As young children, from the darkness of our sequester of bedtime, it rises from our racing and fearfully busy minds; from a mere idea to the quiet unheard words slipping through our lips. No answer, we raise our call another level of urgency, a little louder. Again with a cough and a clearing throat, we call out to our parents, "daddy, mommy, can I have a glass of water?" Is it that we are really thirsty, or do we fear the loneliness and dark seclusion? For me, it was one more chance to hear the voice of my mother or father saying, "it's okay, don't be afraid". I always took a drink, waited for another hug, and slipped away peacefully into my dreams. It never seemed too late or too much of a bother, for them to assure me that they were still there, that everything was okay, and that I was safe in their care. There are times in the darkness of my life, and the desperation of the hour, that I call out to God, just like the younger me did for that last cup of water at night. That last chance to know that everything would be alright. Our God hears your prayer, no matter the hour. No matter how desperate.
Fear is something that we feel from a very early stage in our life. It can be severe enough to cripple our sense of adventure and stunt the natural quest for excitement, or it can be just enough to keep us honest and respectful of the power and dangers of life in general. Fear from the unknown can be hard to overcome; then there is just plain being scared. We have all been scared of one thing or another. Failure at school or at work, failure to have courage enough to ask that special someone to dance, failure to be a successful parent or spouse. Fear can keep us from failure, it can also most certainly keep us from trying.
As a young child, we call out to our parents from our bed, "can I have a glass of water?" I know that I did this quite often. So much so that my mom started sending me to bed with a small glass of water, just in case, (something that I continue to this day). I am not so sure that I was really all that thirsty, I was afraid. The fear of the dark, and being alone gripped me beyond my ability to manage with counting sheep. It was the comfort of hearing her voice and seeing her face, that put my fears to rest. Sometimes she would sit there by my bedside, turn off the light, and tell me, "close your eyes and go to sleep, I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of". I can still remember her touching my forehead to comb back my hair, and whispering "goodnight". I seemed to always find rest in that, no matter how fierce the monsters were.
As a young child, we call out to our parents from our bed, "can I have a glass of water?" I know that I did this quite often. So much so that my mom started sending me to bed with a small glass of water, just in case, (something that I continue to this day). I am not so sure that I was really all that thirsty, I was afraid. The fear of the dark, and being alone gripped me beyond my ability to manage with counting sheep. It was the comfort of hearing her voice and seeing her face, that put my fears to rest. Sometimes she would sit there by my bedside, turn off the light, and tell me, "close your eyes and go to sleep, I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of". I can still remember her touching my forehead to comb back my hair, and whispering "goodnight". I seemed to always find rest in that, no matter how fierce the monsters were.
Is it 2 am in your life? Does the world around you seem a dark and lonely place? A place where you have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. The pressures of life, in general, have become your monsters under the bed. The addictions that you hide have transformed into your most feared "boogieman".
Fear becomes failure when we lose hope in ever finding redemption or a way out of where we have put ourselves in life.
When we look around and see nothing but darkness in our surroundings, then the fear of the dark itself becomes a very real adversary.
In Deuteronomy 31 verse 6, Moses is preparing to hand over the leadership role to Joshua. After decades of miracles and wandering through the desert, victories of just keeping that many people fed and alive, he was getting ready to die. I am sure many feared what life would be like without Moses, a legislator and judge of sorts, but no doubt also a fierce leader and someone whom they trusted with their safety and their family's future. In their time of fear he spoke words that said, be strong and be brave, don't let others push you around. Don't give that a second thought, because God, our God of deliverance, walks ahead of your path. He takes every step with you, He will not fail you and He will never leave you. What a morale boost Moses gave to his new leaders, and the entire group of followers. Just like my mother, encouraging me to close my eyes, that everything was okay because she was on duty. God reminded them through Moses that He was still with them, that they were strong and blessed, and that He would never leave them. Likewise, He is telling each one of us that same thing today. He is there in our darkness, watching over us. When we call to Him, He brings our "water" and listens to our ramblings about monsters under the bed, or in our closet. He walks our path in front of us, like a good parent would, to be nearby when, not if, we need His help.
In the past few years, I have lost both of my parents. My dad several years ago, and my mom just recently. I had great parents, they were not perfect, but the type that was supportive, and always wanting me to earn what I had. I can honestly say that there is a fear, a finality if you will, that those persons that held such unconditional love for me are now not around anymore. The two people that I knew would always keep my best interests in mind, aren't here to call about my problems and concerns. I know what the people felt like when they heard that Moses was not coming with them into the promised land. Depressed, afraid, lost. It might be that you too are feeling those kinds of emotions inside yourself at this moment. Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a parent, spouse or precious child; it is a fear and sadness more gripping than we can describe, with a depth like an abyss. Possibly for you, it is a financial train wreck costing you everything, or just a general sense about yourself that you are not worth the trouble to save.
As ragamuffins, we all have those fears. Worthlessness, anger, being scared and feeling spiritually destitute and completely alone. There is One who gave everything He had to get to know you. Who decided long ago that you were worth everything, and that you should never be alone. I would remind you to call out to God for Him to come and sit with you for a while. Just like my mom used to do for me when I was so afraid of the dark, Jesus is waiting and ready to be with you through your brokenness and life struggle. His water will do more than quench a mild thirst, the living water of Jesus can change your night into day and can turn your mourning into dancing. Trust that He is there, call His name, and the glass of water that you receive will never run dry.
