ONE...

Loneliness to Friendship

   We often talk about the meaning of the word ‘one’ in our churches today. Worshipping for an audience of one. Being ‘one’ with God. In the secular world, we tell people to be one with nature or get one-on-one with a task or important person. It seems we as a people and society put a lot of importance on being singularly good at who we are, or is it being good at who we want people to think that we are? Certainly, being independent is a good trait to aspire to, it has its upside when it comes to being successful in life. My regular career has always been centered around a job requiring a great deal of individual thinking, and self-motivation. So, I concede up front that it’s not a bad thing to be self-sufficient. It can, in fact, save your life.

   The idea that I want to explore here is where do you go, what do you do, when your individual, self-created plans and ideas run into roadblocks? When you come against walls in life or obstacles so huge that you feel overwhelmed or defeated before you ever start your day. Maybe today, you could barely get out of bed because depression weighed you down from the moment that you opened your eyes. It could be that life-shattering news about your health or the health of a loved one has beaten you up, and you feel as though life is not bearable or even worthwhile. There are millions of reasons to be in that place in your life today. Bad life choices can put you in ugly financial wreckage, or personally in an emotional prison. Or, you could just be living the life of Job. Where do you find yourself in this story of one?

   Sometimes in our life, we feel like we're a single entity against the world. Like it's us against them. I think back to all the friends that my father had in his lifetime, and how he kept many of those same friends until his dying day. After he retired, he used to go and have coffee with them. They would sit together at a local fast food restaurant and buy ten-cent coffees and apple pies and then talk about all of the world issues and of course grandkids. One day, they decided to come to my house to work on a plugged sewer line. Arriving home at dusk and after a long day at work, I found three or four of these old guys at my house. All of them were in their 70s or 80s, working away digging up the front yard doing their best to suggest the proper repairs for my house’s plumbing issues. It was a thing of friendship beauty. These gentlemen were mostly World War 2 era men; the “let's get it fixed” crowd of people that never stopped to ask if it would be hard or difficult, they just got involved. They made a plan, rolled up their sleeves, worked hard with the knowledge that they had as men of hard knocks and life lessons, then they fixed the problem. Funny thing, I had come home thinking that I would have to work several nights to resolve this problem, their gift to me was that they had resolved most of it for me. What a gift it was too, not so much the actual repairs, but knowing that they would give of their energy and time, to help me and my family for no real reason at all except compassion and charity. I am still amazed by their actions today. Several of them only lived a short time after that day, my dad included, but they taught me so much through their actions.

   You see, each of these men, as individuals could not have helped me resolve my plumbing problems, the harshness of the digging and working underground on that old pipeline, would have overtaxed any one of them individually; however they were not working alone, and that was the lesson that is, to this day, not lost on me. The ability to come together to take care of the needs of one with the strength of many, that was their greatest asset and their path to success. It seems there may be much more here than the obvious though, so let’s look deeper together.

   We’ve discussed the obstacles and trials of life as causing us to feel alone and beaten, so how can we combat it? There are many others that seemed alone but were part of the bigger plans of God. Obviously, Jonah, whom I have written about before. His plans were so opposite from Gods, that he boarded a boat sailing in the other direction to get away from God. Gods plan and the actions of unaware bystanders brought him back to fulfill his destiny. Moses was left to die in the desert, alone. This young man was raised with everything. His family was rich, he had power beyond anything most of us can imagine, yet his story in God’s plan left him alone and defeated. I often wonder how long Moses wandered without knowing if he might live. Don’t you think that he was convinced many times that he would die in that desert? In time, God brings him to a place where Moses understands and realizes the big picture; even then, there are supporting friends and loved ones that fill in where Moses falls short.

   You see, the friends of my dad, the old guys who worked together to fix my house’s plumbing issue, they knew the power of coming together, to labor and toil with a common goal. It made their friendship stronger and brought them pleasure through the accomplishment and success of their deed. This is the basis for community and building blocks of the church. That feeling is something I find lacking on many days in my life, the camaraderie of friends who will step in to “do” life together; and sadly, it is the downfall of many churches were they talk about it but rarely carry it out, holding hands with the dying, taking food to the sick, it’s more than thoughts and prayers, it’s actions to provide help to someone that needs it. It’s taking the time to go to someone’s house even without them asking and fixing a plumbing problem. Almost daily I think of how I have arrived at the place in life, where knowing friends like my dad had, is a rarity and painfully absent in my life, maybe it is the same for you.

   In Ecclesiastes 4, verse 9 there is a rather famous line of the Bible, and the Amplified version says it something like this, “two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” It certainly isn’t easy, this idea of finding a like-minded partner to help you carry the load; after all, people fail, they lie, and they betray. So where is the middle of that proverbial road? And how do you and I find that elusive friendship if we’ve already lost faith and sight of it in our lives?

   I believe there are a few things that can prepare and guide us toward this rewarding relationship if we work at it, perhaps together, you an I can give these a try. First, examine your relationship with God. Sometimes we don’t know why He tolerates us at all. We fail, we fall short of being “good people”, we have bad habits, the list goes on and on. Remember, Jesus called out to his disciples while they were still fishermen and tax collectors. They weren’t rabbis from the local seminary, they were failed sinners, far from perfect, and they continued to fail even while following Jesus. They didn’t understand, they lied to protect themselves, they were violent, yet they still went on being used by God. Find your place and talk to God about who He wants you to be.

   Second, we must seek the right kind of friends. Those who keep us accountable to what is important to our goals and what God is calling us to be and do. People that always tell you that you’re great, when you’re not, may build you up in a way that makes you believe in something false. Believe me, that isn’t helping you. We need honest people around us that can help us grow, be there when we stumble, love us when we’re dirty from sin, and help us up when we fall. Those people are usually just like us, friends that have been there, done that. That’s why they know you need help. Value these people and make them your friends, protect these alignments because really good ones are hard to find. Don’t kid yourself here, good friends are not easily found or kept, they are a precious commodity.

   Third, well I really don’t’ have a “third”. It really comes down to this, when your relationship with God is good, your relationship with others can be good as well. If you are estranged or absent with God, you will never find peace or alignment with the type of friends we’ve been talking about, I am quite sure of that. My dad had those friends because he lived an honest, respected life. He said what he meant and meant what he said.

To most of those guys, his faith in God wasn’t what they respected most about him, but because of his faith in God, he lived in a way that they could not help but respect.

   Do you see how that works? He lived his faith and told his story in a way that made him easy to have as a friend. He was trustworthy, he was kind and positive. He was faithful and patient. The reason he could exhibit these traits was that he worked at keeping his relationship right with God. He would be the first to tell you if he were here, that he was so very far from perfect. I saw that distance myself on a few occasions. The answer though, is that he kept trying. He kept allowing God to work in and through his life.

   Where are you today in that walk? Are you on a path toward God or away from him? Do you try to avoid Him when He speaks to you or do you listen even if it’s after you have to hear it a couple of times? I can tell you where I am, I’ve been standing still listening. Like being in a vast wasteland or dense forest, sometimes it’s hard to find your way. I think I have walked a little in each direction, towards Him and away, we all do that from time to time. But if you want to stop being lonely, if you seek those friends that can help you up after you fall, as I do, then we all need to walk with purpose toward God, and a little less self-condemnation and excuses about how we’re not worthy or we’ve gone too far the other way. Jesus made you and I worthy to walk towards the throne of God, what we have to do now is be willing to accept that we can, that He welcomes us, and is ready for us to be at His table. When we do that, we are no longer only ‘One’, we’re mishpachah, home with family.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 (AMP)

"Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified^® Bible (AMP),
Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation
Used by permission. www.Lockman.org"

Forever..

Let’s talk about us for a minute…

                I am sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘nothing lasts forever’. The longer I’m here on this merry-go-round of life, the more I realize how true that statement is. Lately, I have been reflecting on life and my place in it; the things that seem to matter the most here in this world, are the hardest to hold onto. Children grow up, jobs come and go, friends come into your life and fade from view. What makes me “me”, seems to be harder to define with each passing day, certainly a little more with every personal and major life event. The things that used to be low on my list of importance, now occupy hours of my time, which I lose track of more and more with ease. When my wife and I were first married, we had priorities that focused on who we were, and what we enjoyed. As all of you know life happens, and in our case, a family takes form in the way of children, and in the span of what seems like moments, our priorities and our hobbies suddenly revolve around them. In most cases, that’s not a bad thing. We need to be attentive to our family and children, the time is well spent, and I never regret being with mine for fun adventures and just being a family.

          For a few minutes though, let’s talk about what happens to us personally when we don’t keep a part of ourselves focused on who we are, our passions and purpose in life. You can have your kids as a passion and certainly, they can give you purpose, but what happens to the rest of your story. In my case, I used to have a specific personal direction in my life, one that I could define and knew well; perhaps you did too, or still do. But if we lose sight of that on the inside, it can affect how we act on the outside, and certainly it can or will eventually cripple our ability to find joy with our family and others because we have lost ourselves in the drive to fulfill the passions and purposes of everyone but who you are on the inside.

Here is one thought that I commonly find in my random personal fear file, ‘how will I ever live in this house without kids running around in it?’ Even with a wonderful wife in my life, whom I feel closer to every day, I fear loneliness. It’s like a hungry animal waiting for its next meal, and I’m their prey. I try to hide from it, but I’m terrified of being exposed, I run from one comfort replacing idea to the next. No amount of “things” can bring me peace. However, looking back to when my dad was alive, I realize that he was my ‘peacemaker’. I always felt safe around him. I suppose him being gone now, leaves me feeling more revealed than I imagined possible, more unsure of how to process happiness. He was indeed my hero and mentor; now the question is, how do I pass that on? Sometimes we think of how things could have been in our lives, instead of how they really are. One thing my dad said to me time and time again, “be happy with today, right where you are”. And he was good at that. But how…

How do we relate that positive philosophy to our living with changing priorities and losing sight of our personal direction and purpose in life? It seems to me that many of our major life events make and mold how we see ourselves, how we value ourselves. No doubt that we have each enjoyed many happy moments and periods of time in our life where we were happy and living the fun and fulfilling dream that you envisioned for yourself and possibly your family. But those painful times, they find every one of us. Whether it’s illness or tragedy, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, or divorce; the list is long and depressing. It’s hard to plan for fun or experience happy adventures when all your life’s valuables are seemingly falling in ruin at your feet.

 I believe that it's during these times that most of us allow the internal drive and purpose of our lives to become altered. Where the vision for our happiness becomes skewed or blurred, or maybe even completely blocked out by the hurt of an illness or the depression of a sudden loss. It’s during these times that the second part of what my dad used to say to me comes into play. He would ask, “what are you doing that for?” In other words, is this your passion or someone else’s? I will take that question one step further here in our thoughts together and ask, ‘who... are you doing that for?’ ‘Who do you wrap your life’s purpose around?’ The answer to that might shed some light on the reason behind our sudden and sometimes debilitating internal struggles with our life’s purpose and the fears of failure and loneliness. What or who is at the focus of your life? And when these hard times come to us, and truly they will come to us all eventually, then what is the foundational center of your life? Certainly, don’t spend all your time looking too far ahead to see your path change, and don’t fall into the trap of constantly looking back into your past. It takes a lot of effort to focus on today, regardless of our feelings, and see the good in a bad day, a bad month or year.

You see, how you live on the outside, depends largely on how you live on the inside. And your belief that you are a valuable asset to God’s plan during and after your trials, will hinge on whether you live with Him at your center to start with. You and I may not always know our purpose in this life to the exact measure He intends to use it, and our direction will certainly alter course over the years. Remember that most things of value require refinement of some type. In John 12: 24-25 the message of the Bible goes something like this. Until a seed of grain is buried out of sight and lifeless to this world, it cannot grow, it’s just a seed. In fact, it is only after the seed is left underground and experiences the trial of darkness that the miracle of change begins. Eventually growing into a plant fully capable of producing new seeds for many new plants to grow. It continues the lesson with these words to us. Like a seed, if we hold on to our lives so tightly as to prevent change, you will die. The seed will eventually become inert. But if you let go of your fear, and love God with careless abandon, then you will know real love, real grace, and fulfilling purpose, forever.

We are the seeds of God’s kingdom, and yes, we go through all sorts of trials that test our resolve and faith in Him, and each other. This lesson was taught by Jesus just days before His crucifixion. His reminder that through our struggles and heartache, we become more and more valuable to His work here amongst our families and friends. It is the center of our life, the question that I asked you earlier, ‘who… do you do life for’? Though we all fail, if you will put God at the center of your life, your foundation will not move. Your purpose will be steady and fulfilling through all your trials. Today this message is mine as well as yours, I struggle. I hope that together we can remember that struggle is part of sprouting into something new. It’s part of growing and reproducing, but what are we reproducing? Is it worthy of your life’s work? An example being passed down from us to the next seed? Think about that, because your life will leave a legacy somewhere, in someone.

Some of you may not yet have taken that step to trust in a God that you can’t see or touch. After all, the rest of the world tells you that He does not exist, that it’s all just legends and stories told to make us feel better and safe. I won’t debate you on the reality or proof of God, I’ll only tell you that I believe. I felt it inside myself many years ago, as I believe you do too, I knew that I needed Him. It isn’t complicated to stop and tell Him that you want Him in your life. Just talk, God will listen. And though I am not worthy to be His messenger, I pray my legacy and offspring are many who continue to look to God, even in times of darkness. When the light is not seen, and when we feel as though the world has left us for dead and considers us useless; when our priorities and personal direction is in turmoil, I pray that you and I will seek the center of our lives in the presence of a loving Father, whose number one ambition is to show us love and grace. That should be our focus and our gift to those who come after us - today, and forever.

John 12: 24-25

Can I Have a Glass of Water..

     As young children, from the darkness of our sequester of bedtime, it rises from our racing and fearfully busy minds; from a mere idea to the quiet unheard words slipping through our lips. No answer, we raise our call another level of urgency, a little louder. Again with a cough and a clearing throat, we call out to our parents, "daddy, mommy, can I have a glass of water?" Is it that we are really thirsty, or do we fear the loneliness and dark seclusion? For me, it was one more chance to hear the voice of my mother or father saying, "it's okay, don't be afraid". I always took a drink, waited for another hug, and slipped away peacefully into my dreams. It never seemed too late or too much of a bother, for them to assure me that they were still there, that everything was okay, and that I was safe in their care. There are times in the darkness of my life, and the desperation of the hour, that I call out to God, just like the younger me did for that last cup of water at night. That last chance to know that everything would be alright. Our God hears your prayer, no matter the hour. No matter how desperate.

   Fear is something that we feel from a very early stage in our life. It can be severe enough to cripple our sense of adventure and stunt the natural quest for excitement, or it can be just enough to keep us honest and respectful of the power and dangers of life in general. Fear from the unknown can be hard to overcome; then there is just plain being scared. We have all been scared of one thing or another. Failure at school or at work, failure to have courage enough to ask that special someone to dance, failure to be a successful parent or spouse. Fear can keep us from failure, it can also most certainly keep us from trying.
   As a young child, we call out to our parents from our bed, "can I have a glass of water?" I know that I did this quite often. So much so that my mom started sending me to bed with a small glass of water, just in case, (something that I continue to this day). I am not so sure that I was really all that thirsty, I was afraid. The fear of the dark, and being alone gripped me beyond my ability to manage with counting sheep. It was the comfort of hearing her voice and seeing her face, that put my fears to rest. Sometimes she would sit there by my bedside, turn off the light, and tell me, "close your eyes and go to sleep, I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of". I can still remember her touching my forehead to comb back my hair, and whispering "goodnight".  I seemed to always find rest in that, no matter how fierce the monsters were.

     Is it 2 am in your life? Does the world around you seem a dark and lonely place? A place where you have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. The pressures of life, in general, have become your monsters under the bed. The addictions that you hide have transformed into your most feared "boogieman".

Fear becomes failure when we lose hope in ever finding redemption or a way out of where we have put ourselves in life. 

When we look around and see nothing but darkness in our surroundings, then the fear of the dark itself becomes a very real adversary.

     In Deuteronomy 31 verse 6, Moses is preparing to hand over the leadership role to Joshua. After decades of miracles and wandering through the desert, victories of just keeping that many people fed and alive, he was getting ready to die. I am sure many feared what life would be like without Moses, a legislator and judge of sorts, but no doubt also a fierce leader and someone whom they trusted with their safety and their family's future. In their time of fear he spoke words that said, be strong and be brave, don't let others push you around. Don't give that a second thought, because God, our God of deliverance, walks ahead of your path. He takes every step with you,  He will not fail you and He will never leave you. What a morale boost Moses gave to his new leaders, and the entire group of followers. Just like my mother, encouraging me to close my eyes, that everything was okay because she was on duty. God reminded them through Moses that He was still with them, that they were strong and blessed, and that He would never leave them. Likewise, He is telling each one of us that same thing today. He is there in our darkness, watching over us. When we call to Him, He brings our "water" and listens to our ramblings about monsters under the bed, or in our closet. He walks our path in front of us, like a good parent would, to be nearby when, not if, we need His help.

     In the past few years, I have lost both of my parents. My dad several years ago, and my mom just recently. I had great parents, they were not perfect, but the type that was supportive, and always wanting me to earn what I had.  I can honestly say that there is a fear, a finality if you will, that those persons that held such unconditional love for me are now not around anymore. The two people that I knew would always keep my best interests in mind, aren't here to call about my problems and concerns. I know what the people felt like when they heard that Moses was not coming with them into the promised land. Depressed, afraid, lost. It might be that you too are feeling those kinds of emotions inside yourself at this moment. Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a parent, spouse or precious child; it is a fear and sadness more gripping than we can describe, with a depth like an abyss. Possibly for you, it is a financial train wreck costing you everything, or just a general sense about yourself that you are not worth the trouble to save.

     As ragamuffins, we all have those fears. Worthlessness, anger, being scared and feeling spiritually destitute and completely alone. There is One who gave everything He had to get to know you. Who decided long ago that you were worth everything, and that you should never be alone. I would remind you to call out to God for Him to come and sit with you for a while. Just like my mom used to do for me when I was so afraid of the dark, Jesus is waiting and ready to be with you through your brokenness and life struggle. His water will do more than quench a mild thirst, the living water of Jesus can change your night into day and can turn your mourning into dancing. Trust that He is there, call His name, and the glass of water that you receive will never run dry.

Magic or Illusion..

the power of God's love -

God's forgiveness and love isn't about tricking you with slight of hand or distraction from your problems. I will cause a stir in some of you by saying this, but God's wonder just may be the ultimate in magic. After all, His power is inexplicable. He needs no special prop or staged theatrics to 'fool' you into believing in His power, because what He does affects us in ways that can make a personal difference. Is that magic? I don't know for certain what it is, but I do know it's real. On earth, we Christians are taught to guard against and test such powers of unknown origin against what His word says, I know that, so don't write to me chastising me for using the word to describe God's miracles.
    If you were sick and dying without hope of a cure, which would you prefer, an illusion, a mirage of good health yet still dying? Or would you want the wondrous, unexplainable and yes 'magical' healing power of a good God who longs to have a relationship with you - His child.
    As entertainment value goes, illusions are fun. Sometimes they even freak us out a little. Though it is baffling to me why you and I search for answers to our problems among the fakes and the charlatans. The people and things that promise to distract us from our problems, but use the "smoke and mirrors"  of worldly magic and illusion to keep us from the real healer, the One who is the author of love, grace, and forgiveness.
    Maybe we should define the difference between magic and illusion. An illusion is something that is wrongly perceived or understood by the senses. A false belief or deceptive appearance. These types of fake ideas and fools gambits have been around for years, taking people for their money, their possessions, and sometimes their lives. The power in the scam is making the person doubt their own ability to see it or feel it; not knowing that what you see isn't really what you think it is, that is the false belief in a deception. And sadly, many of us go through life, sometimes for years, and sometimes just when it matters the most, with ideas that are a mirage of what is really happening around us. We look at our pain or our failures of this life through a small window limited by our own feelings.
Let us look at the definition of magic, (not the paranormal nonsense): someone who apparently has powers from the supernatural, the power to change the course of an event through an unseen force, one who can create something from seemingly nothing. Okay, for some of you that sometimes wonder about me and the basis of my faith, I assure you that I am not encouraging anyone into the occult, or saying that incantations will get you closer to God. Quite the opposite in fact, I am saying that true power to heal, forgive and create life comes from God. Are there powers of darkness out there that harness these ideas of supernatural magic and illusion? You bet that there are, and they are very dangerous. Think for a minute about anyone that can do those type of things we defined as "magic", seemingly create things out of thin air, change the course of events to their will. Illusions for fun and entertainment are one thing, they can be explained and surely wow the senses with amazement, but magic with spells and crystals to 'focus your powers' for the manipulation of the supernatural, God says that these types of things are from the darkness of evil, and that we should stay away from them in our life. Far away.
That being said, how then would you define or describe God's power? Great? Exalted? That is difficult isn't it? Of course we can use all of the over-the-top words that we know such as limitless, amazing, mighty, awesome; somehow they all seem to fall short of a real description of just what the Creator of the heavens and earth does to affect the course of our lives when we call out to Him. When you witness the beauty of a falling star or the wonder and vastness of our universe or hold a newborn child of yours for the first time and feel their tiny fingers wrap around yours. It is truly something magical. The best and only good kind of magic, God's.
God does not desire to be our Santa Clause, only to be called on when we need His miracles of deliverance. And He is surely not an illusionist, deceiving us into believing that He has made our 'elephant' in the room to disappear, only to find it later hidden in some dark corner. No God's magic is His love for us, His longing to be in a real relationship with each of us where we know each other by name. Illusions may be entertaining as part of a show or theater, but they are hurtful when we find that we have believed in a lie as part of our life's journey. They bring emptiness into our heart and deliver us from nothing. Addictions to work, play or desire, are all illusions of real happiness. If you find yourself in a place where you keep wondering why your life is full of disappointment, pain or personal failure, ask yourself as I do, are you believing in and looking for, the illusion of happiness; or are you looking for the One who can create wonder from brokenness, the One who can change the course of events in your life through real supernatural power.
There are most likely no adequate words in our language that can accurately describe the wondrous mystery that is God's power. But then if we could, it wouldn't be quite so wondrous or mysterious, would it? The magic of God's love is that it is free, even though we have lived lives that go against His longing to forgive us and have us get to know Him. It's still free. The things that we each see as miracles, or the magic of God, healing, deliverance from danger or illness, those are not the real miracles of the Gospel story. The Truth is simple, as people who defy God and His plan for our lives constantly, and steal joy and cause physical pain and sometimes even death to His children, He still pours out His love to us. Those of us hiding in our dirty, ragged clothes of lies, covered in the mess of our shame and disappointment. He never meant for us to go through life as ragamuffin children, but that's exactly who we tend to be. Don't go through life looking for the illusion of happiness. And don't seek the things that make your pain go away temporarily. Take the first step today toward the real magic of forgiveness, toward the One who stands at the door of your heart every day and night, waiting to come in and do life with you. He can create something completely new from the rubble of your life, and that isn't magic, that is God's love for His child. Only fools live in an illusion and believe it to be true, the wise seek stability in the Truth. Jesus waits for you  to seek Him and put your trust in Him. No magic, just God's love.

Randy

Proverbs 14:18 (MSG)

Galations 5:19-21 (MSG)

Isaiah 8:19 (MSG)

Prodigal

        Many times in my own life, I have judged myself. Judged by critical standards and by soft, far too forgiving standards. I have run from authority, and run toward it for shelter after doing something dumb or immature. The one thing that my parents gave me as a gift, without financial cost or my working to earn, was the acceptance that they had for me being me. Not that they looked the other way when I was wrong, they didn't. They usually let me know it when I was doing something of concern to them. Unfortunately that didn't always translate to me making a change or doing what they wanted, there are sure some pitfalls that I could have saved myself from drowning in. But that's life, that's learning, and sometimes, that's painful.

         In our lives there will be paths that we must walk alone. Sometimes they will be hurt, and sometimes we just chose the wrong one. You and I have both done that; we have been on a path toward destruction, one that could have ended up very badly for us. Somewhere, hopefully you made a change, saw a way out, a light at the end of your tunnel. However, perhaps you still live in fear and darkness, I tell you that many days I feel as you do in that dreadfully murky place. The future is easy to obscure, and hope is a fragile thing when life reminds us that we are not in charge. When we put our hope in finances or careers that can disappear quicker than they are earned, we run the risk of opening the doorway to disappointment and losing our real self-worth. Likewise, failing to spend time with family and friends can leave us feeling unloved, and desperate. Or maybe you're not getting along with a spouse, parent or child, what happens to those whom we know if we give up? Is it us that are lost, or those that we disagree with? Have you hurt someone while on this path or been hurt through someone else's choice to walk away or their direct intention to cause you pain?
  Regardless of the source, there is peace and shelter for your heart. There is also a guide to how to deal with those who are lost, or adrift in life's sea of despair. If you are the ship sailing with no direction and no anchor, there is hope and grace for you too. But maybe your asking, why should anyone care? Why do I write to you when I don't know you? And especially, why would God care what happens to a person that has chosen to walk away from the love and warmth of a family or God? 

        While Jesus was in ministry in and around Jerusalem, he often angered the religious leaders of that time by teaching and hanging out with ordinary people, and on occasion eating with that crowd of "sinners". A crowd that the leaders deemed unworthy of such direct contact, if Jesus was indeed who he said that he was, or even just a temple rabbi. They looked at such non-clean people as unimportant and lower class. When Jesus got the chance to tell them why, he said something like this, if you had a flock of animals that were making your living with, and meant everything to the survival of your household, you wouldn't want to lose even one of them. In fact if you did find one missing,  you would leave the other 99 in good care and go to attempt to retrieve the one that was lost. Without a doubt, you would even be happy or celebratory about getting back the one that was lost. His point was this, why wouldn't he be trying to reach out to the lost? More over, why is it not surprising to us, those cast aside by "the religious", that the leadership of the church or local government wasn't happy with him. This meant that they would have to share their power; but more than that, it would have meant that they shared their importance and status with the lowly public. Those motives of judgment aren't old or new to this world, there was self indulgent greed then, and there still is today. But a true shepard, isn't worried about losing power or prominence, it's about finding the lost.
  Now back to you and I, it should be a little more obvious now what kind of attitude that we need to have when it comes to seeking and serving the hurting, the abandoned, and the lost. No matter what stage of despair or regret that you and I find ourselves in, there is grace and hope in the shepard, Jesus. Our torn and raggedy lives are the very thing he seeks to renew. But how do we do that for others when we are ragamuffins ourselves? How will people look at us when we try to help someone else from the heap of our own ruins? Well first of all, get your heart in the right place, make sure that you're not seeking something in return; helping others isn't about the reward, although there will be one. If you seek the reward most of all, your help will be as worthless as an umbrella of mesh in a downpour. If your motives are righteous, that means without greed or self grandiosity, then don't worry about what others think or say. That isn't to say that good council shouldn't be listened to, you should always seek the ear and wisdom of someone that you know and trust to keep you accountable and on task. But the nay-sayers, let them scoff at you for your efforts, you're in good company. Remember that the religious leaders hated Jesus because he sought out the meek and the hurting, no matter if they were the "in" crowd or not.
  If you are like me, long before now you have asked the important question of why. Why do we need to help each other? Why do we need to change at all? Why does God want us to do this seeking for Him, can't He do it? And why Randy, do you write these irritating questions? I'm not sure that I can answer the last one, but the first questions are a little easier. In  John 21: 15-19, Jesus asked John one question, three separate times. He asked John if John loved him. Each time John answered, Jesus replied with feed my sheep, to the immediate irritation of John I might add, it was as if the group of them needed to know the simplicity of the message and the mission. Find those in need, do something about it. Paraphrased here as: Live as a follower of Christ, serve as best you can to find and "feed" the lost, and love one another as brothers and sisters in one big family. It seems to be that middle one that really gives people the most trouble, serving.
       Thinking again of the prodigal story, I am reminded of the father running out to meet his son. His son was dirty, smelled like a barnyard, and hadn't even uttered any words of apology, yet his father met him on the road, with a big hug and kiss. Tell me again how you and I can't have grace and forgiveness because of what we have done in our past. Time after time, Jesus told his disciples to go, feed my sheep, go and make others like yourself. He taught them not to look at the outside, and that sin was sin, call it what it is, forgive the ragged sheep, and bring them home.
        I know that each of us have our idea of what God must think of us. The truth is, in his eyes we are as filthy as any drugged out prostitute, or as unlovable as an abuser of others, but through the sacrifice of His son, and His representation of our lives before the Father, we each become the perfection that is only found through being born again. It's not science or science fiction, it's not something that you show someone in your hand, but it's as real as the sun that warms the daytime. We are all prodigal children. Sometimes we are the sheep needing to be found, and other times we are the ones doing the finding, I think that's all in God's plan. He uses us right where we are, still a little dirty from the barnyard of life. And without a pedigree of whose at the top of the list and whose at the bottom. Read the passage in John 21 again, go ahead, I'll wait. It's one description for all of the lost; I read nothing in there about the really nice award winning sheep getting priority or the ugly, half bald, sheep getting pushed to the back of the line. Just all of us raggedy sheep in this together, and one Father ready to run down the road and meet us at the point when we realize that we can go home to him. Whether you are searching for sheep, walking the prodigal path back towards home, or still feeding the pigs in the slop, never judge others by the way they look on the outside, and don't stop thinking of yourself as a child of the King. He said that he stands at the door of every prodigal heart and knocks, hoping to find each and every one of His lost and hurting raggedy children, a status and mission by the way, which you and I both share.

Luke 15: 6 / John 21: 15-25

Sorry to Bother You..

Do you feel like you are bothering God when you pray?

     It seems to happen just as you get to the best part of your conversation, or just as the most important point of what you have to say is coming out of your mouth, the phone rings or the door bell chimes, and all at once your thoughts are thrown under the proverbial discussion bus. If you have children then it can and will happen just about anytime, important or not, the interruption. The point in time where someone else's concerns or thoughts become front and center, and that thing that you had hoped to share, important, life-changing and all, just has to take a back seat. These moments are when you come to realize that most peoples priorities are not the same as yours.
     This scenario really seems to strike a personal note, when we are sharing our hurt feelings, or a special burden that we are dealing with. It is all to easy to feel unimportant when others have a different view of what should come first, either in life, or in simple conversation. Learning to listen is a very important part of being in a relationship, what ever kind of relationship it is that you are in. Teddy Roosevelt had a saying that I heard many years ago, it goes like this, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care". Simply put, if you spend all of your time in a relationship expounding on how smart you are, or how good you do something, and lack the skill to hear others when they need you too, then all of your educated mastery and effort aren't helping them one bit. To others in your relationship, you might just seem like an uncaring know-it-all; someone a bit too self-centered to really be interested in the thoughts or concerns of others.
     One thought that I have had over the years was how does God care for each one of us, listen to us, and take interest in our toils, while doing all of the rest of the things a universal God would have to do? Does He care about the little aspects of our lives like school tests, and stress at work? When I fail to plan well enough for my monthly bills or put myself into financial hardship due to bad decisions, is He going to help with that too? When I pray for things that I care about, why do I feel like I am interrupting Him and taking Him away from other things far more important than mine. Isn't He needed somewhere else for life and death things like healing cancer or stopping the persecution of His followers? Surely He is.
     Like the good parent, He is always listening for our call, and knows our needs before we do. How He does it all and hears each one of us without distraction, even scripture says that understanding some things of the realm of heaven are simply beyond our comprehension. If I some how had the knowledge to write it all down, and tried to explained it here in this message, it is likely we still would not understand any of it. He is God. A being of wisdom and mystery, and answers for some of our questions will just have to wait. But some questions have answers in plain sight, such as the question of Him really caring about our lives or not, both for the grand and finite issues, there is a direct answer. In 1 Peter 5:7 it says to give all of your troubles to Him, because He loves and cares for you. There is no definition mentioned of the severity of the troubles or the value according to their importance, size or limit; in fact, it says give Him "all" of your troubles. The way I see it, that means both big and small. That's every school test and quiz. Best friends that have an argument with each other, all the way up to spouses that are giving up on their commitment, He cares. Lost puppies and kittens to children who have run away, He cares. Our stressful lives rob us of our joy in life, I am quite sure He also cares about that. It would seem that no concern or crisis of ours would be too large or too small because He said, bring all of your troubles to me. It isn't a bother, it's love.
     It is our good fortune that in God's kingdom, we never need to wait to talk to Him. We are not interrupting when we pray, we are empowering the spiritual realm and acting just as we were taught. Jesus went straight to His Father in prayer many times, and He taught us to do nothing less. Just make sure that you don't wait until a crisis occurs to make that connection. Though I know and believe that even your first whisper towards heaven is heard and answered, it doesn't make sense to live life without that connection of grace from God. It is free after all, no roaming fees apply, nothing embarrassing required.
     God's plan for us is to realize this kind of lifestyle in our day to day walk. Praise and prayer are regular activities of a righteous life path. Although we often struggle to set aside our 'perfect' time or place, God doesn't have that problem. He is always available, always waiting, and compassionately listening for our quiet call of His name. In Thessalonians 5: 16-18, God says to stay positive and pray all the time, pray through good times and bad, no matter your place or status. It goes on to say that this is God's exact life plan for everyone, constant and consistent prayer. As ragamuffins, we are all tired, worn, and occasionally feeling a little less than worthy to bring our needs before an all-powerful, omnipotent being. But time and time again, that is exactly what we are instructed to do. Each  of the disciples of Jesus had to learn how to deal with failure and loss. They said the wrong things, ran from what was right and honorable, denied their status and involvement with Christ; and yet He continued to pursue their hearts and minds, convincing them one by one, that He really was who He said he was, and that He loved them in spite of their scars of failure and their tears of sorrow.
     What great news to you and I, there is no line to form, no number to take, we only have to speak His name, and His promise says that He is listening. Remember not to confuse that fact that you don't get what you want, with Him not answering. A great deal of the time, He answers with His plan in mind, and not ours. But He does answer. But if you never stop to ask, thinking that he can't possibly find interest in your needs or hurts, you will never know the peace or joy, that comes to you when you see the full and complete process and end result, answering your cry. You are not an interruption, not wasting your breath, or crying out your voice into an empty void; you are a child of the King, and He has said it in His word, and proved it throughout history to His people, that He longs to hear us call His name and commune with Him. I am quite sure that there is no happier occasion in His kingdom, than when a long lost child begs for Him to hear his or her voice. In a loving family, welcoming home those who have been away is a special moment; from a few hours to a hand full of days or years that have slipped by, you and I are welcomed before the Lord, invited no less, by His Son. He is our example in finding an audience of acceptance and love, One who always hears, and is never bothered by our presence or interrupted by our prayers to our Father.


1 Peter 5: 7 / 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (MSG)

Revision

  We live in an era where the family structure has taken a beating with the popular opinion that "it takes a village" and not necessarily good parents to raise and train our children. While I don't deny that good mentors and even a few great teachers along the way taught me some important things about life and myself, the thought that I am talking about here are parents that relinquish or even shrug their responsibility to nurture and raise their children to be the best that they can be. I am always shocked to hear people agree that parenting today is harder than ever and that they welcome the influence and uninhibited input from our schools and media. I may be wrong, but looking back in my family's past, I see plenty of tough times. My parents came from relatively poor families, and as kids, my brothers and I had to work for things that we wanted. Extravagance was never part of our lives. So it seems perspective makes a big difference when you are looking at your surroundings, both financial and spiritual. As small children, we all learn our value and self-worth in a few short years. We pick up the mannerisms and habits of our parents or guardians, good and bad. If you have ever struggled with your self-image, an addiction, or abusive behavior because of what you learned as a child, then the rest of this message is focused for our mutual thought and healing.

     What formula in life can take children who overcome a family history of drug and alcohol abuse or physical and mental exploitation, and lead them to become happy and healthy adults, seemingly free from the hereditary hangups of their past? How do you take a tragically bad memory, learn and grow from it, without digging it up all the time? Just referring to it in a discussion can seem to cause us to relive it again and again. My mom and dad both came from families where alcohol and the abusive behavior of their fathers were almost considered normal. Neither my mom or my dad brought up those bad times very often, most of the time they only referred to their families' in good ways and how they had learned from the bad experiences that they never wanted to burden their children with such pain. And they never did.

     They were so convinced that they could alter who they were, that they took what were sometimes extreme measures, to make sure that the example that they set for us boys was not one filled with the same abuses that they had grown up with. They began by first dealing with their own lives. I think they decided that if they didn't have those things in their lives, then we would learn that it wasn't necessary to have them in ours either. Within their self-examinations, they also returned to roots involving the church and began to seek out God. Both of my grandmothers were very good women; although my mother's mother admitted that she wasn't a very good judge of men, married four times and eight children; one day as a young boy I asked her if she was ever going to get married again, without any time to consider the answer, she retorted, "I surely don't need another man in my life". For all of my life, and until her passing, she was true to her word. My father's mother was a very religious and kind spirit, she provided the very early dialog that pointed my mom and dad towards the church. I think that was the final step for them in finding what could make a difference in changing their life... Eventually, they found and started to attend a very actively growing and friendly church. In the lives of my brothers and myself, that church and the determination that my mother and father had to change their lives for the better, created a paradigm shift within our family, one that would change the course of who and how my brothers and I grew up. Certainly, we were not perfect, we made our share of mistakes and got ourselves into plenty of trouble, and still do on occasion. However we all grew up to find success; success in business, success in marriage, and success with our families and children. How can you look at that outcome and not realize that mom and dad had really figured out something big?

     You may find yourself being that person who needs to do the changing, or you may be the one hoping to live through something horrible and are simply trying to survive. I encourage you to find something positive and real, not fantasy or a temporary fix, to put in your field of emotional and spiritual vision. Try not to focus too much on what is painful or wrong in your life; instead, seek out the One who made every part of you. The creator of who and how you are. It may seem overly simple, but God does have a plan for you, and it isn't being abused or abusing others, or yourself. I don't want to talk specifics about steps to success here, there are plenty of groups and organizations out there that do that. I am talking to you directly and saying, we all have our life moments when we have to rise above the noise that is the evil and sorrow of this world. My point here is simply to reaffirm to you that it is possible to overcome such adversities. Regardless of the method that you choose to make change happen, be encouraged that success is within your grasp. Remember that you may not be able to change your past, but you can decide that your future will be different. You choose each pathway in your life, and how you choose will determine not only your destination but the legacy you leave when you're gone.

     There are so many self-help books out there, and slickly advertised plans that are guaranteed to "fix" your life and make you happy, it boggles the mind to think about the money we all spend, trying to find that permanent fix to our addictions, depression or failed marriages. But it's like someone who's trying to quit smoking. They can chew the special gum, get hypnotized, wear a hidden patch, or go to meetings with other smokers that all talk about quitting in-between "smoke" breaks, but until they decide to quit, until that, "I'm quitting right now" moment comes to them, most of these other answers will be short-lived and ineffective. That said, let's look at our own lives, the real picture of it, not the mask we wear in public, at church or to work. Maybe you always feel overwhelmed with mountains of depression or an addiction that controls your every train of thought; In the quiet of your own heart, and without the distractions of your life crowding inward, ask yourself for an honest answer to this question, do you really want to make a change? Is it time for a paradigm shift in your life? If so, then now may just be your time to put your mind, heart, and soul at work together toward a common goal, to make the things you need to change in your life, become reality.

  Start by seeking God. Have a conversation with Him, and be honest. Pray for strength and wisdom to identify the habits and the people in your life that need to change, or completely be rid of. Sometimes we hang on to people and things that just remind us of where we have failed. Choose those whom you can talk to, and don't just dump on them, listen; and be open to the thinking that you can change. To be clear, I am not saying that everything or anything is your fault. Change sometimes means that we are giving others too much responsibility in our lives. There are far too many avenues to explore here to usher in a new you in this short message, but if I can keep it simple and just say, God understands who you are. He knows your habits, and how hard it is to put them down. All He asks of you is to try. To seek help where it can do you good. Find friends and a church that makes a difference in your life, one where you are moved to stretch your spiritual legs and grow. Real followers of Christ, Christians, are still at best, sinners. So don't put anyone on a pedestal. Live in His grace, it is free, and it's the only secure path to finding peace. Learn to love yourself in spite of what you see in the mirror of your memories. God's forgiveness is fathomless, that means as far as it is from the earth to the sky, and then a thousand times more, He has forgotten your failures. Choose to end your addictions, abuses and bad habits and give them over to His love and grace. That probably will not be an easy thing, it usually isn't, but it is a worthwhile endeavor. You and your family can start today on your path of deliverance from whatever separates you from the perfect path God has chosen for you. Do not give up when you fail. The disciples failed, lied and hid-out to save themselves during their painful learning process, and God picked them up, dusted them off and helped them to become more than they could ever dream. You can live a life of purpose, overcome your past and its hold on you, but the first step is yours, you have to seek God and accept the grace and love that He will pour out on you. It's not easy, I know all to well the trap of fear and complacency when it comes to change, but the joy and freedom that will come from winning this battle, and the story you will have to share with others that suffer from the same trials you have won victory over, will shine the light of glorious transformation over your life, and prove beyond a doubt, that God is a God of renewal and revision for the beggar standing at the doorway of grace.

Now You See It..

       Most famous illusionists have a great way of making things appear and disappear with  flare for the dramatic. The better the illusionist, the more you believe it was some form of supernatural power that was used to make it happen. From Lance Burton and Penn and Teller, to David Copperfield and Criss Angel, some of these master craftsmen can deceive you right in front of your eyes. It's now you see it, and a blink later, now you don’t, gone. I've known a lot of people that were great at being ‘illusionists’ with their life as well. They always seem to have a way of making their problems disappear. You know those people too, I’m sure; they get into situations that are sure trouble for the rest of us. They cheat, lie, steal, rob, and pillage only to get away free and clear on some technicality or oversight. Somehow they make money, or reap fame from their grand and dishonest display of 'magic'.
  As a kid growing up, there were always a few in school, who would be the ones making the noise or throwing something in class. About the time that I thought it looked like a fun adventure, or I just wanted a piece of the action, that’s when the teacher would catch on, and turn around. Guess who always got caught? Just like in sports, when the second guy into the fight is always the one that gets caught and penalized, I was singled out as the perpetrator of all of the monkey-business. The grand illusionist never seem to be the one that got the blame.
  In all of this there are a few lessons to be learned and I wish I had a few years earlier than I did. It seems that I’m a slow learner when it comes to these kinds of life lessons, and I only recently thought about why. Being the youngest of four boys could have had something to do with it, I was always competing for attention. In our house, humor was appreciated perhaps a little more than most. I have no scientific reason to say that, but starting with Dad, we were all cut-ups, and enjoyed making each other laugh. Looking back, I think that fed into my personality and my desire to see people act happy, or maybe really be happy having a laugh.
  Not too long ago, I was saddened by the passing of a great illusionist in the field of comedy. Robin Williams took his own life after years of depression, and addictions. He had discovered that he had a disease that would soon leave him unable to be himself, unable to counter his own sadness by making people laugh with him, and at him. What a terrible suffering it is to value laughter so much, but have so little of it in your own heart. Robin spent his life in the pursuit of making others happy, but never really seemed to find the permanent internal contentment that could reside within his spirit. I hope that through my life’s lessons, and learning from some unfortunate mistakes and poor decisions, that we can find some simple answers together here. The first real truth that stands out to me is that no one else can make you happy. Not a new girlfriend or boyfriend, not having children, not a new job or lots of money; No ladies, not even shopping for shoes. None of these outward things can genuinely and permanently make you happy, especially if you don’t know how to find your own happiness on the inside.
  It always seemed to me that I should automatically know what would make me happy. That it shouldn't be a mystery, but for most of us, I think it is. There are a few people I know that seem to be genuinely happy and whole people. There are certainly many who are trying to fool us all every day. The illusionists of life, wandering through every day like Robin Williams did, looking for a way to change how they feel, by affecting the lives of others. Looking for their own happiness through people and things of popular desire. One sure life lesson I have discovered over the years, people will always disappoint you. Not that all of them try to do it on purpose, there are kind  and caring ones who would never purposely hurt you, but we all fall short, right? In Romans 3:23 it assures us of this fact. All of us fall short of the perfection that is God’s plan for us. Without a pursuit in Him, we cannot trust in anything to be good, true or consistently positive.
  So what does that tell us about finding our inner happiness? Where should we be looking to assure ourselves that we won’t end up depressed and wallowing in self-doubt or regret? Seeking God of course, I told you it was a simple answer. It’s just not a simple task to carry out. I know that we all struggle with the enticement of this world. Things that make us happy for a moment or that take away the bad feelings that come with stress or loss. Those kinds of temporary material answers aren’t truly helping on the inside though are they? It’s like the stage of the illusionist, set to deceive the crowd into believing that what they see is really a feat of supernatural intervention. Just like sleight of hand though, when you realize it’s a trick and not genuine, the magic feeling is not only gone, but you feel worse for having been tricked. The same is true of false happiness, when you seek it in places that aren’t constant and stable, you will be worse than when you started as soon as reality and your real world returns.
  I don’t pretend to say that there is any quick or easy way to solve this life riddle. But there is One who promises us that through His grace, we are forgiven, and through His sacrifice, we can call on God without the fear of failure tied around our neck. We don’t have to put on a good show, or impress others with our fake smiles or success at the cost of our families. There is nothing we can do to earn it, or buy our way in. That’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t know how or want to chance my happiness on my ability to reach some spectacular goal that would “get me in”. It would just end up being another sleight of hand, an illusion; you and I would end up in the same place we started out, faking it.
  The good news that many of us miss about life is that happiness can’t be bought or earned. It can be given though, just not by you and I here on this imperfect world. Start your search over, and this time put your interest and faith in something far more tangent than an illusion. God’s love is proven, it’s perfection, and it can definitely be the answer to what makes us happy on the inside. If we can realize and know that He loves us, and that all that is asked of us is that we live our lives seeking to love Him and serve others as ourselves at the banquet table of His grace and mercy, then I know that piece by piece, our lives will be filled up from the inside out, with a real love that cannot be faked or made to vanish. Illusions in life do not end well, or lead to happiness. Just like those kids you and I knew growing up, those people eventually get found out and exposed for what they are, shallow fakes. In the long run, we all need something real, and constant to be happy. Fill your life from the inside out, with the truth that God has given to you at a great personal cost to Him. Don’t make your path through life a delusion, it’s far too short of a journey to live a lie. Nothing in His plan for you will leave you empty or feeling short-changed. Your life, it’s purpose and your overall happiness, will be far more than an illusion, it will be openly genuine and consistently content. No one is happy all the time, every life has it’s share of sadness and despair, so don’t set yourself up for disappointment by thinking that you can be ‘happy all the day’. We can all know the real and genuine love and grace of being God’s child. His desire is to fill us with joy, real joy, not the illusion of something that we think will make us happy. That’s our choice, having joy on the inside, and being willing to have faith and know that every day, He will continue to give us that inner contentment and peace, again and again. That's real life, without a magic wand.
     Blessing to you all- Randy

Romans 3:23

Who Will Go

     Recently, a mentor of mine reminded me that it is not always the perfect and skillfully educated people that do the leading and discovering. More often than not, it’s the willing and even more importantly, the available, that fill those shoes. Those who talk without polish in their words, or lead without knowing the odds. Stepping out into a leadership role can be scary, and if it doesn’t scare you, you probably aren’t a good one. There were many reluctant leaders in the Bible. Moses and Jonah found out that even if you fight against God’s will, He sometimes has already laid the groundwork to use you, and no matter how hard you fight, God will find a way to put you where He wants you.
      Let’s just look at Jonah for a minute, Jonah was not ungodly. He knew God, and I think he probably thought of himself as a good person. Certainly God thought that he had something usable to reach the people of Nineveh. But for several reasons, Jonah was scared. He ran the complete and opposite direction from where God wanted him to be. Boarding a ship to sail away into the sunset, God put into motion a set of circumstances that would eventually find Jonah thrown overboard by the captain and crew. A bit extreme if you stop to think about it; yet no sooner than they had disposed of Jonah, the sea became more calm, and they were saved. They obviously made the right choice.
     Jonah on the other hand, had started out with some very bad decisions. I have a question for you though, after telling the crew of the boat the truth and coming clean about what he had done, did his life get better? I would say spending days alive, inside of a fish qualify as things only got worse for him. After some time, Jonah arrive where God had intended, and with an even more fascinating story with which to reach and hold the attention of the people of Nineveh. I’m sure he looked the part as well, haggled, worn, and in general a real mess.
      It seems that this story could be told about each one of us doesn't it? Of course you may never be thrown overboard from a ship, or swallowed by a fish, but don’t you feel like you have been on some days. I sure do. It doesn’t even necessarily come from directly going against God’s call, sometimes it’s just our stubborn resistance to follow His direction in our lives. We want something so bad, that we do it even knowing God wouldn’t approve. I’ve made decisions that way, and I am sure that you have too. Some are of lesser consequence, and then there some that really get us thrown overboard.
     The mindset that I usually find myself in when I feel God’s leading is this; I’m not qualified to do what I feel God is calling me toward. Either because I resisted so long to do it, or because I feel like I lack the education, experience or the skill to do it. I talk myself out of even considering it. I board my ship, and sail as fast as I can in the other direction. Not that I am, or ever have been, called to preach and save an entire region as Jonah was, but you have to understand that God isn’t always looking for that. He calls each of us to serve and believe it or not, most times the people and places He is calling us to are right where we are. Family, neighbors, friends, co-workers. Not everyone is an overseas missionary, in fact those are the rarest of people He calls.
     I am sure that you are thinking of someone or something that God has nudged you about in the past, or may be currently filling your heart with thoughts of, “this is for you”. Mine have changed over the years. Yours may too. I didn’t feel all that qualified for most of them either, but each time that I have been spit out by the fish that rescued me from running away from God’s plan, wonderful things have happened. I’ve met new people, some are affected by the stories or music that I have to share. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses my regular life of trial and error, and non-super powers effort, to create an outcome of beauty that glorifies Him. That’s His grace in my life; not only has He forgiven me, but He allows me to help others through sharing my journey and life lessons with others that are going through similar times. This is the true intention for fellowship.
     I’m not going to tell you that it isn’t a little scary at times. Okay, sometimes a lot scary. I think, “what if I am a complete failure”. If you feel that way too, remember this, you are following a path that God has led you to. If you have been obedient and prayed about it, asked mentors what they think, prayed some more, and you all agree that you should go forward with it, then you’re doing the right thing. Just remember, sometimes success can be in disguise. God’s plans can be far down the road, and though you and I may see what we did as a flop, it may be a foundation for what someone else comes to finish. Don’t judge your results by yourself; let God do that. Then listen to family and have good accountable mentors that can help you gauge if you are really being effective.. Don’t be afraid to say, I have finished this calling, or God has given me a new plan of action, and it’s time to move on. If I had not done that, you would never have read this message.
     The answer to who will go is simple, those that are willing to try. It’s not a pastor's job to reach everyone with God’s message. They can’t go to your work or school, and they certainly don't have your life stories of forgiveness and mercy to share and use to relate to others; You and I are called to go. We must, especially if you know God is calling you to a specific place or group of people. The alternative of sailing away in defiance in your own direction, well, we all know how that ended up for Jonah. Unless you are feeling short of trials and failures in your own life to share, I suggest we try His way the first time for once. Maybe you’ve done it your way for a while now, and you are not sure how to change. That is the single biggest obstacle for me to be sure, change. We can all do it differently as we take a step out in faith to follow our path. Believe in what God is calling you to do, seek His guidance. It isn’t easy, but it’s never too late to change. Finding your way to tell others about how your journey led to a "boat ride" of running away, or being swallowed by a big fish called failure; being used by God to help someone else in need, through our scars, that my friend is what grace is all about.

Jonah 1, 2, & 3
(also inspired by the passion and ministry of Pastor Terry Schneider

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)