Hidden Blessings

Searching for Gods purpose and direction in times when you can't see anything good in your life.

  For years, I wondered if I was the only person to ever question what God's plan looked like for my life. As a boy I imagined being a lot of heroic people when I grew up. From driving those huge trucks like my father, to being a famous singer. Whether defeating evil with a light saber, or being a knight of the round table, I just knew that I was "called" to do something great with my life. And the older that I got, the more I felt like I had fallen short of my real purpose in life.
  It doesn't take a lifetime to experience disappointment or the pain of failure. We can do that as young children, as well as adults. The quest for purpose is hardwired into our hearts. The last time that you went through a hurtful situation, or difficult time in your life, did you wonder what good God could create from it? Have you thought to yourself that the impossibly tough road that a loved one is traveling must be for a reason? We have all wondered those thoughts to ourselves, even out loud, I know that I have pondered them over and over. Whether you look at it as failure, or just a lack of direction, your life's purpose is important to you, it's important to all of us. It makes us feel complete, worthy somehow to the world, that we have something of value to offer of ourselves.
  If you have struggled with your self worth, or wondered what a difference you could possibly make, this message is for you. It's certainly for me, as my life has made some drastic swerves on life's road over the past decade. I continually wonder how God can make something good out of what I am going through; little by little He reveals to me, that He is using each and every event and experience of my life to bless and help others, including people that I've never met.  There is a great life story in the Bible that reaches out to us on just this topic. It is a story of a young man, left for dead, sold to slavery, put into prison, then put in charge of everything to save the country where he was imprisoned, and finally reconciling with his abusers and saving his own family and homeland through his perseverance.
  The story of Joseph is one that has fascinated me for a good deal of my life. As a boy, he was hated by his brothers. Have you experienced a family explosion so violent that one or more of your siblings or parents was hurt physically or financially? I see this often when families are trying to overcome the death of their parent. They fight, squabble, accuse, it is awful to witness. Many families never repair the damage done during this time. The words can't be taken back, and feelings seem to go being hurt, until it's too late to forgive. Families torn apart through abuse, both chemically and physically, leave children and spouses scarred with the emotional distrust of others motives and beliefs. It's safe to say, Joseph started out in his early teen life with a disastrous view of what family was, something that happens all to often still today. And a subject, I am sure, that leaves many thinking, what good can God use this for?
  In our lives, just as in Joseph's, God looks out for us. He wants us to be respected, He wants us to be successful. But sometimes what He has in mind as a success, requires us to experience life in a way that qualifies or prepares us to be used in a certain situation. Remember that Joseph even spent time in prison for a crime that he didn't commit. While in prison he was still positive and working at being a good leader. He helped run the whole prison by the time he was released. That's optimism.
  When these trials come to us, we can't decide that life has become too much to handle, and simply quit trying; although we all feel that these times are too much for us, and there's no way we can come away victorious, I believe that life is a journey best taken one step at a time. In other words, the harder life gets for us, the more basic our mission should become. Just concentrate on living today, doing what makes today it's best. Trust your trials to a God that has your best interests in mind. There is no way Joseph could have imagined that he would end up being in charge of all of Egypt, or better still have his brothers come to him for escape from starvation. Although he had an exceptional gift from God interpreting dreams, I'm sure even Joseph was astonished at the eventual turn of events.
  What makes some people differ from others on how they get through these trials is how they look at, and react to, what they're going through. I know that I don't have the most positive of outlooks on life sometimes. Thankfully, throughout my life I have had family and friends surrounding me that remind me from time to time, to look for the good in situations, to put aside my pessimism. Truthfully, I'll tell you that unless you and I can find a way to do that, to see the good in life's trials, and to at least continue through them expecting God to use them to His advantage, then you will ensure your own failure, as surely as if you are expecting it. Joseph spent years in jail, continuing to be faithful in serving God and his jailers, believing that good would come from his faithfulness. A break finally came to him when the cup-bearer was released and reinstated to pharaoh just as Joseph had predicted, but the cup-bearer forgot what Joseph had said, to please remember him when he was free.. Though he probably thought that his time in prison was nearing an end, two more years went by before that opportunity came. That's perseverance, trust and faith.
  How long do you wait before you become impatient? For me, this might be a trick question, since I am not known to my friends and family to have an abundance of patience. People often talk about the "big picture", but you don't hear many talk about how to actually see it. I believe that you only start to see the reality of the big picture when you have the patience to wait for it to unfold. Somehow, young Joseph knew this. His waiting went on and on, but eventually the big picture revealed itself to him. I sincerely hope that our knowledge of the plan or purpose for our lives does not take as many years as his did, but in all practicality, it likely will. And longer yet, if we don't seek to follow God's will for our lives. Following our plan for happiness, or our own path to what we think is our happiness, can and usually does lead us away from God's plan. Why? Because at our basic lowest level of who we are, we are self-centered, and sinful. Not necessarily the, 'you would rob a bank or murder someone' kind of evil, just the 'not aligned with God's plan for your life' selfish living. Put simply, certain things in our life can seem harmless, but they are fun, and fulfilling to a part of who we are, a need to relax and have fun. What could that hurt, right? Let's look back at Joseph, what if he had given in to the demands of Potiphar's wife? To sleep with her, (Gen. 39). After all she just wanted to have some fun, and no one would find out. He was a slave in their house after all. You see how easy we humans make something wrong sound like it's okay? What do you think would have happened to God's protection and favor in Joseph's life if he had carried that out? Would it have derailed God's plan for Joseph? Probably not, because God can and does use whomever He wants too, whenever He wants too. But surely Joseph's outcome and blessed life would have been different.
  Don't allow yourself to make excuses about how God plans to use you, or about what you really need, or want. The truth is that we all make mistakes. Contrary to popular belief, to God they all look the same. He still has a plan for our lives, a way to take what we have experienced and make it into something that serves His purposes. You cannot predict the outcome of your life, but you can be aware of opportunity. Times when the big picture unfolds just in front of you, and you are called to paint your corner of the canvas. It's how you choose to react to trials and victories in your life that makes the difference. You can just as easily ruin your life by over-celebrating your own successes. When Joseph was given the chance to get even with his abusers, he did just the opposite of what I might think of. What do you think? Could you help those who cast you out of your family's house, and sold you into slavery? He celebrated his victories just as he did his trials, with a positive and forgiving heart. Always with an eye for God's plan in his life or even someone else's.
  This is not an easy subject for me to write about. Although I can say that I usually control my tendencies at being over exuberant upon success, I cannot say that I do that well projecting a positive and forgiving heart. I often struggle with where God's plan is taking me, or maybe it's just the secretive part of me not knowing. Perhaps together, we can all learn that in order for us to see our purpose in this life's plan, we have to be patient, and keep looking for it. All the while, continuing to live as Jesus instructed us, treating others as we would want to be treated, loving the unlovable, and forgiving those who rage and fight against us. Not to be a doormat, but to reach the lost and hurting. God says that He will take care of our enemies; leave that to Him. When we face adversity, stay the course. Believe that you are there for a reason. Seek and do the best in your duties, as if they were being done for God Himself. Believe me when I say, I am writing this to myself as much as to you, but what if we really tried to live that way. Really. Joseph lived to experience the justice of righteous thinking. Doing the right thing, even when the wrong thing has been done to you. I believe that these are the times when God's plan shows us outcomes that we can not possibly imagine on our own. They are the canvas of life which finally displays those hidden blessings.

Genesis: 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 (MSG, the story of Joseph)

Whispers

          We have all experienced the piercing sharpness of a word spoken with the intent to hurt us. There do seem to be those out there that live for the opportunities to judge others, or to spread rumors, whether true or not. The friends we choose in life have access to our trust and the truth that we sometimes do not want to be made public. You don't have to have a deep dark secret of monumental proportions to appreciate the idea that some things are private, and others are hurtful.

          The real question is why? Why do people take pleasure in filling the crowd full of lies or hurtful truths whose only purpose is to be destructive. Why do friends let us down and sell out our trust in them? Why do people we sometimes know and love whisper untruths and slander us to the world? It really is hard to say what the motivation or satisfaction is that comes from these acts. Of course we all make mistakes and say things we shouldn't from time to time, we slip at the wrong moment and divulge something that should have stayed in our heart, but that isn't what I am talking about here. The sin of this world is most evident when we as humans decide to be selfish, or seek power and fame at the expense of others. We use what we know, or what we think others might believe, to manipulate the character and reputation of someone else. Gossip is such a powerful weapon, and a devastatingly cruel means to an end.

          In Psalms 41: 4-7 David cries out to God to help him. David needs God's grace, and though he has made his life into ruins through mistakes and wild, selfish living, David asks God to put it back together again. All the while his enemies are plotting against him, gossiping about him and creating even worse stories to tell than David himself has actually done. The "friends" that are near him and speak to him, come with disingenuous platitudes, and don't mean anything that they say or do for him. They are only there to spy on him and gather more useful things to twist into their stories; or to make sure that they are seen as loyal just in case it helps them to attain their goals and objectives. No one really cares for David, but for God.

           The exception here is a true friend, someone who is there for you, no matter what you're going through. I assure you that these gracious people do exist. When you find one, it is a friendship to cherish. But we must be aware that the ways in which we live, and those whom we associate with, are directly connected with what type of people that we meet. You cannot hope to meet genuine and caring friends if you constantly hang out with people that are abusive in some way, lie to others, "but not to you", or have little sense of right from wrong. Notice very carefully here that I did not list specific places where these types of people might exist.. That's because where you tend to hang out is no guarantee of what type of people that you'll meet. Some people might think a bar will only introduce you to bad, unscrupulous types, but believe me when I tell you, there are just as many liars, cheats, and dishonest people in your local church, as there are at any bar or club. No matter what you have done, or where you have been in life, you've met good and bad people. Those who gossiped about you, and those who treated you like their own family.

          The real question then isn't why people act like this, or why you've been betrayed by a friend or loved one, but more importantly, what you did in response to it? I know that my first thought is to find a way to enact revenge. To get "even" with those who have hurt me or my family. It would have been very easy for David to carry out punishment for those acting against him. His guards could have publicly sought them out for execution, or imprisonment. He could have called his army to defeat a rival and take their land, or quietly poisoned the family of the offending party. But in Psalms 41 it doesn't say anything like that does it? It starts out saying that we should respect those down on their luck and poor, that in doing so, you will feel good about yourself. Even more than that though, when people plot against you, and scheme how to hurt you or slander your name, the best answer is to ignore them and concentrate on how to be a better you. In the case of David, he asks God to help him rise above his enemies. Not in might, but in deeds. That he would flourish in spite of their rumors and false accounts. In this way, David's enemies may have seen a broken and weak man at first, but through his faith and desire to have integrity and honor in his life, they eventually saw a strong and valiant leader; one protected from his foes in battle by a charitable and forgiving God. In fact, that is what God does when He looks at us. He has every right to ignore us, to walk by us as beggars, even enemies, stranded on the road of poverty and hatred. God sets the example for David, and for us. He reaches out to us through mercy and grace, and seeks to find the good in us, and spend time with us. He offered His very life to prove that He was genuine, and nothing short of us telling Him to go away, would ever separate us from his love and attention.

          Though you may never know the motive for others that attack you, or bring false accusations against you to make you look the fool or guilty, you can decide to seek the best in them. The example we are given is to believe in the part of each other that is giving and compassionate. Knowing that some will hurt you, and some will mock you for being naive or clueless, you will have a power over them and a confidence born from the assurance that you look to them as God has looked at all of us throughout the ages; as poor, dirty, and unworthy people, in search of forgiveness and a genuinely forgiving spirit.

          When people talk about you and convict you in the court of public opinion, remember that you are in good company. David spoke of his accusers in Psalms. Moses felt the sting of ungrateful friends and followers, though he continued to follow God's leading, they questioned him and his judgement, even to the point of publicly humiliating him by proposing to go back to Egypt. Jesus was scorned by many "religious" leaders of the day. They were popular leaders in their towns and churches I'm sure. But because Jesus represented something different, or new, they conspired to lie about Him, to accuse Him unfairly, and eventually murdered Him. You cannot predict or control the actions or idle thoughts of others, but you can decide how to respond to it. You can make a difference to the ones closest to you by proving that you believe God's promise to never leave you alone or without His love and mercy. That He will hold you together in any situation of chaos. You can show the people that you work with that you are different through the way that you live your life. Your courage and ethical lifestyle, living in contrast to the world's values that say, "its okay as long as you don't get caught". These are the virtues and promises that protect us from the whispers of the world. Those that lie about us, cheat to win over us, and accuse us, even though the God of the universe has set us free from the guilt of our mistakes. Though you may not yet know how, you can silence them, one day at a time. Living under God's mercy and by His example; loving others, protecting the innocent, and walking through every day as though He was right there, step for step, following along with your life. God does care enough to hear your faintest prayer, and to tolerate when you need to yell, and question why. Why others seem to rejoice in causing you pain, or wish bad things upon you and your life. Bad things done in the secret of silence or the low tones of false friendships are very painful. But just as they can be destructive, God takes the soft and quiet disjointed pieces of our personal destruction and whispers hope and acceptance to our heart; that He loves us just as we are, and in that moment turns what others meant for loss and personal ruin, into our full and successful measure of grace and renewal..

Psalm 41 (msg)

Thunder in the Desert

          Recently, I was reading about a man that had been lost alone in the desert for nine days. His ordeal was surely one that I cannot imagine. The thirst from not having water would make one desperate enough to drink just about anything in order to stay alive. In his story, life saving rain came at just the right moments to keep him alive, when he was too weak to manage for himself. But there were days that came and went, when no rain fell. I'm sure he thought that the end was near many times; that his life's story in this world had come to an end, there in the California desert.
          One of the dictionary's definitions of desert is, 'any place lacking in something'. It sounds so unassuming, yet a place where any and all organisms struggle to survive is not a place to be. Life can be a series of events that range from your happiest day, to being lost in your own desert. Whether it's a desert of failure in school or work, or one of financial ruin. Perhaps the cruelty of human weakness through disease has come to you, or you can't control an addiction that seems to weigh over you like a massive boulder quarried from shame and self-loathing. Each time you see an end to your circumstances and pain, it turns out to be a mirage of lifeless vapor.
          Imagine yourself in the quiet, starlit night of a dry and lifeless place. The sky is intermittent with clouds, and in the distance, you see the faint flashes of lightning at the horizon. The delusion of hope grips your heart again. Days into your ordeal, you are ready to move toward the promise and find out, for certain, if the rain is real or not. After a seemingly eternity of thirst and heat, you long for the drops of wet redemption to touch your burned and aching skin, to wet the tip of your tongue if only to cool it for a while. This is the image of not only a desperate person in a dangerous physical place, but it also describes our lives in those times when we find ourselves in our darkest, driest moments. Those times when our spiritual tongues are dried and cracking from the lack of living water. When we've lost our direction or misplaced our purpose. We wander in our search for what makes us happy, or fulfilled, and yet rarely discover the answer on our own. The desert can be a place of great peril, and even death. So it is spiritually. If we stay in the desolation of a purposeless life, we will eventually die to the ways of good, mercy and hope. The desert will consume us.
          Unlike the man in my story, we do not have to wait and hope that the thunder will bring us spiritual rain. In John 1:19-23, God calls us to be His prelude. To announce that He is coming to a world of desolation and drought with the healing everlasting water. In John 4: 13-14 Jesus tells the woman that His water will forever quench our soul's thirst. In a few short chapters, John tells us that as we wander in our desert we should keep telling others about what God has done in our lives. Even when we are thirsty ourselves, dry and parched, we should point the way to His living water. In fact, I think that we are the most useful to God, when we've come through our own solitary wasteland. When we have seen and felt the sorrow of loosing a loved one, we are ready and trained to help those in need. To come through a life crisis such as the failure of a business, or betrayal of a friend, this is our desolation ordeal, and if we put our faith and resolve in the right place, it makes us a very credible voice to others in similar situations. I'm not saying that you have to die to understand what death means, or that unless you have been divorced, you can't know the feeling of abandonment or failure. Some people are gifted with the ability to empathize with those in need. But for most of us, the experience of life circumstances trains us to know when others truly need our grace and support.
          I believe that the church was called to help fulfill this function, to share with each other's passion and loss, in ways that would strengthen one another. Sadly, many times that seems to be the lacking ingredient as the modern church searches for purpose, instead of hearts. But do not give up on your search for genuine lives being lived with passion and those willing to share what they have experienced and learned from their conflicts. We do not come together to judge or count sins, we come together to find strength, and endurance. Find your place of belonging, where God's message is emanating from hearts full of grace and a natural caring for others, living day to day by His unchanging words and promises.
          If we are to have a chance for others to see our lives as a light of credible understanding, the fact that we have lived the same crisis or tragedy is a big first step. We are to be that thunder in the distance, the hope of good things to come. Seeing our survival, our continued resilience under fire, gives others an example of what may be close at hand for them, if they pursue with diligence the path towards the well of the living water. Our desert is not one of complete desolation, even though many times it does feel that way. There are many today on this journey with us, as well as those who came before and will come after, and we all look to each other for that promise. That hope of thunder in the desert.

John 1:19-23 / John 4: 13-14 (msg)

Solitude

     Having time alone, being by yourself can be a good thing. Sometimes we think better when we're not interrupted, or distracted by the noises that come with living a normal life. The extreme version of this solo lifestyle can be desolate and lonely. Movies often depict certain characters, thrust into living alone on deserted islands, talking to themselves, or inanimate objects to pass the time. In some ways, that can be the experience for a lot of us that are not actually alone on an island, but spiritually and emotionally feel alone in some part of our life. Whether you're a single person wondering if the "right" one will ever come along. Or your life in the church has left you feeling like an outsider because you don't have that "connection" or gift that everyone else seems to have. You may be a hard working person at a job that has given you very little inspiration or credit for how good you are at what you do. I am quite sure that I could keep on writing one scenario after another with this same theme appearing over an over, the question of being "alone", even when it's just a perception, not a physical fact. I certainly know some of these experiences on a very personal level. Hopefully, you don't feel perpetually stuck in one of them, because that is when the most damaging effects seem to occur. Those are the people that give up, and decide that life isn't worth living anymore.
     The good news is this, there is company for those lonely times. You and I do not have to face the desolate times alone. And no, they do not last a life time if we know where to look for the oasis. In fact, most people that have been lost and are successfully found do something proactive to make their-self visible to the searchers. In other words, would it make sense if you were lost to dig a hole, climb in and cover yourself up? Just sitting there hoping someone stumbled across your exact location so that you could be found.. Of course it wouldn't. But it has been my experience that when I felt alone, and lost emotionally, the thing that I most wanted to do was hide, and not be seen. To get further away from anything and anyone that might hurt me, or help me. I'm sure that I am not alone in that feeling. But looking at it right now, with the comparison of really being physically lost, and wanting to be found, doesn't our natural response leave little to no room for success? I hope this reaches you in a way that changes your perspective the next time that you have those feelings. That somewhere inside your heart, you realize that you really want to be found, and helped. But for that to happen, we cannot hide in our own desolation.
     In Isaiah 57, most versions of the Bible use the word contrite, meaning to be filled with guilt and remorse, longing for atonement. Atonement that comes through the forgiveness and grace of Jesus. But that verse says a lot more. It directly points toward an answer to what we've been discussing. In the Message of Isaiah 57: 15 it says, I am the God of Heaven. From the highest of heights, to lowest of all, the low in spirit, I put new spirit in them, and help them to stand up again. If you're looking to be found, or need a renewal in your body, mind or spirit, God himself says that He will do that for you. That he looks for the downtrodden and crushed in order to put new life into them. Does anyone else find that mind-blowing? God says when you are low, when you are in that desolate place of despair and personal destruction, He will put new life, and a new spirit into you. There is no reason to dig a hole, climb in and hide. You are promised renewal, and a new spirit. I don't know what that means for everyone, but it sounds better than never being found. Which is what will happen if we stay in our solitude, hiding. But if, like a lost hiker who wants to be found, we get proactive and make ourselves visible, we leave trail markers, or build that big smoke signal, if we call out for Him to help us, then God has promised to do just that. The promise isn't to make all of our problems go away. It isn't to pay off our bills or take away our sicknesses. The promise is to renew our spirit, and lift us back to our feet.
     Have you ever just fallen flat on your face spiritually or emotionally? I have, it isn't fun or pretty. And at the time, I wasn't really sure what to do to get out of that cloud. It felt lonely, even though I wasn't alone. I felt like a failure, even though that wasn't altogether true. It felt as though it would never end and I was doomed to the deserted island. Alone. But a small voice within my spirit eventually whispered to me that I could never be fully alone. That Jesus had promised never to leave me. And in Isaiah 15, God Himself also promised that as low as I got, as destroyed as I felt, no matter what had happened, He was there to put new life into me, and to pick me up onto my feet. Solitude may be a good way to get alone to pray, or study, or even just enjoy nature and the beauty around us at times, but it is not a punishment that God ever asks us to endure.
     If you are feeling alone, make yourself visible, call out to God. Don't hide. If you're single, God has that perfect companion in mind for you, and He will be with you in the search. If you long to find a church that loves you, and makes you feel like you are family, don't dig a hole and hide, reach out to God, talk to Him. Then do what the lost hiker does, seek the best direction to travel in so that you can be found. If you are that worker that isn't feeling the respect that should be afforded to you, or the promotion that could have been yours remember this, you are different from the world. As Christians we live in the world, but are called to act, look and be different. So don't complain. Work as hard as ever, and put in your time as though God was your employer. God's plan could be bigger than you think. Whatever your desolation, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, drug or physical abuse, stress from pushing every day to it's limits, remember the words that God spoke in Isaiah, when you are low and crushed in spirit, and in your solitude, God will meet you right there. And in that moment, He will renew your fading hope through the light of His amazing truth and love for His creation. He has promised to pick you up, and help you stand.

(The Message: Isaiah 57:15)

A Calling Lost

     While going through some old notebooks in my studio, I came across this missive. It was written almost ten years ago, when I was struggling with the loss of my father, and the loss of a ministry lifestyle that was very bold and somewhat notorious in the community. I thought that God had finally planted me where my vision of using my gifts was going to be up to my expectations. Notice all of the "my" in that last sentence? While we did have a dynamic time of local ministry, and were used to accomplish some great and fun things, God had plans for us to grow and be used in other ways; plans that were not stagnant, and certainly not on our radar. In the years since that time, my friends and I have suffered tragedy, sickness, and change beyond our comprehension. The good news is this, through all of the hurt and struggle, God has been shaping us to His form. There have been great and wondrous times where I have grown to do things that I never considered possible. My calling swerved from sound engineer/producer and background singer, to worship leader then from worship leader to writer, speaker and author.

  What I want you to see by sharing my thoughts from years ago is this; you are made by God with a purpose. He has a plan to use you to affect the lives of others, but be aware of this, the needs of the kingdom of God change with the flow of time. The opportunity to serve God is never dull or monotonous, your calling is a journey through life's maze. It's something that needs shaping and experience, that's where life's trials and triumphs come in. Don't loose your direction, look for ways to renew it, change it, shape it into something that gives you meaning and relevance towards sharing God's love and grace. Callings aren't lost, they are abandoned. Don't walk away from yours, I promise that God has a purpose and a plan to use your life, every good and bad thing in it, to change a life of someone in need. The following was a time of just such transition for me...

  I was thinking lately that even people that we consider 'big time' in the ministry can lose their way, or worse decide it's just not for them anymore. It surprised me to read that the lead singer of a 1980's Christian rock super-group is now selling real estate. Once thought of as a premier voice in the industry, he isn't really singing or performing much at all these days. It's not that he had vocal issues, or the band ran out of material, he said that he just grew tired of the grind that touring had become. A close friend of mine, whom I consider to be one of the best public speakers and Christian teachers alive today, shared with me that he isn't really preaching at all anymore. He has other duties in his new church, administrative and financial responsibilities that govern the church, and really leave little time to think about sermons and sharing publicly. There is also our band, Last Second Chance. We have spent countless hours together writing, producing and recording music to share the gospel; we haven't sang together in months, and have no plans to play, write or lead worship together in the near future. What happens to us that makes us forget the importance of our calling? Certainly there was a lot of fire burning within us at one time. Is it burned out? Did we push so hard to get going that now we are too weak to sustain our passion? Or does the passion that we have, over time and spent energy,  just diminished on its own? A sort of natural leveling out of enthusiasm. Whatever the reason, the outcome seems the same, we retire ourselves from God's mission in our lives. Is that in His plan? Is He simply just done with us? This can hardly be the case! In many phases of life things change, priorities change, our needs wants and desires change. Sometimes our abilities change, but should this be a sign of dismissal to us? Positively not.. It should trigger us to think, "How can I change or adapt myself to stay relevant and effective". I hear those words and wonder why I cannot apply what I just wrote to my own life. Maybe it's all just about timing, God's timing not ours. Maybe, it's about ego, ours not His. Perhaps our biggest fault in ministry is thinking to ourselves "look what a great job I'm doing". Thinking that our plan is better than waiting on God's is never a good idea.

  Lets get back to basics for a thought or two, shall we. We all have gifts, you may know for certain what yours are. Some of of you may still be searching. Others of us search for fresh and new gifts and callings as we feel the old ones become less effective or needed. But the fact is, God has always known what your gifts were. He put them there after all and His intent is for us to let Him use them through us. So does it sound like something he would have us do for a short time and then quit or retire? Doesn't it seem a bit unreasonable that God would prepare, protect, and then deliver us into His time and place of meeting people where they have a need, only to have us throw in the towel after we get tired or worn? Could the purpose of God's plan, planting us into a special opportunity to share an experience through words or song, be that we are especially forgiven through grace, to be a credible witness for what He has done in our own life? All of my past and yours made you and I uniquely qualified to use the special talents that he has given to us in order to reach the hurting and make a difference in the lives of others. There is no retirement from giving yourself fully to Christ; there is however a renewal and seeking in Him, a path that keeps us vigorous and effective. Our calling allows us to joyfully and tirelessly share the good news of Jesus. Change is one of the few consistent things about living. It is certain to happen. How we respond to change will set the bar for our usefulness as a tool for God. How are you responding to the 'change' in your life. Are you finding more ways to share Jesus with the gifts that you have? Or are you more like me, you're wondering why God has put you on hold? After a little thought.. Has God really put us on hold? Or did we hang up on him... I think now would be a good time to pray and call Him back..

The Traveler

  Just how fast can an idea or news spread around the world these days? It's amazing to know that someone in Africa, Asia, the United Kingdom, South America and here in my home city, can all be affected by the news and events that are reported on live TV and online reporting. Good news and bad news, they all have a light speed conduit to the people of the world. It's surprising to me to see how many people are connected to each other via the worldwide web. There are televangelists with global capabilities and followings, news channels showing the latest crazy act of violence,sporting events that draw viewers by the millions, and yet the biggest paradigm shift in this world occurred when one man and 12 followers took it upon themselves to spread the message of love and acceptance. You may think that you're just one person in a vast world of information highways and currents events; that your actions won't have a significant impact on people, or change the course of anything with historical importance. You may not be famous or a dignitary, and yet it's easy to forget that the writings or ideas of one person, or the public failure of another, can make headlines worldwide. If it's that easy to impact an audience that's across the continents why is it so hard to spread the good news of the gospel? Do our argumentative and different opinions of what Jesus came here to do keep us from spreading the result of what he really accomplished while he was here?

  Growing up in church, one of the big events that would happen on occasion would be when an evangelist would come to town. They would put on a four or five day church meeting that some people call, camp meetings or revivals. It was kind of an exciting time. You could enjoy hearing a speaker that you really didn't know personally and he or she could get away with saying some things that your regular pastor could not. In today's world of being politically correct, it seems that this entire way of life may be gone forever. No one wants to hurt another's feelings anymore. Regardless of the dangers that our friends and family face due to poor decisions or hazardous lifestyles; no one wants to tell each other that they've been wrong or that they are living in a world of lies and selfishness. A world where the 'new' reality is what you make for yourself. Nothing could go wrong with that idea, right? In the case of the evangelist, it gave them a chance to speak on or about subjects that were sensitive within the regular crowd. They were able to speak to subjects too close to home for the local pastor. Sometimes known as the 'Fire and Brimstone' preachers, they did have a knack for shaking up the regular crowd and making them think about the words that they heard every week.

  I know that occasionally, in my fast moving and over scheduled life, I need to come to a point of reality realism. I need that abrupt stop, look, and listen that going into crisis mode puts us through.  I need to be reminded that, "I'm not all that". That pride and selfishness is a perpetual circle of disappointment. Even with a high self image, some days we also need to be reminded that we are more than we think we are. It's possible that you know the feeling of these emotions when they come over you saying, you're not good enough, or maybe you have feelings that tell you that you're better than everyone else. No matter which direction that you come from when you experience this personally convicting intersection, you need that reality check, you need advice from a person that maybe doesn't know you like a family or friend does. The person who intersects with our life in a way that shows respect, while earning trust. I hope you have a person like this in your life. If not now, then somewhere in you're past. Perhaps at youth camp, there was a special speaker that seemingly created every topic and message like they knew all about you, or a song on the radio that described your emotions or situation almost as if the writer understood right where you were.

  Part of God's message through the cross was to reach out to us in a way that would present the message of grace openly to everyone; not just for the salvation of the Jews, but everyone else as well. Eventually, left without their leader to guide them, the Apostles and the growing number of followers needed a link to God. A part of God that could be with them here on earth, in the solitude of prison and in the pressing of massive crowds, the presence of God was needed and present there. It taught them to seek God in healing and in worship. In the simple sharing of the message, and the desperation of extreme and violent torture, the Traveler was there. The person-hood of God, the very Spirit of His love and nature went with them, experienced  loneliness with them, spoke the thoughts of praise into their minds and hearts. Like time itself, the Traveling Spirit of God, finds a winding path through our lives. It connects with us through guest speakers, a song on the radio, Sunday school teachers, and well timed events in our lives that always seem to be perfectly aligned for the outcome that we couldn't predict. The Traveler knows when you close your eyes to pray, "God, this is my last chance". You may be young and full of wonder about what your life has yet to offer or maturing to that point where you think more about mortality and the next life, either one can be quickly drawn to the reality of needing God. A need of such desperation that your options are limited to one choice. In your searching for truth and peace, the Traveler sent from God knows no boundary. No situation is too serious. No illness beyond comfort.

  The 12 followers that Jesus called His closest friends, the ones that He laughed, loved and lived with, were all put into situations where they needed the guidance, comfort and peace that they had known in their friend Jesus. They found those things in the presence of the Traveler. If we never experienced sadness and need, we might never find the ability to appreciate happiness and favor. The 12 definitely experienced the full range of happiness and excitement, as well as sadness, fear, and despair. Though I am certain that they felt inadequate, worthless, and ashamed, they persevered to become full of grace, and outspoken about the message of a God that came here to earth, just for them. Just for you. Time can be our companion in life, when we use it to walk with conviction, and the knowledge that the Traveler is also here for us, to embolden us, to carry us when we are too weak to go on, to weep when we cry, and laugh when we are happy. My wish for you is that you will seek out this ally, whose mission here in our lives is to give us a sense of Godly presence and a personal experience with His majesty, the crowned and reigning philanthropist of grace.

The Problem with Sinners..

     I think this message points more to the established Christian as a warning, not to become complacent in our tolerance of bad behavior within the church. There are those who need to be held accountable, and although I don't always circle the proverbial wagons around a highly spiritual or theological teaching in these pages, I am basing this message on the love and grace of Jesus. As Ragamuffins, we have no earthly goods that would be seen as worthy in God's kingdom, and before we pass judgement upon another person, we should be deadly sure that the yard stick by which we measure is Jesus, and not our idealistically warped sense of what we have labeled as righteous. 

     Drug addictions, a drinking problem, anger issues, unhealthy sexual desires or habits; these are just a few of the issues for whom society waves the popular treatment banner. In our self-help, quick-fix modern church, these are the types of problems that "real" Christians shouldn't have to be dealing with, right? After all, you have overcome all those "major sins" by accepting Christ. Wrong.. Reality is closer to this; just because God granted grace to you, doesn't mean that He's also granted you immediate deliverance from your sinful habits. Some of those lifestyle choices are so much a part of who we are, that it takes time to let go of them. I will accept that God could, if it was His plan, deliver you instantly from them, and oh how excellent that would be. That isn't usually the normal path of Christianity though. I trust that God fully expects us to be changed people, and to make an effort to be more Christ-like, but chances are, you will not suddenly stop having the urge for a drink, and you will not have an instant attitude correction leaving you free from anger issues or desires that aren't of the purest nature. Most of the time God's plan works its way through our lives in a slow and methodical way, supplying us with answers to questions as we grow more and more mature in our faith. If we are to expect, as longtime believers, that Christians should instantly be delivered from their sinful natures and habits; and that the expectations of perfection should be put upon them as they attend "our" churches, then that cold and merciless thinking in itself, may be part of the problem with keeping new converts in your church.
     One of the quickest ways that I know of to deflate the energy and excitement of a new Christian is to tell them that they aren't quite up to your level, or that their clothes or the way that they dress aren't up to your church's standards. The problem with sinners is, for the most part, when Christans forget that they are sinners too. Before we accept Christ, we know that we are living on our own. Something tells each of us on the inside that we are not Godly people. In fact many times we wallow in self incrimination, telling ourselves that God couldn't love or accept us, that I'm a lost cause, or that the church would fall down if I go there. None of which are true. The idea of the Gospel was to prove that God's love has no boundaries, that common people are in fact, included in the mission of the cross, and that you can come to Him at any time. Christians who have forgotten that they are still capable of sinning are more dangerous to God's kingdom than any drunk, addict or abuser that I've met. Think about the repercussions of gossip, selfishness, pride, ignoring the needs of a spouse or a child; I would suspect, that these types of behaviors cause as much or more harm to those around us, than the so-called major sins. That's because they affect the people closest to us, and ripple outward from our lives. Our family, friends, and coworkers who see these flaws are saying to themselves, if that's what being a "Christian" is like, then no thanks.. What's the difference between just living, and living a hypocritical Christian life?
     The problem with sinners is that when we look at our own sin, we either see a cascade of unforgivable guilt, or we think that we are "about as good as everyone else". Both of these scenarios have huge pitfalls when it comes to accepting grace. It's our job as Christians to live lives that are examples of God's gifts to all of us. The gifts of acceptance, value, worth, honor and love, these many attributes sum up the grace that God has set aside for you. Grace to cover your past addictions. Grace to cover your abusive behavior. Grace to cover the lying, stealing and cheating. But also the grace to live as Christians and still be working on becoming more Christ-like. No matter where you are in the journey of walking toward or with God, His grace is your membership card into the kingdom of heaven.
     New Christians, don't use it for a license to keep on sinning and say, Gods got me covered. God knows your heart, and will not honor your lack of effort. Long time (mature) Christians, don't think that just because you've been around a while that you've moved past that sinful or worldly part of your life.
     Many years ago, a good friend of mine, a young man that was just beginning his walk with God, was discouraged by the judgement of the established Christians from the church that he attended. Mostly, I think the church leaders felt that he didn't dress in clothes that they thought were appropriate for church. Not that he was wearing clothes with holes in them, or that they were dirty or baggy; his clothes were somewhat dressy. He wore nice, pressed shirts that you might say were stylish and business like. What was their issue then? He wore shorts to church. Not the gym or beach style of shorts, but the type that are business looking, longer with pockets, something that you might see a UPS driver or park ranger wear. But that wasn't the only complaint they seem to have with him. The leadership had another major issue with him as well, he didn't wear a tie. At that time, the church still had ushers and he was happy to help with that task when asked. He was a brand new Christian, and seemed to be really putting forth an effort to get involved with the church, while finding mentors and others that he could grow with and be accountable to. His rude awakening was right around the corner.
     Although he was liked by many in the church as a fun and excited new Christian, there were some in leadership, those sinners who had seemingly forgotten that they themselves were still just forgiven by grace, that felt compelled to confront him. Their message to him was clear, if he wanted to be involved in "their" church, he would need to stop wearing shorts, and put on a tie. His current wardrobe just wasn't meeting their standards for the Sunday morning dress code. Apparently they made the point so completely and so forcefully, that it had a permanent and lasting impression on him. He never returned to that church. In today's church going, flip-flops and t-shirt standards, this story probably sounds so completely ridiculous and petty. The point that I'm trying to make here is this; the actions of a few church leaders, based on something that today seems so trivial, may have cost this young man years of resentment towards the church. Even though the ridicule that he was subjected to wasn't biblical or God's doing, I'm sure that in his heart it was the church as a whole that was to blame.
     I lost contact with him after that, and I can't say whether or not God ever repaired that young mans heart from the rejection that he suffered at the hands of "sinners". This I can say though, where was the grace in their actions? How differently would his life have turned out today, if the church had shown him compassion and understanding instead of judgement? We will probably never know in this world. What we can do is treat others as valued children of the same God that grants each of us our pardon. The same God that forgives each of us daily when we lose our temper, or fail to honor our spouses. The very same God that was failed by his twelve most trusted disciples, but never stopped loving them. The problem is not the sinner, the problem is the sin. We should never forget, that the pomp and circumstance that we sometimes make our organized church into, is never worth the cost of losing even one single person. Clothing differences, gossip and hurtful language, addictions, abuses of all kinds; we have to find a way to be Christ's grace to everyone.
     Certainly there is a time for admonishment when it is scripturally necessary and we should hold each other accountable through love and in a merciful manor, just remember that you are talking to a child of the God of this universe. A ragamuffin that's broken, worn and tired from the journey. Whether the lost are just finding their way into our midst, or whether they are our church leadership, members or closest mentors, we're never exempt from showing others the same unmerited mercy, grace and forgiveness that has been given so freely to us. The trouble with sinners is that they're everywhere, ourselves included.

The Strong Survive.. Or Do They

  These thoughts may be a bit self recriminating but as always, the intent is to share my thoughts, and find solace or maybe a hint of a solution in the process of writing them down. Though sometimes I tend to paint with a broad sounding brush, the focus is the topic and how it affects those that indeed fall into the category and subject. My apologies to those of you who have already discovered the secrets of living or do not suffer from the points made hereto.. 

  In wars of times gone by, the brave and the courageous have conquered and fought for the good and the bad. Men and women, who felt a calling of leadership, whose compulsion to be more than ordinary, were the backbone of creating a society of liberty, with rights and privileges. Truly, you cannot have freedom without sacrifice. Over time this burden can become heavier than all the weapons of war itself. Being a strong leader, or the protector of family and virtue, it's a heavy burden to evaluate where duty and love intermix with the stress and dangers of life and doubt. As parents we want to impart on our children the values that we hold dear, the memories that we made with our parents and mentors, renewed and imprinted into their lives. Husbands and wives, doing whatever it takes to protect each other, to spare each other from the stresses, the disappointments, and the pains of life and loss. The 'Strong' hold closely to the value of protecting who and what they hold dear, even if it means sacrificing themselves in ways unknown to those around them. It begs the question; how long can a 'strong' leader continue to sacrifice? What price is paid internally for telling yourself that others are more important than yourself? Over time, piece by piece, you make a deal with yourself saying that it's necessary to protect the ones that you love, or the things the you cherish. Think of it like this; people in life or death situations, the foxholes of life, often pray to God that if He will save them, they will give up some bad habit, or addiction. For strong leaders, heroic leaders, its often a promise to themselves, a deal with the devil within, that if they can just hold on, and be the person everyone expects them to be, the knight in shining armor, that then and only then, will they be given the chance to be called successful, respected, or worthy. Self destructive? By their very nature, some leaders give so much of themselves that it does become self destructive. History shows us over and over where good leaders are destroyed little by little when they give more of themselves, or think more of themselves, than they should.
  I want to focus on just one man of history and biblical fame in my thoughts here. David was born into a family where his worth was subject to jokes and ridicule. His youth was spent in the shadow of his brothers. But God had a plan to use David to lead and protect the people of Israel. Without retelling you the whole story, which you can find in Samuel, Kings and various books of the Old Testament, I am just looking at how leadership eroded Davids inner self. But more importantly how he handled it. And how God handled it! David lived and lead through victories and personal defeats. Some of his actions were despicable, but God loved him and continued to bless and use him. Why? I think it was because David continued to seek the presence and love of God. He found sorrow in his mistakes and grieved the pain that he caused to the innocent. His heart found God's love, one mistake and one victory at a time. This is the message to us from God, and the point of this writing. As leaders; as parents, wives, husbands, and just about anyone that you can think of, God asks us to seek Him in the things that we do. Our leadership skills will be our undoing if we think that we are capable of always being right! Through mistakes, and a humble, heartfelt remorse, we learn to value others and know the frailty of love, respect and friendship. This is how 'The Strong' survive- with success. David instructed his successor, Solomon, to honor the friendships and loyalties of their allies. He also reminded him of the fate of their enemies. Throughout his life, failures and successes, God used and blessed David. And he ended his life on earth regarded as a man of God, and loved by God. 
  Though you and I may never lead a kingdom of David's wealth and power, we do lead. We have children who need mentors and guidance, we have spouses who need love and grace, and we work and live with others who are constantly watching to see what is so 'different' about these Christians. What I hope they see in me, are not all of my failures, but the fact that I keep looking to God and saying, "I'm ready to try again". Do the strong survive? Yes they do; whether they survive and continue as successful, respected men and women depends largely on how they handle their failures in life. It takes very little courage at all to quit when a person fails. It takes a lot of courage to admit your were wrong, and try again, using wisdom and humility to continue to lead or mentor. I hope you haven't given up on yourself, or on how God can use your place in this life to help, mentor, lead and bless others. Somewhere there is a person, or persons, that He has placed in your life-path for just that purpose. How you live and lead through your mistakes is just as important as how you live and lead when you are victorious and successful. The 'Strong' do indeed survive, but they thrive when they realize that alone they are not strong, but with grace and perseverance to seek God and live genuine lives, they can and will survive not only as leaders, but as respected, Godly heirs to a kingdom greater than David's ever was.

Randy
May 17, 2015

A Ragamuffin Life

 (a letter to a friend): 

Ministry that consumes us completely unto ourselves..

    Last night. I watched the movie Ragamuffin. It's the Rich Mullins story, as told by his friends and family. God reminded me that I/we are not alone or so very different from each other. Though we live unworthy of His usefulness and are sometimes judged by others to be "colorful, failed or distant", we serve a God who knows us and has placed a passion, a wisdom, in each of us.. As I watched Mullins struggle with a life of desiring to serve God, many times he replaced the ministry passion with a passion for addiction. All the while, he continued to write the Lord's message and reach out to the hurting, of which he was definitely one.

    I believe, with all my heart, that I walk a very similar road to him and that you might as well. We serve a great God, and just maybe, we too are called to share the wisdom, pain, and joy of our stories. Each of us has a story to tell—a calling we cannot ignore or miss, but one that should be part of our everyday lives.

-Randy

My Book- ShoeBox Thoughts is available here