Blind Spots

          Have you ever noticed that you do something and it doesn't turn out quite the way you planned? Perhaps you look back at your life and wish you had taken different roads than you did. Before you think I’m going somewhere real spiritual, hold on... I’ll call them ‘blind spots’. Places where you made a choice, but got a result or an answer that you didn't expect, or want. I know that you might be thinking, "wow he really has no idea “... Or maybe you think you don’t have any blind spots. Well I certainly do. I am not the sort of person that constantly lives life looking in my own personal rear view mirror to see where I was wrong and where I have been right. But those blind moments still remind me that in moments when my priorities get out of line with my morality, I suffer. And usually they remind me with a flare for vividness.

          I have recently come to recognize, that I am not who I think I am. Or, rather maybe it is that I need to stop trying to be the person others want me to become. How I have fallen into this pit, I don’t know. Not that I blame others for my choices, I made all of them without coercion. When did I become such a people pleaser that I can’t say no long enough to make time for my family? Many of you may know that I really enjoy traveling, and we try to RV from time to time, enjoying some history here, and some wonderfully beautiful scenery there. Lately it has been a long time in between trips. And not just because of a down turn in the economy, or a lack of money. I know how to plan cheap if I need to. Really, it has just been a lack of desire, or should I say effort. It seems I can help create blind spots for my life even without knowing it. Those can catch you napping and be right in your face before you know it. But the ones that seem to hurt the most are the blind spots that I knowingly create due to bad choices. You know the ones. It isn't right, and you know it isn't right, but its fun, or daring, or makes you look good, or cool, or important.
          Did you create your spot at someone else’s expense? Well I have, more than once. All that I can say is that it didn't feel as good or exciting as I thought it would. And if I had known the price, I hope that I would have made a different choice. I know all of us have second thoughts about ourselves and our decisions in life, and that's what I am writing about here. Where are your blind spots? I am only now starting to recognize a whole new area of them in my life. It seems they control more of what I do than I once thought. I hope by acknowledging them, it will be harder for them to control me.
          Maybe, you and I can start looking to resolve some of them.. I know that sounds good, but how do you really do it? In life sometimes you need a little push to do what is right. I got a new push recently. Actually it seemed more like a shove. Don’t wait for your shove, they can really hurt, and sometimes leave a mark. It is my mind that wants to run wild looking to impress and delight in things that can create blind spots and lead to the hurtful reality of an addiction, pride, or careless thinking. So how is it that we don’t let that happen? Well, I said that I wouldn't get all “spiritual” on you, but the fact is it takes a responsible attitude toward a “higher” power for you to realize that it isn't all about you. The way to prove that you aren't into life for just what you can get out of it is to love others.
          You might remember that I was just lamenting the fact that I already don’t take the time to be with and honor my own family regularly. There lies the real problem. I do my share of giving towards the benefit of others. But it isn't done with the right mindset. Do I just give freely, or am I trying to gain some acceptance through my giving? I know the answer to that question for me. Can you answer it for yourself? I hope you’ll take some time to examine your motives in life. Why do you do the things that you do? What outcome are you looking for? Whose acceptance are you trying to earn? Maybe if we both come up with our real answers to those questions, we’ll be able to avoid making new blind spots in our lives.
-Randy

(this re-posting is from 2009)