Solitude

     Having time alone, being by yourself can be a good thing. Sometimes we think better when we're not interrupted, or distracted by the noises that come with living a normal life. The extreme version of this solo lifestyle can be desolate and lonely. Movies often depict certain characters, thrust into living alone on deserted islands, talking to themselves, or inanimate objects to pass the time. In some ways, that can be the experience for a lot of us that are not actually alone on an island, but spiritually and emotionally feel alone in some part of our life. Whether you're a single person wondering if the "right" one will ever come along. Or your life in the church has left you feeling like an outsider because you don't have that "connection" or gift that everyone else seems to have. You may be a hard working person at a job that has given you very little inspiration or credit for how good you are at what you do. I am quite sure that I could keep on writing one scenario after another with this same theme appearing over an over, the question of being "alone", even when it's just a perception, not a physical fact. I certainly know some of these experiences on a very personal level. Hopefully, you don't feel perpetually stuck in one of them, because that is when the most damaging effects seem to occur. Those are the people that give up, and decide that life isn't worth living anymore.
     The good news is this, there is company for those lonely times. You and I do not have to face the desolate times alone. And no, they do not last a life time if we know where to look for the oasis. In fact, most people that have been lost and are successfully found do something proactive to make their-self visible to the searchers. In other words, would it make sense if you were lost to dig a hole, climb in and cover yourself up? Just sitting there hoping someone stumbled across your exact location so that you could be found.. Of course it wouldn't. But it has been my experience that when I felt alone, and lost emotionally, the thing that I most wanted to do was hide, and not be seen. To get further away from anything and anyone that might hurt me, or help me. I'm sure that I am not alone in that feeling. But looking at it right now, with the comparison of really being physically lost, and wanting to be found, doesn't our natural response leave little to no room for success? I hope this reaches you in a way that changes your perspective the next time that you have those feelings. That somewhere inside your heart, you realize that you really want to be found, and helped. But for that to happen, we cannot hide in our own desolation.
     In Isaiah 57, most versions of the Bible use the word contrite, meaning to be filled with guilt and remorse, longing for atonement. Atonement that comes through the forgiveness and grace of Jesus. But that verse says a lot more. It directly points toward an answer to what we've been discussing. In the Message of Isaiah 57: 15 it says, I am the God of Heaven. From the highest of heights, to lowest of all, the low in spirit, I put new spirit in them, and help them to stand up again. If you're looking to be found, or need a renewal in your body, mind or spirit, God himself says that He will do that for you. That he looks for the downtrodden and crushed in order to put new life into them. Does anyone else find that mind-blowing? God says when you are low, when you are in that desolate place of despair and personal destruction, He will put new life, and a new spirit into you. There is no reason to dig a hole, climb in and hide. You are promised renewal, and a new spirit. I don't know what that means for everyone, but it sounds better than never being found. Which is what will happen if we stay in our solitude, hiding. But if, like a lost hiker who wants to be found, we get proactive and make ourselves visible, we leave trail markers, or build that big smoke signal, if we call out for Him to help us, then God has promised to do just that. The promise isn't to make all of our problems go away. It isn't to pay off our bills or take away our sicknesses. The promise is to renew our spirit, and lift us back to our feet.
     Have you ever just fallen flat on your face spiritually or emotionally? I have, it isn't fun or pretty. And at the time, I wasn't really sure what to do to get out of that cloud. It felt lonely, even though I wasn't alone. I felt like a failure, even though that wasn't altogether true. It felt as though it would never end and I was doomed to the deserted island. Alone. But a small voice within my spirit eventually whispered to me that I could never be fully alone. That Jesus had promised never to leave me. And in Isaiah 15, God Himself also promised that as low as I got, as destroyed as I felt, no matter what had happened, He was there to put new life into me, and to pick me up onto my feet. Solitude may be a good way to get alone to pray, or study, or even just enjoy nature and the beauty around us at times, but it is not a punishment that God ever asks us to endure.
     If you are feeling alone, make yourself visible, call out to God. Don't hide. If you're single, God has that perfect companion in mind for you, and He will be with you in the search. If you long to find a church that loves you, and makes you feel like you are family, don't dig a hole and hide, reach out to God, talk to Him. Then do what the lost hiker does, seek the best direction to travel in so that you can be found. If you are that worker that isn't feeling the respect that should be afforded to you, or the promotion that could have been yours remember this, you are different from the world. As Christians we live in the world, but are called to act, look and be different. So don't complain. Work as hard as ever, and put in your time as though God was your employer. God's plan could be bigger than you think. Whatever your desolation, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, drug or physical abuse, stress from pushing every day to it's limits, remember the words that God spoke in Isaiah, when you are low and crushed in spirit, and in your solitude, God will meet you right there. And in that moment, He will renew your fading hope through the light of His amazing truth and love for His creation. He has promised to pick you up, and help you stand.

(The Message: Isaiah 57:15)

A Calling Lost

     While going through some old notebooks in my studio, I came across this missive. It was written almost ten years ago, when I was struggling with the loss of my father, and the loss of a ministry lifestyle that was very bold and somewhat notorious in the community. I thought that God had finally planted me where my vision of using my gifts was going to be up to my expectations. Notice all of the "my" in that last sentence? While we did have a dynamic time of local ministry, and were used to accomplish some great and fun things, God had plans for us to grow and be used in other ways; plans that were not stagnant, and certainly not on our radar. In the years since that time, my friends and I have suffered tragedy, sickness, and change beyond our comprehension. The good news is this, through all of the hurt and struggle, God has been shaping us to His form. There have been great and wondrous times where I have grown to do things that I never considered possible. My calling swerved from sound engineer/producer and background singer, to worship leader then from worship leader to writer, speaker and author.

  What I want you to see by sharing my thoughts from years ago is this; you are made by God with a purpose. He has a plan to use you to affect the lives of others, but be aware of this, the needs of the kingdom of God change with the flow of time. The opportunity to serve God is never dull or monotonous, your calling is a journey through life's maze. It's something that needs shaping and experience, that's where life's trials and triumphs come in. Don't loose your direction, look for ways to renew it, change it, shape it into something that gives you meaning and relevance towards sharing God's love and grace. Callings aren't lost, they are abandoned. Don't walk away from yours, I promise that God has a purpose and a plan to use your life, every good and bad thing in it, to change a life of someone in need. The following was a time of just such transition for me...

  I was thinking lately that even people that we consider 'big time' in the ministry can lose their way, or worse decide it's just not for them anymore. It surprised me to read that the lead singer of a 1980's Christian rock super-group is now selling real estate. Once thought of as a premier voice in the industry, he isn't really singing or performing much at all these days. It's not that he had vocal issues, or the band ran out of material, he said that he just grew tired of the grind that touring had become. A close friend of mine, whom I consider to be one of the best public speakers and Christian teachers alive today, shared with me that he isn't really preaching at all anymore. He has other duties in his new church, administrative and financial responsibilities that govern the church, and really leave little time to think about sermons and sharing publicly. There is also our band, Last Second Chance. We have spent countless hours together writing, producing and recording music to share the gospel; we haven't sang together in months, and have no plans to play, write or lead worship together in the near future. What happens to us that makes us forget the importance of our calling? Certainly there was a lot of fire burning within us at one time. Is it burned out? Did we push so hard to get going that now we are too weak to sustain our passion? Or does the passion that we have, over time and spent energy,  just diminished on its own? A sort of natural leveling out of enthusiasm. Whatever the reason, the outcome seems the same, we retire ourselves from God's mission in our lives. Is that in His plan? Is He simply just done with us? This can hardly be the case! In many phases of life things change, priorities change, our needs wants and desires change. Sometimes our abilities change, but should this be a sign of dismissal to us? Positively not.. It should trigger us to think, "How can I change or adapt myself to stay relevant and effective". I hear those words and wonder why I cannot apply what I just wrote to my own life. Maybe it's all just about timing, God's timing not ours. Maybe, it's about ego, ours not His. Perhaps our biggest fault in ministry is thinking to ourselves "look what a great job I'm doing". Thinking that our plan is better than waiting on God's is never a good idea.

  Lets get back to basics for a thought or two, shall we. We all have gifts, you may know for certain what yours are. Some of of you may still be searching. Others of us search for fresh and new gifts and callings as we feel the old ones become less effective or needed. But the fact is, God has always known what your gifts were. He put them there after all and His intent is for us to let Him use them through us. So does it sound like something he would have us do for a short time and then quit or retire? Doesn't it seem a bit unreasonable that God would prepare, protect, and then deliver us into His time and place of meeting people where they have a need, only to have us throw in the towel after we get tired or worn? Could the purpose of God's plan, planting us into a special opportunity to share an experience through words or song, be that we are especially forgiven through grace, to be a credible witness for what He has done in our own life? All of my past and yours made you and I uniquely qualified to use the special talents that he has given to us in order to reach the hurting and make a difference in the lives of others. There is no retirement from giving yourself fully to Christ; there is however a renewal and seeking in Him, a path that keeps us vigorous and effective. Our calling allows us to joyfully and tirelessly share the good news of Jesus. Change is one of the few consistent things about living. It is certain to happen. How we respond to change will set the bar for our usefulness as a tool for God. How are you responding to the 'change' in your life. Are you finding more ways to share Jesus with the gifts that you have? Or are you more like me, you're wondering why God has put you on hold? After a little thought.. Has God really put us on hold? Or did we hang up on him... I think now would be a good time to pray and call Him back..