ONE...

Loneliness to Friendship

   We often talk about the meaning of the word ‘one’ in our churches today. Worshipping for an audience of one. Being ‘one’ with God. In the secular world, we tell people to be one with nature or get one-on-one with a task or important person. It seems we as a people and society put a lot of importance on being singularly good at who we are, or is it being good at who we want people to think that we are? Certainly, being independent is a good trait to aspire to, it has its upside when it comes to being successful in life. My regular career has always been centered around a job requiring a great deal of individual thinking, and self-motivation. So, I concede up front that it’s not a bad thing to be self-sufficient. It can, in fact, save your life.

   The idea that I want to explore here is where do you go, what do you do, when your individual, self-created plans and ideas run into roadblocks? When you come against walls in life or obstacles so huge that you feel overwhelmed or defeated before you ever start your day. Maybe today, you could barely get out of bed because depression weighed you down from the moment that you opened your eyes. It could be that life-shattering news about your health or the health of a loved one has beaten you up, and you feel as though life is not bearable or even worthwhile. There are millions of reasons to be in that place in your life today. Bad life choices can put you in ugly financial wreckage, or personally in an emotional prison. Or, you could just be living the life of Job. Where do you find yourself in this story of one?

   Sometimes in our life, we feel like we're a single entity against the world. Like it's us against them. I think back to all the friends that my father had in his lifetime, and how he kept many of those same friends until his dying day. After he retired, he used to go and have coffee with them. They would sit together at a local fast food restaurant and buy ten-cent coffees and apple pies and then talk about all of the world issues and of course grandkids. One day, they decided to come to my house to work on a plugged sewer line. Arriving home at dusk and after a long day at work, I found three or four of these old guys at my house. All of them were in their 70s or 80s, working away digging up the front yard doing their best to suggest the proper repairs for my house’s plumbing issues. It was a thing of friendship beauty. These gentlemen were mostly World War 2 era men; the “let's get it fixed” crowd of people that never stopped to ask if it would be hard or difficult, they just got involved. They made a plan, rolled up their sleeves, worked hard with the knowledge that they had as men of hard knocks and life lessons, then they fixed the problem. Funny thing, I had come home thinking that I would have to work several nights to resolve this problem, their gift to me was that they had resolved most of it for me. What a gift it was too, not so much the actual repairs, but knowing that they would give of their energy and time, to help me and my family for no real reason at all except compassion and charity. I am still amazed by their actions today. Several of them only lived a short time after that day, my dad included, but they taught me so much through their actions.

   You see, each of these men, as individuals could not have helped me resolve my plumbing problems, the harshness of the digging and working underground on that old pipeline, would have overtaxed any one of them individually; however they were not working alone, and that was the lesson that is, to this day, not lost on me. The ability to come together to take care of the needs of one with the strength of many, that was their greatest asset and their path to success. It seems there may be much more here than the obvious though, so let’s look deeper together.

   We’ve discussed the obstacles and trials of life as causing us to feel alone and beaten, so how can we combat it? There are many others that seemed alone but were part of the bigger plans of God. Obviously, Jonah, whom I have written about before. His plans were so opposite from Gods, that he boarded a boat sailing in the other direction to get away from God. Gods plan and the actions of unaware bystanders brought him back to fulfill his destiny. Moses was left to die in the desert, alone. This young man was raised with everything. His family was rich, he had power beyond anything most of us can imagine, yet his story in God’s plan left him alone and defeated. I often wonder how long Moses wandered without knowing if he might live. Don’t you think that he was convinced many times that he would die in that desert? In time, God brings him to a place where Moses understands and realizes the big picture; even then, there are supporting friends and loved ones that fill in where Moses falls short.

   You see, the friends of my dad, the old guys who worked together to fix my house’s plumbing issue, they knew the power of coming together, to labor and toil with a common goal. It made their friendship stronger and brought them pleasure through the accomplishment and success of their deed. This is the basis for community and building blocks of the church. That feeling is something I find lacking on many days in my life, the camaraderie of friends who will step in to “do” life together; and sadly, it is the downfall of many churches were they talk about it but rarely carry it out, holding hands with the dying, taking food to the sick, it’s more than thoughts and prayers, it’s actions to provide help to someone that needs it. It’s taking the time to go to someone’s house even without them asking and fixing a plumbing problem. Almost daily I think of how I have arrived at the place in life, where knowing friends like my dad had, is a rarity and painfully absent in my life, maybe it is the same for you.

   In Ecclesiastes 4, verse 9 there is a rather famous line of the Bible, and the Amplified version says it something like this, “two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” It certainly isn’t easy, this idea of finding a like-minded partner to help you carry the load; after all, people fail, they lie, and they betray. So where is the middle of that proverbial road? And how do you and I find that elusive friendship if we’ve already lost faith and sight of it in our lives?

   I believe there are a few things that can prepare and guide us toward this rewarding relationship if we work at it, perhaps together, you an I can give these a try. First, examine your relationship with God. Sometimes we don’t know why He tolerates us at all. We fail, we fall short of being “good people”, we have bad habits, the list goes on and on. Remember, Jesus called out to his disciples while they were still fishermen and tax collectors. They weren’t rabbis from the local seminary, they were failed sinners, far from perfect, and they continued to fail even while following Jesus. They didn’t understand, they lied to protect themselves, they were violent, yet they still went on being used by God. Find your place and talk to God about who He wants you to be.

   Second, we must seek the right kind of friends. Those who keep us accountable to what is important to our goals and what God is calling us to be and do. People that always tell you that you’re great, when you’re not, may build you up in a way that makes you believe in something false. Believe me, that isn’t helping you. We need honest people around us that can help us grow, be there when we stumble, love us when we’re dirty from sin, and help us up when we fall. Those people are usually just like us, friends that have been there, done that. That’s why they know you need help. Value these people and make them your friends, protect these alignments because really good ones are hard to find. Don’t kid yourself here, good friends are not easily found or kept, they are a precious commodity.

   Third, well I really don’t’ have a “third”. It really comes down to this, when your relationship with God is good, your relationship with others can be good as well. If you are estranged or absent with God, you will never find peace or alignment with the type of friends we’ve been talking about, I am quite sure of that. My dad had those friends because he lived an honest, respected life. He said what he meant and meant what he said.

To most of those guys, his faith in God wasn’t what they respected most about him, but because of his faith in God, he lived in a way that they could not help but respect.

   Do you see how that works? He lived his faith and told his story in a way that made him easy to have as a friend. He was trustworthy, he was kind and positive. He was faithful and patient. The reason he could exhibit these traits was that he worked at keeping his relationship right with God. He would be the first to tell you if he were here, that he was so very far from perfect. I saw that distance myself on a few occasions. The answer though, is that he kept trying. He kept allowing God to work in and through his life.

   Where are you today in that walk? Are you on a path toward God or away from him? Do you try to avoid Him when He speaks to you or do you listen even if it’s after you have to hear it a couple of times? I can tell you where I am, I’ve been standing still listening. Like being in a vast wasteland or dense forest, sometimes it’s hard to find your way. I think I have walked a little in each direction, towards Him and away, we all do that from time to time. But if you want to stop being lonely, if you seek those friends that can help you up after you fall, as I do, then we all need to walk with purpose toward God, and a little less self-condemnation and excuses about how we’re not worthy or we’ve gone too far the other way. Jesus made you and I worthy to walk towards the throne of God, what we have to do now is be willing to accept that we can, that He welcomes us, and is ready for us to be at His table. When we do that, we are no longer only ‘One’, we’re mishpachah, home with family.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 (AMP)

"Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified^® Bible (AMP),
Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation
Used by permission. www.Lockman.org"

Forever..

Let’s talk about us for a minute…

                I am sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘nothing lasts forever’. The longer I’m here on this merry-go-round of life, the more I realize how true that statement is. Lately, I have been reflecting on life and my place in it; the things that seem to matter the most here in this world, are the hardest to hold onto. Children grow up, jobs come and go, friends come into your life and fade from view. What makes me “me”, seems to be harder to define with each passing day, certainly a little more with every personal and major life event. The things that used to be low on my list of importance, now occupy hours of my time, which I lose track of more and more with ease. When my wife and I were first married, we had priorities that focused on who we were, and what we enjoyed. As all of you know life happens, and in our case, a family takes form in the way of children, and in the span of what seems like moments, our priorities and our hobbies suddenly revolve around them. In most cases, that’s not a bad thing. We need to be attentive to our family and children, the time is well spent, and I never regret being with mine for fun adventures and just being a family.

          For a few minutes though, let’s talk about what happens to us personally when we don’t keep a part of ourselves focused on who we are, our passions and purpose in life. You can have your kids as a passion and certainly, they can give you purpose, but what happens to the rest of your story. In my case, I used to have a specific personal direction in my life, one that I could define and knew well; perhaps you did too, or still do. But if we lose sight of that on the inside, it can affect how we act on the outside, and certainly it can or will eventually cripple our ability to find joy with our family and others because we have lost ourselves in the drive to fulfill the passions and purposes of everyone but who you are on the inside.

Here is one thought that I commonly find in my random personal fear file, ‘how will I ever live in this house without kids running around in it?’ Even with a wonderful wife in my life, whom I feel closer to every day, I fear loneliness. It’s like a hungry animal waiting for its next meal, and I’m their prey. I try to hide from it, but I’m terrified of being exposed, I run from one comfort replacing idea to the next. No amount of “things” can bring me peace. However, looking back to when my dad was alive, I realize that he was my ‘peacemaker’. I always felt safe around him. I suppose him being gone now, leaves me feeling more revealed than I imagined possible, more unsure of how to process happiness. He was indeed my hero and mentor; now the question is, how do I pass that on? Sometimes we think of how things could have been in our lives, instead of how they really are. One thing my dad said to me time and time again, “be happy with today, right where you are”. And he was good at that. But how…

How do we relate that positive philosophy to our living with changing priorities and losing sight of our personal direction and purpose in life? It seems to me that many of our major life events make and mold how we see ourselves, how we value ourselves. No doubt that we have each enjoyed many happy moments and periods of time in our life where we were happy and living the fun and fulfilling dream that you envisioned for yourself and possibly your family. But those painful times, they find every one of us. Whether it’s illness or tragedy, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, or divorce; the list is long and depressing. It’s hard to plan for fun or experience happy adventures when all your life’s valuables are seemingly falling in ruin at your feet.

 I believe that it's during these times that most of us allow the internal drive and purpose of our lives to become altered. Where the vision for our happiness becomes skewed or blurred, or maybe even completely blocked out by the hurt of an illness or the depression of a sudden loss. It’s during these times that the second part of what my dad used to say to me comes into play. He would ask, “what are you doing that for?” In other words, is this your passion or someone else’s? I will take that question one step further here in our thoughts together and ask, ‘who... are you doing that for?’ ‘Who do you wrap your life’s purpose around?’ The answer to that might shed some light on the reason behind our sudden and sometimes debilitating internal struggles with our life’s purpose and the fears of failure and loneliness. What or who is at the focus of your life? And when these hard times come to us, and truly they will come to us all eventually, then what is the foundational center of your life? Certainly, don’t spend all your time looking too far ahead to see your path change, and don’t fall into the trap of constantly looking back into your past. It takes a lot of effort to focus on today, regardless of our feelings, and see the good in a bad day, a bad month or year.

You see, how you live on the outside, depends largely on how you live on the inside. And your belief that you are a valuable asset to God’s plan during and after your trials, will hinge on whether you live with Him at your center to start with. You and I may not always know our purpose in this life to the exact measure He intends to use it, and our direction will certainly alter course over the years. Remember that most things of value require refinement of some type. In John 12: 24-25 the message of the Bible goes something like this. Until a seed of grain is buried out of sight and lifeless to this world, it cannot grow, it’s just a seed. In fact, it is only after the seed is left underground and experiences the trial of darkness that the miracle of change begins. Eventually growing into a plant fully capable of producing new seeds for many new plants to grow. It continues the lesson with these words to us. Like a seed, if we hold on to our lives so tightly as to prevent change, you will die. The seed will eventually become inert. But if you let go of your fear, and love God with careless abandon, then you will know real love, real grace, and fulfilling purpose, forever.

We are the seeds of God’s kingdom, and yes, we go through all sorts of trials that test our resolve and faith in Him, and each other. This lesson was taught by Jesus just days before His crucifixion. His reminder that through our struggles and heartache, we become more and more valuable to His work here amongst our families and friends. It is the center of our life, the question that I asked you earlier, ‘who… do you do life for’? Though we all fail, if you will put God at the center of your life, your foundation will not move. Your purpose will be steady and fulfilling through all your trials. Today this message is mine as well as yours, I struggle. I hope that together we can remember that struggle is part of sprouting into something new. It’s part of growing and reproducing, but what are we reproducing? Is it worthy of your life’s work? An example being passed down from us to the next seed? Think about that, because your life will leave a legacy somewhere, in someone.

Some of you may not yet have taken that step to trust in a God that you can’t see or touch. After all, the rest of the world tells you that He does not exist, that it’s all just legends and stories told to make us feel better and safe. I won’t debate you on the reality or proof of God, I’ll only tell you that I believe. I felt it inside myself many years ago, as I believe you do too, I knew that I needed Him. It isn’t complicated to stop and tell Him that you want Him in your life. Just talk, God will listen. And though I am not worthy to be His messenger, I pray my legacy and offspring are many who continue to look to God, even in times of darkness. When the light is not seen, and when we feel as though the world has left us for dead and considers us useless; when our priorities and personal direction is in turmoil, I pray that you and I will seek the center of our lives in the presence of a loving Father, whose number one ambition is to show us love and grace. That should be our focus and our gift to those who come after us - today, and forever.

John 12: 24-25

Can I Have a Glass of Water..

     As young children, from the darkness of our sequester of bedtime, it rises from our racing and fearfully busy minds; from a mere idea to the quiet unheard words slipping through our lips. No answer, we raise our call another level of urgency, a little louder. Again with a cough and a clearing throat, we call out to our parents, "daddy, mommy, can I have a glass of water?" Is it that we are really thirsty, or do we fear the loneliness and dark seclusion? For me, it was one more chance to hear the voice of my mother or father saying, "it's okay, don't be afraid". I always took a drink, waited for another hug, and slipped away peacefully into my dreams. It never seemed too late or too much of a bother, for them to assure me that they were still there, that everything was okay, and that I was safe in their care. There are times in the darkness of my life, and the desperation of the hour, that I call out to God, just like the younger me did for that last cup of water at night. That last chance to know that everything would be alright. Our God hears your prayer, no matter the hour. No matter how desperate.

   Fear is something that we feel from a very early stage in our life. It can be severe enough to cripple our sense of adventure and stunt the natural quest for excitement, or it can be just enough to keep us honest and respectful of the power and dangers of life in general. Fear from the unknown can be hard to overcome; then there is just plain being scared. We have all been scared of one thing or another. Failure at school or at work, failure to have courage enough to ask that special someone to dance, failure to be a successful parent or spouse. Fear can keep us from failure, it can also most certainly keep us from trying.
   As a young child, we call out to our parents from our bed, "can I have a glass of water?" I know that I did this quite often. So much so that my mom started sending me to bed with a small glass of water, just in case, (something that I continue to this day). I am not so sure that I was really all that thirsty, I was afraid. The fear of the dark, and being alone gripped me beyond my ability to manage with counting sheep. It was the comfort of hearing her voice and seeing her face, that put my fears to rest. Sometimes she would sit there by my bedside, turn off the light, and tell me, "close your eyes and go to sleep, I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of". I can still remember her touching my forehead to comb back my hair, and whispering "goodnight".  I seemed to always find rest in that, no matter how fierce the monsters were.

     Is it 2 am in your life? Does the world around you seem a dark and lonely place? A place where you have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. The pressures of life, in general, have become your monsters under the bed. The addictions that you hide have transformed into your most feared "boogieman".

Fear becomes failure when we lose hope in ever finding redemption or a way out of where we have put ourselves in life. 

When we look around and see nothing but darkness in our surroundings, then the fear of the dark itself becomes a very real adversary.

     In Deuteronomy 31 verse 6, Moses is preparing to hand over the leadership role to Joshua. After decades of miracles and wandering through the desert, victories of just keeping that many people fed and alive, he was getting ready to die. I am sure many feared what life would be like without Moses, a legislator and judge of sorts, but no doubt also a fierce leader and someone whom they trusted with their safety and their family's future. In their time of fear he spoke words that said, be strong and be brave, don't let others push you around. Don't give that a second thought, because God, our God of deliverance, walks ahead of your path. He takes every step with you,  He will not fail you and He will never leave you. What a morale boost Moses gave to his new leaders, and the entire group of followers. Just like my mother, encouraging me to close my eyes, that everything was okay because she was on duty. God reminded them through Moses that He was still with them, that they were strong and blessed, and that He would never leave them. Likewise, He is telling each one of us that same thing today. He is there in our darkness, watching over us. When we call to Him, He brings our "water" and listens to our ramblings about monsters under the bed, or in our closet. He walks our path in front of us, like a good parent would, to be nearby when, not if, we need His help.

     In the past few years, I have lost both of my parents. My dad several years ago, and my mom just recently. I had great parents, they were not perfect, but the type that was supportive, and always wanting me to earn what I had.  I can honestly say that there is a fear, a finality if you will, that those persons that held such unconditional love for me are now not around anymore. The two people that I knew would always keep my best interests in mind, aren't here to call about my problems and concerns. I know what the people felt like when they heard that Moses was not coming with them into the promised land. Depressed, afraid, lost. It might be that you too are feeling those kinds of emotions inside yourself at this moment. Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a parent, spouse or precious child; it is a fear and sadness more gripping than we can describe, with a depth like an abyss. Possibly for you, it is a financial train wreck costing you everything, or just a general sense about yourself that you are not worth the trouble to save.

     As ragamuffins, we all have those fears. Worthlessness, anger, being scared and feeling spiritually destitute and completely alone. There is One who gave everything He had to get to know you. Who decided long ago that you were worth everything, and that you should never be alone. I would remind you to call out to God for Him to come and sit with you for a while. Just like my mom used to do for me when I was so afraid of the dark, Jesus is waiting and ready to be with you through your brokenness and life struggle. His water will do more than quench a mild thirst, the living water of Jesus can change your night into day and can turn your mourning into dancing. Trust that He is there, call His name, and the glass of water that you receive will never run dry.

Gloriously Gifted

I could use countless illustrations to compare ordinary people to each other. Colors of hair, skin, or even clothes are all differences that set us apart. However, our similarities far outweigh those differences, bodies of one over-all race, human. For now, I want to compare the makeup of the church body to our human bodies. If you aren't even sure about all of this talk of Jesus, and "being saved", lend me your ear for just a few more moments, what I am about to say isn't just for the churchy people. It's about our importance and self-worth in a world that takes no prisoners when it comes to low self esteem or braggadocios, better-than-thou behavior. Both extremes are dangerous, depressing, and far from your real purpose in life.
Equality and tolerance, we hear these words a lot these days, and more often than not, in a description of how someone is not acting, rather than how they are. Why is it that we, as a race of somewhat intellectually developed beings, can't treat each other with consistent mercy and grace, while respecting our differences? Prepare yourself for a sophisticated and highly controversial proverb, because no one is perfect! I know, disappointing isn't it? The worlds problems cannot really be that simple can they?
When you mix together millions of imperfect people from varying backgrounds, stir in a few different religions, and then separate them in geographic areas that create very opposing societies, you end up with power struggles, greed, enslavement, poverty, class warfare, property disputes. This list is as long as it's peoples heritage. The people of earth are, at their core, very flawed. We want what others have, take what is not ours, devalue our own worth, and shame others for things in their lives more public than our own.
Whether you are a mature Christian and life-long church-going Pharisee supreme, or just a struggling failed human of the doubting and fearful nature like most of us, let me illustrate how we overcome these ingrained tendencies, and why we need each other so much. If you take a look at your own body, a quick inventory will confirm that most of us are born with legs, arms, eyes, ears, a heart, lungs, liver and so on. If you are a great musician, then maybe your hands are very gifted at the keys of a piano, or the bow of a beautiful violin. Perhaps you're a fabulous track star or a football standout, and your legs are your winning quality. As a producer and sound engineer, my ears, and the knowledge of what I am hearing and how to manipulate sounds, makes my ears valuable to a great sound production.
Now lets take those thoughts and put them into this perspective, are any of those parts more important than the others? I'm sure that in dangerous situations, we would protect our gifted parts, appendages and organs; if you lost an arm, you could still live, but if you lost your liver you would need a replacement to be sure. The loss of a leg or a foot is devastating, but we can learn to live without it. If you lose your stomach or your lungs, your not going to survive without major intervention and replacements. What I am trying to point out here is this, all of these things are part of your body. Some look very important from the outside. Hands that make beautiful music, eyes that see the perfect colors of a landscape. But without the whole body, without your liver, heart, lungs and all of the other vital organs that work to keep you alive in quiet unison with the rest of your body, you not only could not function, you would be dead.
This is exactly how it is in the world of people. Some of us are called to be feet. In other words we go out into the world to do our work, which is sometimes our mission. Some of us are a mouth, we speak or teach about our passion. There are hands and arms to make music and learn skills, to do the things that need a personal and integrated touch. But then there are the people that are the heart; they supply the fire and passion to go and to build. The lungs, people that help us breath in the beauty all around us, that keep us human by taking the time to extract the oxygen of life into our system. All of us have a combined and purposeful life that is integrated with the lives of those around us. Knowing this, it is really ridiculous to think about how some people act, thinking of themselves as superior to those around them in some way, whether it's race, gender, or brains. Can a foot see the beauty of a sunset? Wouldn't the eyes do that job better? And a hand cannot convert your food into energy as your stomach and systems do.
Unfortunately, most of the world doesn't think that they need anyone beside themselves. The selfish nature of imperfect people is a hard habit to break. But even more disappointing is that our churches have invited in a model of judgement, one that says this kind of person is more valuable as a member than that kind of person. Or they elevate the gift of one person as more "mature in God" than another. I don't intend to argue which gifts are more valuable than others with you, besides, the non-Christians might still be reading along. All of us should look again at 1st Corinthians 12, and then ask ourselves if we still need to argue about this question at all. In this chapter, we find the author explaining where  gifts come from and who is behind the decision to give what to whom. Verse 4 explains that His varying gifts are handed out all over, but they all originate from God's spirit. God's ministries and displays of power are in obvious action around us every day, but God Himself is behind every single one. Each of us is given a tool or something to do, that shows others who God is. All of us, in amazing variety, is handed something by the spirit of God, to some it's wise counsel or clarity to understand life's issues. To others he hands the ability to heal the sick, or perform miracles, or perhaps just be a good listener, and a trusting ear. Still there are those who are gifted to proclaim God's messages, call out spirits, speak in tongues, and those that interpret those things as well. All of these are from God, but are gifted to us individually, by His will, so that we can use them to gloriously bring praise and acknowledgement to Him. If that is a little too religious sounding for you. it means that God grants us these individual gifts not to make us look good, but to serve others. Serve. The idea isn't to categorize them and decide which ones are better than others. No. It's pretty simple if you will check your ego at the door.
The gift God grants to you isn't about you. It's about making you something more than you were before you asked Him to help you grow, and change into a person more like Him. As ragamuffins, we have nothing that He could want when it comes to talents or things. What He wants is your willingness. Willingness to show others grace and love. Willingness to share your gift of leadership or healing. He wants to set you apart from who you were without Him.
Certainly I write to you not as a scholar or a PhD, not even a preaching pastor with a sizable church to prove my important status. But I write to us both, because God has called me to do it, and the gift that He has handed out to me asks me to bring others the healing and merciful good news that He knows our imperfections. He knows that you aren't always right, and that you have made some really dumb decisions in your life. You know what, so has everyone else. The hand and the foot have been wrong, just like the lungs, eyes and mouth. Our existence here starts out as one of failure and defeat, but as beggars often do, we have found a safe place to eat and to sleep. A place that gives us rest, and helps us to find footing again.
God knows and expects us to all be different. What a shame when we put others down for not meeting our expectations. He calls us to love every ragamuffin in His creation. Their choices and lifestyles may be different, and honestly, might even be offensive to us in some ways, but real judgement is the Lord's. I don't remember ever reading about God handing out the gift of judgement. But love, grace, forgiveness, respect, and mercy, those actions could change the world around us in profound ways. Every day, in our walk through this life, God asks from us, whom He calls His children, to display that which He has richly blessed us with. Each of us, are His gloriously gifted.

1st Corinthians 12  (Msg)

Who Will Go

     Recently, a mentor of mine reminded me that it is not always the perfect and skillfully educated people that do the leading and discovering. More often than not, it’s the willing and even more importantly, the available, that fill those shoes. Those who talk without polish in their words, or lead without knowing the odds. Stepping out into a leadership role can be scary, and if it doesn’t scare you, you probably aren’t a good one. There were many reluctant leaders in the Bible. Moses and Jonah found out that even if you fight against God’s will, He sometimes has already laid the groundwork to use you, and no matter how hard you fight, God will find a way to put you where He wants you.
      Let’s just look at Jonah for a minute, Jonah was not ungodly. He knew God, and I think he probably thought of himself as a good person. Certainly God thought that he had something usable to reach the people of Nineveh. But for several reasons, Jonah was scared. He ran the complete and opposite direction from where God wanted him to be. Boarding a ship to sail away into the sunset, God put into motion a set of circumstances that would eventually find Jonah thrown overboard by the captain and crew. A bit extreme if you stop to think about it; yet no sooner than they had disposed of Jonah, the sea became more calm, and they were saved. They obviously made the right choice.
     Jonah on the other hand, had started out with some very bad decisions. I have a question for you though, after telling the crew of the boat the truth and coming clean about what he had done, did his life get better? I would say spending days alive, inside of a fish qualify as things only got worse for him. After some time, Jonah arrive where God had intended, and with an even more fascinating story with which to reach and hold the attention of the people of Nineveh. I’m sure he looked the part as well, haggled, worn, and in general a real mess.
      It seems that this story could be told about each one of us doesn't it? Of course you may never be thrown overboard from a ship, or swallowed by a fish, but don’t you feel like you have been on some days. I sure do. It doesn’t even necessarily come from directly going against God’s call, sometimes it’s just our stubborn resistance to follow His direction in our lives. We want something so bad, that we do it even knowing God wouldn’t approve. I’ve made decisions that way, and I am sure that you have too. Some are of lesser consequence, and then there some that really get us thrown overboard.
     The mindset that I usually find myself in when I feel God’s leading is this; I’m not qualified to do what I feel God is calling me toward. Either because I resisted so long to do it, or because I feel like I lack the education, experience or the skill to do it. I talk myself out of even considering it. I board my ship, and sail as fast as I can in the other direction. Not that I am, or ever have been, called to preach and save an entire region as Jonah was, but you have to understand that God isn’t always looking for that. He calls each of us to serve and believe it or not, most times the people and places He is calling us to are right where we are. Family, neighbors, friends, co-workers. Not everyone is an overseas missionary, in fact those are the rarest of people He calls.
     I am sure that you are thinking of someone or something that God has nudged you about in the past, or may be currently filling your heart with thoughts of, “this is for you”. Mine have changed over the years. Yours may too. I didn’t feel all that qualified for most of them either, but each time that I have been spit out by the fish that rescued me from running away from God’s plan, wonderful things have happened. I’ve met new people, some are affected by the stories or music that I have to share. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses my regular life of trial and error, and non-super powers effort, to create an outcome of beauty that glorifies Him. That’s His grace in my life; not only has He forgiven me, but He allows me to help others through sharing my journey and life lessons with others that are going through similar times. This is the true intention for fellowship.
     I’m not going to tell you that it isn’t a little scary at times. Okay, sometimes a lot scary. I think, “what if I am a complete failure”. If you feel that way too, remember this, you are following a path that God has led you to. If you have been obedient and prayed about it, asked mentors what they think, prayed some more, and you all agree that you should go forward with it, then you’re doing the right thing. Just remember, sometimes success can be in disguise. God’s plans can be far down the road, and though you and I may see what we did as a flop, it may be a foundation for what someone else comes to finish. Don’t judge your results by yourself; let God do that. Then listen to family and have good accountable mentors that can help you gauge if you are really being effective.. Don’t be afraid to say, I have finished this calling, or God has given me a new plan of action, and it’s time to move on. If I had not done that, you would never have read this message.
     The answer to who will go is simple, those that are willing to try. It’s not a pastor's job to reach everyone with God’s message. They can’t go to your work or school, and they certainly don't have your life stories of forgiveness and mercy to share and use to relate to others; You and I are called to go. We must, especially if you know God is calling you to a specific place or group of people. The alternative of sailing away in defiance in your own direction, well, we all know how that ended up for Jonah. Unless you are feeling short of trials and failures in your own life to share, I suggest we try His way the first time for once. Maybe you’ve done it your way for a while now, and you are not sure how to change. That is the single biggest obstacle for me to be sure, change. We can all do it differently as we take a step out in faith to follow our path. Believe in what God is calling you to do, seek His guidance. It isn’t easy, but it’s never too late to change. Finding your way to tell others about how your journey led to a "boat ride" of running away, or being swallowed by a big fish called failure; being used by God to help someone else in need, through our scars, that my friend is what grace is all about.

Jonah 1, 2, & 3
(also inspired by the passion and ministry of Pastor Terry Schneider

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Foxhole Faith

     Everyone knows the saying, "there are no atheists in foxholes". Especially when you're in battle; under fire, about to be overrun, and feeling the 'end' is near. Impending defeat from a fierce enemy has a way of speeding up the soul searching that we do to find our purpose, our reason for living. Often that battlefield searching within ourselves reveals a need to believe in a power, an order, beyond what we see and know here in this world. The call goes out to God, save me, or take care of my family. In crisis mode, when things are as bad as the soldier thinks they can get, faith in God is natural, easy, and outright compulsory.

     In our desperate times, we too turn to God, whether it's to save us from something we've done to ourselves, or from what danger someone is about to impose on us. We shout to God when we think He has been unfair to you or subjected a loved one to an illness. Or when a family member or friend is taken to heaven. Even as believers, there are times that we do not seek God until we are frantic enough to admit that we cannot solve the problem on our own. Issues big and small, crisis that are life-threatening or not, each of us has a threshold, an ability to cope, that once reached forces us to seek a source of deliverance beyond ourselves.

Foxholes can hasten your belief in God,

they can even inspire you to reach out to Him for absolution.

But they can also be a great place to hide

     I see two kinds of Christians in foxholes. The new Christians, that just realized how much they need God and are accepting God's grace at light speed because of their immediate need. And the Christian that has known God's grace and forgiveness over and over. The tired and worn Christian, that obeys and takes up the arms of the battle only to find that they can't go on. Exhausted, used up, consumed and eaten alive by the "religious commandos" of the church Pharisee squad, they hide. They hunker-down and take cover, just in sight of grace, but not quite under its full power and forgiveness. Afraid to move, paralyzed by fear, shame, or the ridicule of others. This is a very scary place. To know that you need to move towards God, but not have the ability to move. To see the Savior at a distance, but not believe that He is here to care for you.

     Foxholes are also full of dead soldiers. Those that never found a way out. That didn't believe that they could be saved, or that God could forgive them. This is the condition that I seek to help you and I avoid. We all struggle with acceptance, and self-worth at some point. We think that we've fallen too far or done too many bad things. That we have already chosen our path, and it's too late to change it. The good news is that God doesn't give up on us when we fall. His love is unlike anything we experience here in this world, and his forgiveness stretches farther than you have ever been. Most of His chosen men fell upon doubt and disbelief when Jesus was crucified. As with us, they failed. But God had a plan for them, and though some of them hid in their foxholes waiting for the battle to calm down, grace came to them where they were. You see, those in the foxholes who die because they are too afraid or conditioned to believe that they can make it from where they are to where God is, fail to realize one thing.

Grace meets us where we are

     Scars, defeats, sickness, addictions and all, God sends the might of His generosity and compassion to our hiding place. It pierces the darkness of our lonely struggle to believe that we aren't alone in our foxhole. The truth is that He is as near as the air that we breathe. The deeper you dig, the harder it is to see out of your hole. Don't stop looking for God to answer your call. Don't ever stop. The good news I want you to know is this; He has already answered your call. Before you were in trouble. Before you knew that you needed Him, and before you were born into this world, He loved you and wanted you to know Him. Hiding in your foxhole or not, He has a purpose for your life, and He will meet you on your battlefield. You are the front line and the last line of God's enduring mission to reveal Himself to each of us, through good times and bad. Seen or unseen, He is within reach; do not lose faith. Close your eyes and touch the hem of His mercy and forgiveness as He answers your call, reach out and you will be renewed.

Giants

   Most likely we all know the story of David and Goliath. A young boy, not particularly large in stature, defeats the mightiest worrier of a fierce enemy. What David lacked in size, he made up for in faith. Some would say that the story of David against the giant is just that, a story. A parable, told to energize the masses, and motivate the outmatched armies throughout history. Regardless of what you believe, it is a story told of an undeniably courageous young man, whose faith in his God was stronger than his self doubt and fear. When everyone around him was at a loss for what to do, or where to run, he knew exactly who would give him the strength and wisdom to slay Goliath. For David, it was a life changing experience. His trust in God, brought out the real leader in him, and eventually lead to his procession to the throne.
    Every day, each of us battle against our own 'giant'. Illness, addiction, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, the list is endless, and the pain it represents is devastating. It's how we choose to address this giant of ours that sets us apart from the rest of the world. I usually choose to face my battles head on, but some of them you never see coming. Courage and faith can be powerful allies when you are at war with depression, indecision, or fear; when placed in the right hands they help us to rise above our weakness. God says he will never forget about us, that he will never leave us all alone, and always wants the best for us. With that in mind, those 'giants' don't seem as huge or indestructible, but they are still in our lives. God doesn't always remove our pain, or rescue us from the situation that we are in, but He does promise to help us in it, to carry us through it if necessary. I occasionally imagine that as we struggle with pain or loss, Jesus is right there crying with us tear for tear. Not that He is helpless like we think we are, but because He understands our sadness, and doubt, and He knows that grief and expressing those feelings, is part of the process of dealing with them.
     The good news is that we don't have to be frozen in place by life's anxieties, or crippled by fear of the unknown. David placed his trust in a God that he knew, without a doubt, had his back. He may not have known how he would be able to triumph against the bully, but he knew that God called him to try. In our lives, I think that's the important thought, God calls us to believe in Him, have faith, and try. It's not a guarantee that all your problems will go away, David's didn't. However faith does come with a promise that you are not alone in your trials, and a very loving friend in Jesus, the Son of God Himself, will be at your side for every step of of your journey.
     We will all face tests of our faith, and trials of suffering, grief or doubt; the question is, will you follow the example of a small boy serving God against the odds to conquer his battle, or will you go it all alone. Being a strong-willed child, I have attempted the "all alone" method many times, and I can tell you, it has never ended well. It usually ends up with me in a bigger mess than when I started, and I still need someones help to get out of it. Our life is full of times when we feel that our problems and situations are too big for us to deal with, and that is true. But as children of God we are not left to deal with anything on our own, and nothing is too big (or small) for God. All of our struggles, victories and failures, God uses to make us stronger. He molds us through each experience into to men and women that He wants us to be; someone that He can then use to bring someone else closer to Him. Take courage and have faith, when you are the most fearful and full of doubt, remember that God is just a prayer away to help you face your giant.

1 Samuel 17:45 (MES)
Randy

(revised 6-18-2016 - originally written: 2012)