him. You may not be an outspoken beacon of teaching like John, which is okay. John told them that he was thunder in the desert, that he prepared a way for the coming Messiah. And that is our job as well.

What does it mean to “make a way” when John is responding to the crowd? I believe it means that he was sharing his own experiences and trials with them. That through his life’s up and many downs, he was shining a light on how grace and forgiveness had been poured out on him. I’m sure that with his reported temperament, that he did it in a way that was on fire for the scriptures and prophecies of the Jewish people. With a loud and direct manner about him, he was certainly hard to miss for the theocrats of the day. We each “make a way” using the skills and talents that we are gifted with. Some people write songs, words, and music that inspire emotion and reach out to people in ways that John possibly never could have. There are storytellers, managing leaders, children's workers, greeters at your church, and servers at your favorite restaurant. An almost endless list comes to mind of calling styles that serve as conduits for making the way of the Lord.

While in our desert we learn how to trust God for our next drink of water, our food, and our very lives. Once out of the desert, we can share the hope of being rescued with others that are still in their isolation. But during all of those times, we are called to be God's messengers. We are responsible to share the good news whether we are in times of tragedy, experiencing joy and happiness, or not really sure where we are; God is not a far away ethereal being, only reachable through highly religious and specific rituals of the chosen few. Absolutely not. He is walking the path with you, beside every step. You cannot lose Him or get hidden from His sight. And a simple and soft whisper of His name is all the further you will need to go before He answers. No, He does not reserve His attention and love only for the “worthy”; if that were the case, none of us would ever know of it. It is a gift, as between friends, without strings or entanglements, He gives to every single one of us, the friendly, the mean, the saintly, and the criminal. For all.

The question is, how will you make His way known through your life? He has walked through your desert with you, given you water when you were dry, laughed when you were happy, and cried when you were hurting. Our call to be His messengers isn’t necessarily a call to become a ‘John of the Wilderness’. Your calling may be with your friends and family, to change the destructive course that your parents or grandparents chose. Perhaps you are a teacher or work with children, and maybe you can’t openly share about what God has done in your past, but you can show them through your attitude, the difference you have in your life. Trust me, looking back I can tell you I knew when a teacher or mentor was a Godly person. They were different. Maybe I didn’t realize it at that moment in time, but it made an impact that I always remembered, and admired. You may be a doctor that gives hope and at the same time honors God when something beyond your ability goes right. The truth is that no matter where you are, no matter what you do, God has called you to be his messenger. Pastors are not the only ones called to reach out and minister to people, we all are. Through the way you live your life, and love those around you, the life that you present to others will get their attention. Just as John’s life raised the questions of the leaders in Jerusalem, and compelled them to search him out and ask him what was so different about him and who was he, those around you will notice that you are different than most people that they know. Be diligent. Be ready. Live the best life that you can to acknowledge that you are blessed by God, that He walks with you, and that no matter what isolation or worry comes to you and your world, you will be His voice of thunder in the desert.

Blessings - Randy

John 1:19-23 (msg)

(*) - The following content is an alternate conclusion that differs completely from my previous message entitled, "Thunder in the Desert". 

The Thief

When Christ was on the cross, there were two men on either side of Him, one accepted Him, knowing that he himself was a sinner and that he needed to ask for forgiveness. The other was a hardened criminal, with an even harder heart. He didn't show remorse for his deeds, and he certainly seemed to make it clear that he didn’t need Jesus to "save" him. He rejected his last opportunity to make his life right before a forgiving God.

If you think about it, these two men represent a lot of us, on either side of the struggle between good and evil. One side seeks forgiveness and a change within ourselves and our motives; the other side is self-serving, mocking all that is good and seeking only the pleasures of life without the responsibilities.

I can imagine these two men might have started out life much the same. Two little boys with dreams of becoming someone great when they grew up. But somewhere along the way, one learned about respect, and honor before your family. The value of good actions and outcomes. The other little boy learned that if he wanted something bad enough, he could just take it. He needed to be tough. He would steal or cheat his way to what he wanted regardless of it being deserved or earned. No one else's feelings or needs outweighed his own. Although they both ended up on a cross as scorned and convicted thieves, there was a difference in their final hours. I believe somewhere in the one man's life, he was blessed with a caring person, maybe a mom or a dad, or a sibling that continued to tell him about the good that they saw in him. That he could be more than he was allowing himself to be. I am sure that by the time Jesus saw him on that cross next to Him, this man was remembering all of the times that someone had told him, “You are more than a thief, more than a bad, uncaring person”. And Jesus saw it too.

If we can open up our own hearts and minds for a minute, and truthfully analyze our own motives, which of the thieves would we be? It’s a sure thing that we are all selfish in our own way. That we all deserve punishment for being disobedient servants. Yes, we represent both of the thieves that died that day. We are the rebels, the ones that don’t want to admit that we are wrong. The failed mothers and fathers. We are the children that have made poor choices and ended up with consequences that we never believed would be ours to bear. The ones that say, “God cannot love me now, I am the one that nailed Him there.” “I deserve everything I get”. And we’d be correct to say that. On our own, without the forgiving grace of Jesus, we don’t deserve saving, and we certainly don’t deserve a heavenly promise of beautiful streets of gold and everlasting happiness.

I am so thankful that the second thief took his last minutes here on this earth to allow God to teach us a lesson through his words from the cross. In his last moments, he was willing to be used as a teaching vessel for thousands who came after him, including you and me. This thief looked at Jesus and said, remember me when you get to your kingdom.

Whispers

          We have all experienced the piercing sharpness of a word spoken with the intent to hurt us. There do seem to be those out there that live for the opportunities to judge others, or to spread rumors, whether true or not. The friends we choose in life have access to our trust and the truth that we sometimes do not want to be made public. You don't have to have a deep dark secret of monumental proportions to appreciate the idea that some things are private, and others are hurtful.

          The real question is why? Why do people take pleasure in filling the crowd full of lies or hurtful truths whose only purpose is to be destructive. Why do friends let us down and sell out our trust in them? Why do people we sometimes know and love whisper untruths and slander us to the world? It really is hard to say what the motivation or satisfaction is that comes from these acts. Of course we all make mistakes and say things we shouldn't from time to time, we slip at the wrong moment and divulge something that should have stayed in our heart, but that isn't what I am talking about here. The sin of this world is most evident when we as humans decide to be selfish, or seek power and fame at the expense of others. We use what we know, or what we think others might believe, to manipulate the character and reputation of someone else. Gossip is such a powerful weapon, and a devastatingly cruel means to an end.

          In Psalms 41: 4-7 David cries out to God to help him. David needs God's grace, and though he has made his life into ruins through mistakes and wild, selfish living, David asks God to put it back together again. All the while his enemies are plotting against him, gossiping about him and creating even worse stories to tell than David himself has actually done. The "friends" that are near him and speak to him, come with disingenuous platitudes, and don't mean anything that they say or do for him. They are only there to spy on him and gather more useful things to twist into their stories; or to make sure that they are seen as loyal just in case it helps them to attain their goals and objectives. No one really cares for David, but for God.

           The exception here is a true friend, someone who is there for you, no matter what you're going through. I assure you that these gracious people do exist. When you find one, it is a friendship to cherish. But we must be aware that the ways in which we live, and those whom we associate with, are directly connected with what type of people that we meet. You cannot hope to meet genuine and caring friends if you constantly hang out with people that are abusive in some way, lie to others, "but not to you", or have little sense of right from wrong. Notice very carefully here that I did not list specific places where these types of people might exist.. That's because where you tend to hang out is no guarantee of what type of people that you'll meet. Some people might think a bar will only introduce you to bad, unscrupulous types, but believe me when I tell you, there are just as many liars, cheats, and dishonest people in your local church, as there are at any bar or club. No matter what you have done, or where you have been in life, you've met good and bad people. Those who gossiped about you, and those who treated you like their own family.

          The real question then isn't why people act like this, or why you've been betrayed by a friend or loved one, but more importantly, what you did in response to it? I know that my first thought is to find a way to enact revenge. To get "even" with those who have hurt me or my family. It would have been very easy for David to carry out punishment for those acting against him. His guards could have publicly sought them out for execution, or imprisonment. He could have called his army to defeat a rival and take their land, or quietly poisoned the family of the offending party. But in Psalms 41 it doesn't say anything like that does it? It starts out saying that we should respect those down on their luck and poor, that in doing so, you will feel good about yourself. Even more than that though, when people plot against you, and scheme how to hurt you or slander your name, the best answer is to ignore them and concentrate on how to be a better you. In the case of David, he asks God to help him rise above his enemies. Not in might, but in deeds. That he would flourish in spite of their rumors and false accounts. In this way, David's enemies may have seen a broken and weak man at first, but through his faith and desire to have integrity and honor in his life, they eventually saw a strong and valiant leader; one protected from his foes in battle by a charitable and forgiving God. In fact, that is what God does when He looks at us. He has every right to ignore us, to walk by us as beggars, even enemies, stranded on the road of poverty and hatred. God sets the example for David, and for us. He reaches out to us through mercy and grace, and seeks to find the good in us, and spend time with us. He offered His very life to prove that He was genuine, and nothing short of us telling Him to go away, would ever separate us from his love and attention.

          Though you may never know the motive for others that attack you, or bring false accusations against you to make you look the fool or guilty, you can decide to seek the best in them. The example we are given is to believe in the part of each other that is giving and compassionate. Knowing that some will hurt you, and some will mock you for being naive or clueless, you will have a power over them and a confidence born from the assurance that you look to them as God has looked at all of us throughout the ages; as poor, dirty, and unworthy people, in search of forgiveness and a genuinely forgiving spirit.

          When people talk about you and convict you in the court of public opinion, remember that you are in good company. David spoke of his accusers in Psalms. Moses felt the sting of ungrateful friends and followers, though he continued to follow God's leading, they questioned him and his judgement, even to the point of publicly humiliating him by proposing to go back to Egypt. Jesus was scorned by many "religious" leaders of the day. They were popular leaders in their towns and churches I'm sure. But because Jesus represented something different, or new, they conspired to lie about Him, to accuse Him unfairly, and eventually murdered Him. You cannot predict or control the actions or idle thoughts of others, but you can decide how to respond to it. You can make a difference to the ones closest to you by proving that you believe God's promise to never leave you alone or without His love and mercy. That He will hold you together in any situation of chaos. You can show the people that you work with that you are different through the way that you live your life. Your courage and ethical lifestyle, living in contrast to the world's values that say, "its okay as long as you don't get caught". These are the virtues and promises that protect us from the whispers of the world. Those that lie about us, cheat to win over us, and accuse us, even though the God of the universe has set us free from the guilt of our mistakes. Though you may not yet know how, you can silence them, one day at a time. Living under God's mercy and by His example; loving others, protecting the innocent, and walking through every day as though He was right there, step for step, following along with your life. God does care enough to hear your faintest prayer, and to tolerate when you need to yell, and question why. Why others seem to rejoice in causing you pain, or wish bad things upon you and your life. Bad things done in the secret of silence or the low tones of false friendships are very painful. But just as they can be destructive, God takes the soft and quiet disjointed pieces of our personal destruction and whispers hope and acceptance to our heart; that He loves us just as we are, and in that moment turns what others meant for loss and personal ruin, into our full and successful measure of grace and renewal..

Psalm 41 (msg)

Thunder in the Desert

          Recently, I was reading about a man that had been lost alone in the desert for nine days. His ordeal was surely one that I cannot imagine. The thirst from not having water would make one desperate enough to drink just about anything in order to stay alive. In his story, life saving rain came at just the right moments to keep him alive, when he was too weak to manage for himself. But there were days that came and went, when no rain fell. I'm sure he thought that the end was near many times; that his life's story in this world had come to an end, there in the California desert.
          One of the dictionary's definitions of desert is, 'any place lacking in something'. It sounds so unassuming, yet a place where any and all organisms struggle to survive is not a place to be. Life can be a series of events that range from your happiest day, to being lost in your own desert. Whether it's a desert of failure in school or work, or one of financial ruin. Perhaps the cruelty of human weakness through disease has come to you, or you can't control an addiction that seems to weigh over you like a massive boulder quarried from shame and self-loathing. Each time you see an end to your circumstances and pain, it turns out to be a mirage of lifeless vapor.
          Imagine yourself in the quiet, starlit night of a dry and lifeless place. The sky is intermittent with clouds, and in the distance, you see the faint flashes of lightning at the horizon. The delusion of hope grips your heart again. Days into your ordeal, you are ready to move toward the promise and find out, for certain, if the rain is real or not. After a seemingly eternity of thirst and heat, you long for the drops of wet redemption to touch your burned and aching skin, to wet the tip of your tongue if only to cool it for a while. This is the image of not only a desperate person in a dangerous physical place, but it also describes our lives in those times when we find ourselves in our darkest, driest moments. Those times when our spiritual tongues are dried and cracking from the lack of living water. When we've lost our direction or misplaced our purpose. We wander in our search for what makes us happy, or fulfilled, and yet rarely discover the answer on our own. The desert can be a place of great peril, and even death. So it is spiritually. If we stay in the desolation of a purposeless life, we will eventually die to the ways of good, mercy and hope. The desert will consume us.
          Unlike the man in my story, we do not have to wait and hope that the thunder will bring us spiritual rain. In John 1:19-23, God calls us to be His prelude. To announce that He is coming to a world of desolation and drought with the healing everlasting water. In John 4: 13-14 Jesus tells the woman that His water will forever quench our soul's thirst. In a few short chapters, John tells us that as we wander in our desert we should keep telling others about what God has done in our lives. Even when we are thirsty ourselves, dry and parched, we should point the way to His living water. In fact, I think that we are the most useful to God, when we've come through our own solitary wasteland. When we have seen and felt the sorrow of loosing a loved one, we are ready and trained to help those in need. To come through a life crisis such as the failure of a business, or betrayal of a friend, this is our desolation ordeal, and if we put our faith and resolve in the right place, it makes us a very credible voice to others in similar situations. I'm not saying that you have to die to understand what death means, or that unless you have been divorced, you can't know the feeling of abandonment or failure. Some people are gifted with the ability to empathize with those in need. But for most of us, the experience of life circumstances trains us to know when others truly need our grace and support.
          I believe that the church was called to help fulfill this function, to share with each other's passion and loss, in ways that would strengthen one another. Sadly, many times that seems to be the lacking ingredient as the modern church searches for purpose, instead of hearts. But do not give up on your search for genuine lives being lived with passion and those willing to share what they have experienced and learned from their conflicts. We do not come together to judge or count sins, we come together to find strength, and endurance. Find your place of belonging, where God's message is emanating from hearts full of grace and a natural caring for others, living day to day by His unchanging words and promises.
          If we are to have a chance for others to see our lives as a light of credible understanding, the fact that we have lived the same crisis or tragedy is a big first step. We are to be that thunder in the distance, the hope of good things to come. Seeing our survival, our continued resilience under fire, gives others an example of what may be close at hand for them, if they pursue with diligence the path towards the well of the living water. Our desert is not one of complete desolation, even though many times it does feel that way. There are many today on this journey with us, as well as those who came before and will come after, and we all look to each other for that promise. That hope of thunder in the desert.

John 1:19-23 / John 4: 13-14 (msg)

The Traveler

  Just how fast can an idea or news spread around the world these days? It's amazing to know that someone in Africa, Asia, the United Kingdom, South America and here in my home city, can all be affected by the news and events that are reported on live TV and online reporting. Good news and bad news, they all have a light speed conduit to the people of the world. It's surprising to me to see how many people are connected to each other via the worldwide web. There are televangelists with global capabilities and followings, news channels showing the latest crazy act of violence,sporting events that draw viewers by the millions, and yet the biggest paradigm shift in this world occurred when one man and 12 followers took it upon themselves to spread the message of love and acceptance. You may think that you're just one person in a vast world of information highways and currents events; that your actions won't have a significant impact on people, or change the course of anything with historical importance. You may not be famous or a dignitary, and yet it's easy to forget that the writings or ideas of one person, or the public failure of another, can make headlines worldwide. If it's that easy to impact an audience that's across the continents why is it so hard to spread the good news of the gospel? Do our argumentative and different opinions of what Jesus came here to do keep us from spreading the result of what he really accomplished while he was here?

  Growing up in church, one of the big events that would happen on occasion would be when an evangelist would come to town. They would put on a four or five day church meeting that some people call, camp meetings or revivals. It was kind of an exciting time. You could enjoy hearing a speaker that you really didn't know personally and he or she could get away with saying some things that your regular pastor could not. In today's world of being politically correct, it seems that this entire way of life may be gone forever. No one wants to hurt another's feelings anymore. Regardless of the dangers that our friends and family face due to poor decisions or hazardous lifestyles; no one wants to tell each other that they've been wrong or that they are living in a world of lies and selfishness. A world where the 'new' reality is what you make for yourself. Nothing could go wrong with that idea, right? In the case of the evangelist, it gave them a chance to speak on or about subjects that were sensitive within the regular crowd. They were able to speak to subjects too close to home for the local pastor. Sometimes known as the 'Fire and Brimstone' preachers, they did have a knack for shaking up the regular crowd and making them think about the words that they heard every week.

  I know that occasionally, in my fast moving and over scheduled life, I need to come to a point of reality realism. I need that abrupt stop, look, and listen that going into crisis mode puts us through.  I need to be reminded that, "I'm not all that". That pride and selfishness is a perpetual circle of disappointment. Even with a high self image, some days we also need to be reminded that we are more than we think we are. It's possible that you know the feeling of these emotions when they come over you saying, you're not good enough, or maybe you have feelings that tell you that you're better than everyone else. No matter which direction that you come from when you experience this personally convicting intersection, you need that reality check, you need advice from a person that maybe doesn't know you like a family or friend does. The person who intersects with our life in a way that shows respect, while earning trust. I hope you have a person like this in your life. If not now, then somewhere in you're past. Perhaps at youth camp, there was a special speaker that seemingly created every topic and message like they knew all about you, or a song on the radio that described your emotions or situation almost as if the writer understood right where you were.

  Part of God's message through the cross was to reach out to us in a way that would present the message of grace openly to everyone; not just for the salvation of the Jews, but everyone else as well. Eventually, left without their leader to guide them, the Apostles and the growing number of followers needed a link to God. A part of God that could be with them here on earth, in the solitude of prison and in the pressing of massive crowds, the presence of God was needed and present there. It taught them to seek God in healing and in worship. In the simple sharing of the message, and the desperation of extreme and violent torture, the Traveler was there. The person-hood of God, the very Spirit of His love and nature went with them, experienced  loneliness with them, spoke the thoughts of praise into their minds and hearts. Like time itself, the Traveling Spirit of God, finds a winding path through our lives. It connects with us through guest speakers, a song on the radio, Sunday school teachers, and well timed events in our lives that always seem to be perfectly aligned for the outcome that we couldn't predict. The Traveler knows when you close your eyes to pray, "God, this is my last chance". You may be young and full of wonder about what your life has yet to offer or maturing to that point where you think more about mortality and the next life, either one can be quickly drawn to the reality of needing God. A need of such desperation that your options are limited to one choice. In your searching for truth and peace, the Traveler sent from God knows no boundary. No situation is too serious. No illness beyond comfort.

  The 12 followers that Jesus called His closest friends, the ones that He laughed, loved and lived with, were all put into situations where they needed the guidance, comfort and peace that they had known in their friend Jesus. They found those things in the presence of the Traveler. If we never experienced sadness and need, we might never find the ability to appreciate happiness and favor. The 12 definitely experienced the full range of happiness and excitement, as well as sadness, fear, and despair. Though I am certain that they felt inadequate, worthless, and ashamed, they persevered to become full of grace, and outspoken about the message of a God that came here to earth, just for them. Just for you. Time can be our companion in life, when we use it to walk with conviction, and the knowledge that the Traveler is also here for us, to embolden us, to carry us when we are too weak to go on, to weep when we cry, and laugh when we are happy. My wish for you is that you will seek out this ally, whose mission here in our lives is to give us a sense of Godly presence and a personal experience with His majesty, the crowned and reigning philanthropist of grace.