Can I Have a Glass of Water..

     As young children, from the darkness of our sequester of bedtime, it rises from our racing and fearfully busy minds; from a mere idea to the quiet unheard words slipping through our lips. No answer, we raise our call another level of urgency, a little louder. Again with a cough and a clearing throat, we call out to our parents, "daddy, mommy, can I have a glass of water?" Is it that we are really thirsty, or do we fear the loneliness and dark seclusion? For me, it was one more chance to hear the voice of my mother or father saying, "it's okay, don't be afraid". I always took a drink, waited for another hug, and slipped away peacefully into my dreams. It never seemed too late or too much of a bother, for them to assure me that they were still there, that everything was okay, and that I was safe in their care. There are times in the darkness of my life, and the desperation of the hour, that I call out to God, just like the younger me did for that last cup of water at night. That last chance to know that everything would be alright. Our God hears your prayer, no matter the hour. No matter how desperate.

   Fear is something that we feel from a very early stage in our life. It can be severe enough to cripple our sense of adventure and stunt the natural quest for excitement, or it can be just enough to keep us honest and respectful of the power and dangers of life in general. Fear from the unknown can be hard to overcome; then there is just plain being scared. We have all been scared of one thing or another. Failure at school or at work, failure to have courage enough to ask that special someone to dance, failure to be a successful parent or spouse. Fear can keep us from failure, it can also most certainly keep us from trying.
   As a young child, we call out to our parents from our bed, "can I have a glass of water?" I know that I did this quite often. So much so that my mom started sending me to bed with a small glass of water, just in case, (something that I continue to this day). I am not so sure that I was really all that thirsty, I was afraid. The fear of the dark, and being alone gripped me beyond my ability to manage with counting sheep. It was the comfort of hearing her voice and seeing her face, that put my fears to rest. Sometimes she would sit there by my bedside, turn off the light, and tell me, "close your eyes and go to sleep, I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of". I can still remember her touching my forehead to comb back my hair, and whispering "goodnight".  I seemed to always find rest in that, no matter how fierce the monsters were.

     Is it 2 am in your life? Does the world around you seem a dark and lonely place? A place where you have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. The pressures of life, in general, have become your monsters under the bed. The addictions that you hide have transformed into your most feared "boogieman".

Fear becomes failure when we lose hope in ever finding redemption or a way out of where we have put ourselves in life. 

When we look around and see nothing but darkness in our surroundings, then the fear of the dark itself becomes a very real adversary.

     In Deuteronomy 31 verse 6, Moses is preparing to hand over the leadership role to Joshua. After decades of miracles and wandering through the desert, victories of just keeping that many people fed and alive, he was getting ready to die. I am sure many feared what life would be like without Moses, a legislator and judge of sorts, but no doubt also a fierce leader and someone whom they trusted with their safety and their family's future. In their time of fear he spoke words that said, be strong and be brave, don't let others push you around. Don't give that a second thought, because God, our God of deliverance, walks ahead of your path. He takes every step with you,  He will not fail you and He will never leave you. What a morale boost Moses gave to his new leaders, and the entire group of followers. Just like my mother, encouraging me to close my eyes, that everything was okay because she was on duty. God reminded them through Moses that He was still with them, that they were strong and blessed, and that He would never leave them. Likewise, He is telling each one of us that same thing today. He is there in our darkness, watching over us. When we call to Him, He brings our "water" and listens to our ramblings about monsters under the bed, or in our closet. He walks our path in front of us, like a good parent would, to be nearby when, not if, we need His help.

     In the past few years, I have lost both of my parents. My dad several years ago, and my mom just recently. I had great parents, they were not perfect, but the type that was supportive, and always wanting me to earn what I had.  I can honestly say that there is a fear, a finality if you will, that those persons that held such unconditional love for me are now not around anymore. The two people that I knew would always keep my best interests in mind, aren't here to call about my problems and concerns. I know what the people felt like when they heard that Moses was not coming with them into the promised land. Depressed, afraid, lost. It might be that you too are feeling those kinds of emotions inside yourself at this moment. Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a parent, spouse or precious child; it is a fear and sadness more gripping than we can describe, with a depth like an abyss. Possibly for you, it is a financial train wreck costing you everything, or just a general sense about yourself that you are not worth the trouble to save.

     As ragamuffins, we all have those fears. Worthlessness, anger, being scared and feeling spiritually destitute and completely alone. There is One who gave everything He had to get to know you. Who decided long ago that you were worth everything, and that you should never be alone. I would remind you to call out to God for Him to come and sit with you for a while. Just like my mom used to do for me when I was so afraid of the dark, Jesus is waiting and ready to be with you through your brokenness and life struggle. His water will do more than quench a mild thirst, the living water of Jesus can change your night into day and can turn your mourning into dancing. Trust that He is there, call His name, and the glass of water that you receive will never run dry.

Sorry to Bother You..

Do you feel like you are bothering God when you pray?

     It seems to happen just as you get to the best part of your conversation, or just as the most important point of what you have to say is coming out of your mouth, the phone rings or the door bell chimes, and all at once your thoughts are thrown under the proverbial discussion bus. If you have children then it can and will happen just about anytime, important or not, the interruption. The point in time where someone else's concerns or thoughts become front and center, and that thing that you had hoped to share, important, life-changing and all, just has to take a back seat. These moments are when you come to realize that most peoples priorities are not the same as yours.
     This scenario really seems to strike a personal note, when we are sharing our hurt feelings, or a special burden that we are dealing with. It is all to easy to feel unimportant when others have a different view of what should come first, either in life, or in simple conversation. Learning to listen is a very important part of being in a relationship, what ever kind of relationship it is that you are in. Teddy Roosevelt had a saying that I heard many years ago, it goes like this, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care". Simply put, if you spend all of your time in a relationship expounding on how smart you are, or how good you do something, and lack the skill to hear others when they need you too, then all of your educated mastery and effort aren't helping them one bit. To others in your relationship, you might just seem like an uncaring know-it-all; someone a bit too self-centered to really be interested in the thoughts or concerns of others.
     One thought that I have had over the years was how does God care for each one of us, listen to us, and take interest in our toils, while doing all of the rest of the things a universal God would have to do? Does He care about the little aspects of our lives like school tests, and stress at work? When I fail to plan well enough for my monthly bills or put myself into financial hardship due to bad decisions, is He going to help with that too? When I pray for things that I care about, why do I feel like I am interrupting Him and taking Him away from other things far more important than mine. Isn't He needed somewhere else for life and death things like healing cancer or stopping the persecution of His followers? Surely He is.
     Like the good parent, He is always listening for our call, and knows our needs before we do. How He does it all and hears each one of us without distraction, even scripture says that understanding some things of the realm of heaven are simply beyond our comprehension. If I some how had the knowledge to write it all down, and tried to explained it here in this message, it is likely we still would not understand any of it. He is God. A being of wisdom and mystery, and answers for some of our questions will just have to wait. But some questions have answers in plain sight, such as the question of Him really caring about our lives or not, both for the grand and finite issues, there is a direct answer. In 1 Peter 5:7 it says to give all of your troubles to Him, because He loves and cares for you. There is no definition mentioned of the severity of the troubles or the value according to their importance, size or limit; in fact, it says give Him "all" of your troubles. The way I see it, that means both big and small. That's every school test and quiz. Best friends that have an argument with each other, all the way up to spouses that are giving up on their commitment, He cares. Lost puppies and kittens to children who have run away, He cares. Our stressful lives rob us of our joy in life, I am quite sure He also cares about that. It would seem that no concern or crisis of ours would be too large or too small because He said, bring all of your troubles to me. It isn't a bother, it's love.
     It is our good fortune that in God's kingdom, we never need to wait to talk to Him. We are not interrupting when we pray, we are empowering the spiritual realm and acting just as we were taught. Jesus went straight to His Father in prayer many times, and He taught us to do nothing less. Just make sure that you don't wait until a crisis occurs to make that connection. Though I know and believe that even your first whisper towards heaven is heard and answered, it doesn't make sense to live life without that connection of grace from God. It is free after all, no roaming fees apply, nothing embarrassing required.
     God's plan for us is to realize this kind of lifestyle in our day to day walk. Praise and prayer are regular activities of a righteous life path. Although we often struggle to set aside our 'perfect' time or place, God doesn't have that problem. He is always available, always waiting, and compassionately listening for our quiet call of His name. In Thessalonians 5: 16-18, God says to stay positive and pray all the time, pray through good times and bad, no matter your place or status. It goes on to say that this is God's exact life plan for everyone, constant and consistent prayer. As ragamuffins, we are all tired, worn, and occasionally feeling a little less than worthy to bring our needs before an all-powerful, omnipotent being. But time and time again, that is exactly what we are instructed to do. Each  of the disciples of Jesus had to learn how to deal with failure and loss. They said the wrong things, ran from what was right and honorable, denied their status and involvement with Christ; and yet He continued to pursue their hearts and minds, convincing them one by one, that He really was who He said he was, and that He loved them in spite of their scars of failure and their tears of sorrow.
     What great news to you and I, there is no line to form, no number to take, we only have to speak His name, and His promise says that He is listening. Remember not to confuse that fact that you don't get what you want, with Him not answering. A great deal of the time, He answers with His plan in mind, and not ours. But He does answer. But if you never stop to ask, thinking that he can't possibly find interest in your needs or hurts, you will never know the peace or joy, that comes to you when you see the full and complete process and end result, answering your cry. You are not an interruption, not wasting your breath, or crying out your voice into an empty void; you are a child of the King, and He has said it in His word, and proved it throughout history to His people, that He longs to hear us call His name and commune with Him. I am quite sure that there is no happier occasion in His kingdom, than when a long lost child begs for Him to hear his or her voice. In a loving family, welcoming home those who have been away is a special moment; from a few hours to a hand full of days or years that have slipped by, you and I are welcomed before the Lord, invited no less, by His Son. He is our example in finding an audience of acceptance and love, One who always hears, and is never bothered by our presence or interrupted by our prayers to our Father.


1 Peter 5: 7 / 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (MSG)

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)