Carousel

Colorful horses galloping around in beautifully synchronized herds. Brightly painted structures with lights and loud sounds of joy and laughter; benches and rest for the tired and feeble to rest yet still be part of the group. You might think I am describing a race track, or park somewhere in the past, with horses and carriage rides as part of the day's normal series of events. Actually, I am thinking more along the lines of the great carousels that used to dot the countryside a few decades ago. If you look closely, you will still see a few grand ones here and there. From really large and extravagantly decorated ones in the popular theme parks to the modest few that you find at the country fair, carousels are still a popular ride with the young and old alike. Lines to ride them are full of every race, age, and personality type. Interestingly enough, the ride isn't just about one kind of horse or pony or one particular color. There are ponies that are dancing wildly and ones that look to be walking peacefully, and everything in-between. When you get on the ride, you search for just the right one, and suddenly, there it is. There isn't a way to describe it, maybe it's your favorite color, or the look painted on the horses face; perhaps it's just a mad rush to find an empty one. What about the real carousel with the two benches on it? Why the bench? Isn't this about the fast animals, and enjoying the "ride" and the wind? It seems that not everyone is ready, or able to sit in the saddle.

    When I look at my life some days, it feels a lot like a carousel of craziness. A merry-go-round of work, kids, volunteerism, after-school sports, taking care of loved ones, and on and on. As young adults, we stand in line waiting for our chance to mount our life's steed. We pick the color and the type of "life" we think that we will lead, but in reality, most of the time, it's just a mad rush to find an open ride, to find our path onto, and around, the carousel of life. Wouldn't it be good just sometime, to sit on the bench? You see, sitting on this bench isn't like being out of the game, this bench is on the ride, just a little more laid back than the "mounted horses" part of life. I can certainly attest to my life being busy like that, too rushed to find a way to enjoy the view. I keep waiting for it to slow down so I can catch my breath, or change my position, but as we all know, you can't move around until the ride comes to a full and complete stop, and life rarely does.

    The really interesting part that I learned about carousels was this, if you found yourself a little sick or dizzy, you could look at the center of the machine. This part usually housed the moving engine mechanisms. Sometimes it even held the organs and musical equipment of the older types; but best of all, it always seemed that it was just barely moving, in relation to the rest of the surroundings. With all of the outside structure rushing around, one horse chasing the horse in front of the other, the center of the whole thing seemed to move slowly, and with purpose. Focusing on this would give you less sense of movement, and it always helped me to feel better when I started getting green from going in circles.

    If your life is a spiral of out of control dizziness and unobtainable goals, even a small part of the time, maybe it is time to focus on the center of your life. When you look at where your values and central thoughts lie, what do you find? Do you see your job, your impressive new car, or maybe your kid's latest sports schedule? Do you see the long list of needs or debt piling up? Let's imagine for a minute what God thinks of that picture. 

  

Perfect Pitch

A Story of Worship

  Whether it is the off-key voice of the person behind you on Sunday morning, the guitar solo that wasn't so hot, or the muffled sound of the voice from stage singing a song you've never heard before, how do you perceive the noise we call worship? Can you hear the beauty in it's offering, or are you the judge of its ineptitude? Worship has many different styles and even more methods of delivery and presentation. Most people think of music when we talk about worship, with many churches all over the world hiring a guy or gal that we refer to as the worship leader, but do we look at our worship as their job to create and administer the worship time? To manage what is said and done, to direct the church body into a position and realm of worshipful expression. Perhaps for the corporate time together that answer is mostly yes.
  Yet worship is so much more than people getting together to sing songs, whether flashy lights and loud music is your thing, or you pine over the soft and subtle folk sound of acoustic everything, maybe you prefer the realism of no sound system and just enjoy the harmony of voices bringing life back to the hymnal. None of these are wrong, or better than and more pleasing to God than the other. As a former worship leader, and longtime sound engineer, concert producer, and rock singer at heart, I have my tastes for what I like to hear on Saturday night or Sunday morning. But is that all there is to worship? The sights, sounds and endless opinions. I think that we have focused far too much on the style differences and have forgotten, or at least minimized the real purpose and motive of worship.
Worship has a purpose behind it in this world, just as life has been a series of changes and learning experiences, worship isn't something that you master on the first try. Although it's purpose is one of expression, the ultimate reason for it is far beyond this world. As a famous science fiction movie line once said, and I will paraphrase into the realm of worship to make my point, worship surrounds us, it binds us together, it helps us to see through eyes that are not our own. It is the light that we share with one another, an ally when we are alone, and as a little green guy once said, a powerful ally it is. Okay, so enough with the movie thoughts, but they are pretty powerful thoughts when you put them into the real world in which we live. While many of us think that we might enjoy being a movie hero and having special powers, how many of us develop the special powers and gifts promised to us by God through His word? Some of God's gifts would surely seem extra-special if we were to suddenly start healing people with a simple word or touch. Or perhaps healing the emotional issues on the inside that we all seem to suffer through would be an even greater feat. Imagine a church body full of believers that have prayed their way through the hardships of their own ragged lives, a group of people who have learned the full value of grace and forgiveness. People who might even have discovered the destructive power of loveless judgment and conceit, and find no room for it in their group and individual lives. A truly special power that would be.
  Worship without the distractions of failure and doubt, where everyone is valued and the stories of life tell of our undeniable need to ask God to form us into His likeness. Letting the past be the past, and removing the scales from our eyes, the inability to see life and others through the eyes of a loving Father. One who grieves when we are resistant, but One who party's with all of His creation when we come to Him and say, "I need you, I am sorry for making a mess of my life, please take over and guide me in the path that leads me to the heart of your perfect love, help me to hear the voice of that ally which you have sent to be with us. Through your grace and mercy, remake my heart into your heart, and show me the purpose and pathway to true worship". There are many words that you could say and have the same meaning, don't get hung up on the words of your prayer, it is your heart that matters to God. He knows it well, and if you're sincere with Him, the words that you use won't matter.
  Worship to me is far more than a song, or music; it's a state of being. A mindset that we need to use to talk to and visit with God. Before you theologians seek to reprimand me over what biblical purposes are called out for worship; yes, I agree that it is to exalt Him as Lord and as such it is an offering not always a two-way conversation, (at least the Pharisaical friends that I know like to point that out), but I believe if you look at worship as a single directional state of being, then you are missing out on the truly powerful message of the gospel. Jesus was very clear that our relationship with God was a personal one. Not something that could be done by remote or through an intermediary, but through time spent together. Having the knowledge of what each other is thinking and what their plans are. Certainly, we have reverence for God and His position as Lord of lords, over everything earth and sky, but He hugs us through His spirit, comforts us when we're sad, and enjoys every minute that we spend in His presence. As we intertwine our lives with His, we become a bound force, a shared power flows from Him through us, changing our darkened hearts into beacons of light. And though we have our faults and weaknesses, His light and His grace continue to burn through our messy lives, casting light into our shadows and failures.
  Normal three-dimensional thinking just cannot explain this connection that we have with Him. It is definitely difficult to explain to someone that hasn't at least attempted to experience it for themselves. The wonderful and inexplicable part is that He seeks our hearts to be one with His. For us to find a relationship with Him, through our rags and dirty mess of a life, He doesn't seek to judge that; What He does seek to do is celebrate our homecoming, our release back to Him that which He created, us. Worship is surely not about being a great singer, or fabulous guitar player, those people are fun, and I love to hang out with them and hear them use their gifts for praising God and sometimes just entertaining people. It isn't about how big a church building you have, or whether or not you have moving lights in your service. New songs or old hymns, Leslie organ, or keyboards and strings, let those arguments go. That isn't worshiping. It's about your heart? Are you conversing with God and getting to know His heart, or just judging the surroundings when you go to church. Don't wait for service times to worship, if you do, you're missing out on all of the time you could be spending with Him. Worship is every day, small minutes of your time, saying hello and thank you to Him for your blessings that very moment. Talking to Him during the first half of a walk, then listening to Him for the second half. I know that sounds a lot like prayer, maybe it is. The point I want to make is that worship is a lifestyle, a thought process that will help to bind your heart to God's. Maybe it's a prayer of worship and thankfulness: talking, singing, thinking of beautiful things. I look at those times as worship, agreeing with Him that I appreciate His creation and long to be more like He intended me to be. Worship isn't about having perfect pitch and singing like an angel, worship is about using what you have to enter into a relationship with God so that you can recognize His leading and influence in your life. And truly, what could be better than knowing that you have the ear of God when you call to Him and that He is as close as your breath when you need Him most. Off key or not, with my mouth or my hands, I will keep looking for ways to worship Him until I can do it in person.

Revision

  We live in an era where the family structure has taken a beating with the popular opinion that "it takes a village" and not necessarily good parents to raise and train our children. While I don't deny that good mentors and even a few great teachers along the way taught me some important things about life and myself, the thought that I am talking about here are parents that relinquish or even shrug their responsibility to nurture and raise their children to be the best that they can be. I am always shocked to hear people agree that parenting today is harder than ever and that they welcome the influence and uninhibited input from our schools and media. I may be wrong, but looking back in my family's past, I see plenty of tough times. My parents came from relatively poor families, and as kids, my brothers and I had to work for things that we wanted. Extravagance was never part of our lives. So it seems perspective makes a big difference when you are looking at your surroundings, both financial and spiritual. As small children, we all learn our value and self-worth in a few short years. We pick up the mannerisms and habits of our parents or guardians, good and bad. If you have ever struggled with your self-image, an addiction, or abusive behavior because of what you learned as a child, then the rest of this message is focused for our mutual thought and healing.

     What formula in life can take children who overcome a family history of drug and alcohol abuse or physical and mental exploitation, and lead them to become happy and healthy adults, seemingly free from the hereditary hangups of their past? How do you take a tragically bad memory, learn and grow from it, without digging it up all the time? Just referring to it in a discussion can seem to cause us to relive it again and again. My mom and dad both came from families where alcohol and the abusive behavior of their fathers were almost considered normal. Neither my mom or my dad brought up those bad times very often, most of the time they only referred to their families' in good ways and how they had learned from the bad experiences that they never wanted to burden their children with such pain. And they never did.

     They were so convinced that they could alter who they were, that they took what were sometimes extreme measures, to make sure that the example that they set for us boys was not one filled with the same abuses that they had grown up with. They began by first dealing with their own lives. I think they decided that if they didn't have those things in their lives, then we would learn that it wasn't necessary to have them in ours either. Within their self-examinations, they also returned to roots involving the church and began to seek out God. Both of my grandmothers were very good women; although my mother's mother admitted that she wasn't a very good judge of men, married four times and eight children; one day as a young boy I asked her if she was ever going to get married again, without any time to consider the answer, she retorted, "I surely don't need another man in my life". For all of my life, and until her passing, she was true to her word. My father's mother was a very religious and kind spirit, she provided the very early dialog that pointed my mom and dad towards the church. I think that was the final step for them in finding what could make a difference in changing their life... Eventually, they found and started to attend a very actively growing and friendly church. In the lives of my brothers and myself, that church and the determination that my mother and father had to change their lives for the better, created a paradigm shift within our family, one that would change the course of who and how my brothers and I grew up. Certainly, we were not perfect, we made our share of mistakes and got ourselves into plenty of trouble, and still do on occasion. However we all grew up to find success; success in business, success in marriage, and success with our families and children. How can you look at that outcome and not realize that mom and dad had really figured out something big?

     You may find yourself being that person who needs to do the changing, or you may be the one hoping to live through something horrible and are simply trying to survive. I encourage you to find something positive and real, not fantasy or a temporary fix, to put in your field of emotional and spiritual vision. Try not to focus too much on what is painful or wrong in your life; instead, seek out the One who made every part of you. The creator of who and how you are. It may seem overly simple, but God does have a plan for you, and it isn't being abused or abusing others, or yourself. I don't want to talk specifics about steps to success here, there are plenty of groups and organizations out there that do that. I am talking to you directly and saying, we all have our life moments when we have to rise above the noise that is the evil and sorrow of this world. My point here is simply to reaffirm to you that it is possible to overcome such adversities. Regardless of the method that you choose to make change happen, be encouraged that success is within your grasp. Remember that you may not be able to change your past, but you can decide that your future will be different. You choose each pathway in your life, and how you choose will determine not only your destination but the legacy you leave when you're gone.

     There are so many self-help books out there, and slickly advertised plans that are guaranteed to "fix" your life and make you happy, it boggles the mind to think about the money we all spend, trying to find that permanent fix to our addictions, depression or failed marriages. But it's like someone who's trying to quit smoking. They can chew the special gum, get hypnotized, wear a hidden patch, or go to meetings with other smokers that all talk about quitting in-between "smoke" breaks, but until they decide to quit, until that, "I'm quitting right now" moment comes to them, most of these other answers will be short-lived and ineffective. That said, let's look at our own lives, the real picture of it, not the mask we wear in public, at church or to work. Maybe you always feel overwhelmed with mountains of depression or an addiction that controls your every train of thought; In the quiet of your own heart, and without the distractions of your life crowding inward, ask yourself for an honest answer to this question, do you really want to make a change? Is it time for a paradigm shift in your life? If so, then now may just be your time to put your mind, heart, and soul at work together toward a common goal, to make the things you need to change in your life, become reality.

  Start by seeking God. Have a conversation with Him, and be honest. Pray for strength and wisdom to identify the habits and the people in your life that need to change, or completely be rid of. Sometimes we hang on to people and things that just remind us of where we have failed. Choose those whom you can talk to, and don't just dump on them, listen; and be open to the thinking that you can change. To be clear, I am not saying that everything or anything is your fault. Change sometimes means that we are giving others too much responsibility in our lives. There are far too many avenues to explore here to usher in a new you in this short message, but if I can keep it simple and just say, God understands who you are. He knows your habits, and how hard it is to put them down. All He asks of you is to try. To seek help where it can do you good. Find friends and a church that makes a difference in your life, one where you are moved to stretch your spiritual legs and grow. Real followers of Christ, Christians, are still at best, sinners. So don't put anyone on a pedestal. Live in His grace, it is free, and it's the only secure path to finding peace. Learn to love yourself in spite of what you see in the mirror of your memories. God's forgiveness is fathomless, that means as far as it is from the earth to the sky, and then a thousand times more, He has forgotten your failures. Choose to end your addictions, abuses and bad habits and give them over to His love and grace. That probably will not be an easy thing, it usually isn't, but it is a worthwhile endeavor. You and your family can start today on your path of deliverance from whatever separates you from the perfect path God has chosen for you. Do not give up when you fail. The disciples failed, lied and hid-out to save themselves during their painful learning process, and God picked them up, dusted them off and helped them to become more than they could ever dream. You can live a life of purpose, overcome your past and its hold on you, but the first step is yours, you have to seek God and accept the grace and love that He will pour out on you. It's not easy, I know all to well the trap of fear and complacency when it comes to change, but the joy and freedom that will come from winning this battle, and the story you will have to share with others that suffer from the same trials you have won victory over, will shine the light of glorious transformation over your life, and prove beyond a doubt, that God is a God of renewal and revision for the beggar standing at the doorway of grace.

Peace

  The dictionary says this about peace, that it's the state of tranquility or quiet; a place of security and freedom from oppressive thought; being in harmony and without the aggression of war, or disagreement. Take a journey with me and imagine yourself on a wooded pathway, the trees filter the sunlight through to the ground, and a wisp of mist floats above the ground cover, with its multicolored flowers sprouting from vines and bushes, so beautifully placed that it appears that a gardener had planted them there just for the ones on the path to enjoy.
     Standing alone and quiet, you close your eyes to hear the sounds of nature all around you. The chorus of birds chirping on the branches above you, the slow and gently warming breeze flowing around your body, and through the grasses and ferns on the forest floor. The faint sound of a small distant waterfall as it flows gracefully to the stream winding through these woods. You walk slowly along the dirt path, running your hands over the branches of the tiny trees as they learn to grow skyward and join their family of giants. Just for one moment, there is no rush from work, no bill to pay, no sick child to tend. No telemarketer on your phone, or leaking faucet in your house dripping to remind you that your list of honey do's is growing by the day. Only the sounds of the birds, the wind, and your footsteps break the silence. There are only you and the sights, smells, and sounds of peace.
  I wish this kind of place and peace were that easy to find whenever we needed it. In fact, the older I get, the more that I find that I need it, and seemingly the harder it is to be found. If your life lacks peace and tranquility, then we are in the same boat. Maybe we have missed the opportunities that God provides to us for finding our daily retreat, by lacking the vision to see it when it comes along. If we are so focused on success that we miss our children's laughter or musical number that they perform for us, perhaps we miss Gods invitation to enjoy the flowers of peace. Have you ever made plans to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee with a book, or the paper? How often do these plans work out? In our desperation and desolate hour, we call out to God for deliverance, but have we regularly called out to Him in real praise? Our busy lives and the temptation to have success at any cost will most certainly derail any opportunity God puts in front of us to enjoy the flight of the birds through the treetops, or feel the warmth of the afternoon breeze through our wooded meadow. I find myself guilty of these distractions as any of you. Not that I've given it all for success in business, actually I gave up my personal business to spend more time with my family years ago. But I allowed other things to slowly work their way into powerful positions in my life's schedule. Some of these were church and ministry-related, so I told myself that God called me to do it, therefore, the sacrifice was divine. Be very careful with that line in your life. God can and does call us to sacrifice for His work, but rarely have I seen that sacrifice come through the cost of our families, and friends worth. I say to us all, guard against being too busy or "called". Serve your family first, for if you lose that battlefront to the enemy, what will the rest of your life's work mean when you're called home.

If you need peace as a regular part of your life as I do,then you must first learn to seek it, accept it and finally enjoy it.

     It hasn't been that easy for me to find and I bet the same can be said for you in your life. when we need it the most, we are often too far from it to see it. This is where the seeking part comes in. In John 14: 25 - 27 Jesus is trying to explain that He is leaving the apostles. That the plan of His destiny had already been set into motion, and that He should follow the Father's will right down to the very last detail. From Palm Sunday right through the rest of the week, He was following the plan of God. So obedience and a faithful heart are at the core of serving God, but peace, how do we seek peace? That same passage goes on to quote Jesus saying, "This friend of mine, the Holy Spirit who will be sent by my Father because I have asked Him too, will make your eyes to see all of the things that I have talked to you about, remind you of every word, every council, and every story. I am leaving you in the very best of hands, complete and connected as whole children of a loving and grace-filled God. That is my going away gift to you, Peace. I don't go away leaving you the way that I found you, alone, abandoned and void of the knowledge of my love"
  It seems that before you were even born, a map was drawn with the words and directions from Jesus and given directly to us, on how to find that peace that we each long for so desperately. I believe that it doesn't come through success or owning a lot of nice things, we cannot create our own peace. He said that His friend, the Comforter, was coming to remind us of the things that He taught. Lessons like Love is kind, it never demands it's own way. To treat others as we would want to be treated. That grace was abundant and free for every one of us. That those who prayed out loud just to be heard by others would find no reward in His kingdom. That the only way to the Father was through Him; He is the way, the truth, and the light.
  How often do we go through life forgetting the amazing truth of those lessons? God loves us in spite of who we are; He loves us because of whose we are. If you long for the quiet of the forested meadow, with the tall trees and the smell of the flowers and pines filling the air, and the sounds of all nature at your ears, then you long for the worship of our King. For in our silence, the rocks and the hills cry out to affirm that He is Lord. Maybe that is why we find such solace in that setting. Deep within ourselves, we know that they are singing our song, praising our Father. Seek out your way to praise Him in private. Find a way to move your branches and chirp your song, but do it in a way that it is between you and God alone. Start slowly and without a big production, remember this is your meadow song before your Father. Your peace is there, in that place. Don't be too busy to try, it might only be a few minutes each day, or you might decide to make more time for it, whatever the case, seek Him, praise Him, alone. In that quiet space, you will find rest, you will find comfort, and peace will find you.

The basis for biblical quote from John 14: 25-27 (MSG)

Now You See It..

       Most famous illusionists have a great way of making things appear and disappear with  flare for the dramatic. The better the illusionist, the more you believe it was some form of supernatural power that was used to make it happen. From Lance Burton and Penn and Teller, to David Copperfield and Criss Angel, some of these master craftsmen can deceive you right in front of your eyes. It's now you see it, and a blink later, now you don’t, gone. I've known a lot of people that were great at being ‘illusionists’ with their life as well. They always seem to have a way of making their problems disappear. You know those people too, I’m sure; they get into situations that are sure trouble for the rest of us. They cheat, lie, steal, rob, and pillage only to get away free and clear on some technicality or oversight. Somehow they make money, or reap fame from their grand and dishonest display of 'magic'.
  As a kid growing up, there were always a few in school, who would be the ones making the noise or throwing something in class. About the time that I thought it looked like a fun adventure, or I just wanted a piece of the action, that’s when the teacher would catch on, and turn around. Guess who always got caught? Just like in sports, when the second guy into the fight is always the one that gets caught and penalized, I was singled out as the perpetrator of all of the monkey-business. The grand illusionist never seem to be the one that got the blame.
  In all of this there are a few lessons to be learned and I wish I had a few years earlier than I did. It seems that I’m a slow learner when it comes to these kinds of life lessons, and I only recently thought about why. Being the youngest of four boys could have had something to do with it, I was always competing for attention. In our house, humor was appreciated perhaps a little more than most. I have no scientific reason to say that, but starting with Dad, we were all cut-ups, and enjoyed making each other laugh. Looking back, I think that fed into my personality and my desire to see people act happy, or maybe really be happy having a laugh.
  Not too long ago, I was saddened by the passing of a great illusionist in the field of comedy. Robin Williams took his own life after years of depression, and addictions. He had discovered that he had a disease that would soon leave him unable to be himself, unable to counter his own sadness by making people laugh with him, and at him. What a terrible suffering it is to value laughter so much, but have so little of it in your own heart. Robin spent his life in the pursuit of making others happy, but never really seemed to find the permanent internal contentment that could reside within his spirit. I hope that through my life’s lessons, and learning from some unfortunate mistakes and poor decisions, that we can find some simple answers together here. The first real truth that stands out to me is that no one else can make you happy. Not a new girlfriend or boyfriend, not having children, not a new job or lots of money; No ladies, not even shopping for shoes. None of these outward things can genuinely and permanently make you happy, especially if you don’t know how to find your own happiness on the inside.
  It always seemed to me that I should automatically know what would make me happy. That it shouldn't be a mystery, but for most of us, I think it is. There are a few people I know that seem to be genuinely happy and whole people. There are certainly many who are trying to fool us all every day. The illusionists of life, wandering through every day like Robin Williams did, looking for a way to change how they feel, by affecting the lives of others. Looking for their own happiness through people and things of popular desire. One sure life lesson I have discovered over the years, people will always disappoint you. Not that all of them try to do it on purpose, there are kind  and caring ones who would never purposely hurt you, but we all fall short, right? In Romans 3:23 it assures us of this fact. All of us fall short of the perfection that is God’s plan for us. Without a pursuit in Him, we cannot trust in anything to be good, true or consistently positive.
  So what does that tell us about finding our inner happiness? Where should we be looking to assure ourselves that we won’t end up depressed and wallowing in self-doubt or regret? Seeking God of course, I told you it was a simple answer. It’s just not a simple task to carry out. I know that we all struggle with the enticement of this world. Things that make us happy for a moment or that take away the bad feelings that come with stress or loss. Those kinds of temporary material answers aren’t truly helping on the inside though are they? It’s like the stage of the illusionist, set to deceive the crowd into believing that what they see is really a feat of supernatural intervention. Just like sleight of hand though, when you realize it’s a trick and not genuine, the magic feeling is not only gone, but you feel worse for having been tricked. The same is true of false happiness, when you seek it in places that aren’t constant and stable, you will be worse than when you started as soon as reality and your real world returns.
  I don’t pretend to say that there is any quick or easy way to solve this life riddle. But there is One who promises us that through His grace, we are forgiven, and through His sacrifice, we can call on God without the fear of failure tied around our neck. We don’t have to put on a good show, or impress others with our fake smiles or success at the cost of our families. There is nothing we can do to earn it, or buy our way in. That’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t know how or want to chance my happiness on my ability to reach some spectacular goal that would “get me in”. It would just end up being another sleight of hand, an illusion; you and I would end up in the same place we started out, faking it.
  The good news that many of us miss about life is that happiness can’t be bought or earned. It can be given though, just not by you and I here on this imperfect world. Start your search over, and this time put your interest and faith in something far more tangent than an illusion. God’s love is proven, it’s perfection, and it can definitely be the answer to what makes us happy on the inside. If we can realize and know that He loves us, and that all that is asked of us is that we live our lives seeking to love Him and serve others as ourselves at the banquet table of His grace and mercy, then I know that piece by piece, our lives will be filled up from the inside out, with a real love that cannot be faked or made to vanish. Illusions in life do not end well, or lead to happiness. Just like those kids you and I knew growing up, those people eventually get found out and exposed for what they are, shallow fakes. In the long run, we all need something real, and constant to be happy. Fill your life from the inside out, with the truth that God has given to you at a great personal cost to Him. Don’t make your path through life a delusion, it’s far too short of a journey to live a lie. Nothing in His plan for you will leave you empty or feeling short-changed. Your life, it’s purpose and your overall happiness, will be far more than an illusion, it will be openly genuine and consistently content. No one is happy all the time, every life has it’s share of sadness and despair, so don’t set yourself up for disappointment by thinking that you can be ‘happy all the day’. We can all know the real and genuine love and grace of being God’s child. His desire is to fill us with joy, real joy, not the illusion of something that we think will make us happy. That’s our choice, having joy on the inside, and being willing to have faith and know that every day, He will continue to give us that inner contentment and peace, again and again. That's real life, without a magic wand.
     Blessing to you all- Randy

Romans 3:23

Who Will Go

     Recently, a mentor of mine reminded me that it is not always the perfect and skillfully educated people that do the leading and discovering. More often than not, it’s the willing and even more importantly, the available, that fill those shoes. Those who talk without polish in their words, or lead without knowing the odds. Stepping out into a leadership role can be scary, and if it doesn’t scare you, you probably aren’t a good one. There were many reluctant leaders in the Bible. Moses and Jonah found out that even if you fight against God’s will, He sometimes has already laid the groundwork to use you, and no matter how hard you fight, God will find a way to put you where He wants you.
      Let’s just look at Jonah for a minute, Jonah was not ungodly. He knew God, and I think he probably thought of himself as a good person. Certainly God thought that he had something usable to reach the people of Nineveh. But for several reasons, Jonah was scared. He ran the complete and opposite direction from where God wanted him to be. Boarding a ship to sail away into the sunset, God put into motion a set of circumstances that would eventually find Jonah thrown overboard by the captain and crew. A bit extreme if you stop to think about it; yet no sooner than they had disposed of Jonah, the sea became more calm, and they were saved. They obviously made the right choice.
     Jonah on the other hand, had started out with some very bad decisions. I have a question for you though, after telling the crew of the boat the truth and coming clean about what he had done, did his life get better? I would say spending days alive, inside of a fish qualify as things only got worse for him. After some time, Jonah arrive where God had intended, and with an even more fascinating story with which to reach and hold the attention of the people of Nineveh. I’m sure he looked the part as well, haggled, worn, and in general a real mess.
      It seems that this story could be told about each one of us doesn't it? Of course you may never be thrown overboard from a ship, or swallowed by a fish, but don’t you feel like you have been on some days. I sure do. It doesn’t even necessarily come from directly going against God’s call, sometimes it’s just our stubborn resistance to follow His direction in our lives. We want something so bad, that we do it even knowing God wouldn’t approve. I’ve made decisions that way, and I am sure that you have too. Some are of lesser consequence, and then there some that really get us thrown overboard.
     The mindset that I usually find myself in when I feel God’s leading is this; I’m not qualified to do what I feel God is calling me toward. Either because I resisted so long to do it, or because I feel like I lack the education, experience or the skill to do it. I talk myself out of even considering it. I board my ship, and sail as fast as I can in the other direction. Not that I am, or ever have been, called to preach and save an entire region as Jonah was, but you have to understand that God isn’t always looking for that. He calls each of us to serve and believe it or not, most times the people and places He is calling us to are right where we are. Family, neighbors, friends, co-workers. Not everyone is an overseas missionary, in fact those are the rarest of people He calls.
     I am sure that you are thinking of someone or something that God has nudged you about in the past, or may be currently filling your heart with thoughts of, “this is for you”. Mine have changed over the years. Yours may too. I didn’t feel all that qualified for most of them either, but each time that I have been spit out by the fish that rescued me from running away from God’s plan, wonderful things have happened. I’ve met new people, some are affected by the stories or music that I have to share. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses my regular life of trial and error, and non-super powers effort, to create an outcome of beauty that glorifies Him. That’s His grace in my life; not only has He forgiven me, but He allows me to help others through sharing my journey and life lessons with others that are going through similar times. This is the true intention for fellowship.
     I’m not going to tell you that it isn’t a little scary at times. Okay, sometimes a lot scary. I think, “what if I am a complete failure”. If you feel that way too, remember this, you are following a path that God has led you to. If you have been obedient and prayed about it, asked mentors what they think, prayed some more, and you all agree that you should go forward with it, then you’re doing the right thing. Just remember, sometimes success can be in disguise. God’s plans can be far down the road, and though you and I may see what we did as a flop, it may be a foundation for what someone else comes to finish. Don’t judge your results by yourself; let God do that. Then listen to family and have good accountable mentors that can help you gauge if you are really being effective.. Don’t be afraid to say, I have finished this calling, or God has given me a new plan of action, and it’s time to move on. If I had not done that, you would never have read this message.
     The answer to who will go is simple, those that are willing to try. It’s not a pastor's job to reach everyone with God’s message. They can’t go to your work or school, and they certainly don't have your life stories of forgiveness and mercy to share and use to relate to others; You and I are called to go. We must, especially if you know God is calling you to a specific place or group of people. The alternative of sailing away in defiance in your own direction, well, we all know how that ended up for Jonah. Unless you are feeling short of trials and failures in your own life to share, I suggest we try His way the first time for once. Maybe you’ve done it your way for a while now, and you are not sure how to change. That is the single biggest obstacle for me to be sure, change. We can all do it differently as we take a step out in faith to follow our path. Believe in what God is calling you to do, seek His guidance. It isn’t easy, but it’s never too late to change. Finding your way to tell others about how your journey led to a "boat ride" of running away, or being swallowed by a big fish called failure; being used by God to help someone else in need, through our scars, that my friend is what grace is all about.

Jonah 1, 2, & 3
(also inspired by the passion and ministry of Pastor Terry Schneider

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Hidden Blessings

Searching for Gods purpose and direction in times when you can't see anything good in your life.

  For years, I wondered if I was the only person to ever question what God's plan looked like for my life. As a boy I imagined being a lot of heroic people when I grew up. From driving those huge trucks like my father, to being a famous singer. Whether defeating evil with a light saber, or being a knight of the round table, I just knew that I was "called" to do something great with my life. And the older that I got, the more I felt like I had fallen short of my real purpose in life.
  It doesn't take a lifetime to experience disappointment or the pain of failure. We can do that as young children, as well as adults. The quest for purpose is hardwired into our hearts. The last time that you went through a hurtful situation, or difficult time in your life, did you wonder what good God could create from it? Have you thought to yourself that the impossibly tough road that a loved one is traveling must be for a reason? We have all wondered those thoughts to ourselves, even out loud, I know that I have pondered them over and over. Whether you look at it as failure, or just a lack of direction, your life's purpose is important to you, it's important to all of us. It makes us feel complete, worthy somehow to the world, that we have something of value to offer of ourselves.
  If you have struggled with your self worth, or wondered what a difference you could possibly make, this message is for you. It's certainly for me, as my life has made some drastic swerves on life's road over the past decade. I continually wonder how God can make something good out of what I am going through; little by little He reveals to me, that He is using each and every event and experience of my life to bless and help others, including people that I've never met.  There is a great life story in the Bible that reaches out to us on just this topic. It is a story of a young man, left for dead, sold to slavery, put into prison, then put in charge of everything to save the country where he was imprisoned, and finally reconciling with his abusers and saving his own family and homeland through his perseverance.
  The story of Joseph is one that has fascinated me for a good deal of my life. As a boy, he was hated by his brothers. Have you experienced a family explosion so violent that one or more of your siblings or parents was hurt physically or financially? I see this often when families are trying to overcome the death of their parent. They fight, squabble, accuse, it is awful to witness. Many families never repair the damage done during this time. The words can't be taken back, and feelings seem to go being hurt, until it's too late to forgive. Families torn apart through abuse, both chemically and physically, leave children and spouses scarred with the emotional distrust of others motives and beliefs. It's safe to say, Joseph started out in his early teen life with a disastrous view of what family was, something that happens all to often still today. And a subject, I am sure, that leaves many thinking, what good can God use this for?
  In our lives, just as in Joseph's, God looks out for us. He wants us to be respected, He wants us to be successful. But sometimes what He has in mind as a success, requires us to experience life in a way that qualifies or prepares us to be used in a certain situation. Remember that Joseph even spent time in prison for a crime that he didn't commit. While in prison he was still positive and working at being a good leader. He helped run the whole prison by the time he was released. That's optimism.
  When these trials come to us, we can't decide that life has become too much to handle, and simply quit trying; although we all feel that these times are too much for us, and there's no way we can come away victorious, I believe that life is a journey best taken one step at a time. In other words, the harder life gets for us, the more basic our mission should become. Just concentrate on living today, doing what makes today it's best. Trust your trials to a God that has your best interests in mind. There is no way Joseph could have imagined that he would end up being in charge of all of Egypt, or better still have his brothers come to him for escape from starvation. Although he had an exceptional gift from God interpreting dreams, I'm sure even Joseph was astonished at the eventual turn of events.
  What makes some people differ from others on how they get through these trials is how they look at, and react to, what they're going through. I know that I don't have the most positive of outlooks on life sometimes. Thankfully, throughout my life I have had family and friends surrounding me that remind me from time to time, to look for the good in situations, to put aside my pessimism. Truthfully, I'll tell you that unless you and I can find a way to do that, to see the good in life's trials, and to at least continue through them expecting God to use them to His advantage, then you will ensure your own failure, as surely as if you are expecting it. Joseph spent years in jail, continuing to be faithful in serving God and his jailers, believing that good would come from his faithfulness. A break finally came to him when the cup-bearer was released and reinstated to pharaoh just as Joseph had predicted, but the cup-bearer forgot what Joseph had said, to please remember him when he was free.. Though he probably thought that his time in prison was nearing an end, two more years went by before that opportunity came. That's perseverance, trust and faith.
  How long do you wait before you become impatient? For me, this might be a trick question, since I am not known to my friends and family to have an abundance of patience. People often talk about the "big picture", but you don't hear many talk about how to actually see it. I believe that you only start to see the reality of the big picture when you have the patience to wait for it to unfold. Somehow, young Joseph knew this. His waiting went on and on, but eventually the big picture revealed itself to him. I sincerely hope that our knowledge of the plan or purpose for our lives does not take as many years as his did, but in all practicality, it likely will. And longer yet, if we don't seek to follow God's will for our lives. Following our plan for happiness, or our own path to what we think is our happiness, can and usually does lead us away from God's plan. Why? Because at our basic lowest level of who we are, we are self-centered, and sinful. Not necessarily the, 'you would rob a bank or murder someone' kind of evil, just the 'not aligned with God's plan for your life' selfish living. Put simply, certain things in our life can seem harmless, but they are fun, and fulfilling to a part of who we are, a need to relax and have fun. What could that hurt, right? Let's look back at Joseph, what if he had given in to the demands of Potiphar's wife? To sleep with her, (Gen. 39). After all she just wanted to have some fun, and no one would find out. He was a slave in their house after all. You see how easy we humans make something wrong sound like it's okay? What do you think would have happened to God's protection and favor in Joseph's life if he had carried that out? Would it have derailed God's plan for Joseph? Probably not, because God can and does use whomever He wants too, whenever He wants too. But surely Joseph's outcome and blessed life would have been different.
  Don't allow yourself to make excuses about how God plans to use you, or about what you really need, or want. The truth is that we all make mistakes. Contrary to popular belief, to God they all look the same. He still has a plan for our lives, a way to take what we have experienced and make it into something that serves His purposes. You cannot predict the outcome of your life, but you can be aware of opportunity. Times when the big picture unfolds just in front of you, and you are called to paint your corner of the canvas. It's how you choose to react to trials and victories in your life that makes the difference. You can just as easily ruin your life by over-celebrating your own successes. When Joseph was given the chance to get even with his abusers, he did just the opposite of what I might think of. What do you think? Could you help those who cast you out of your family's house, and sold you into slavery? He celebrated his victories just as he did his trials, with a positive and forgiving heart. Always with an eye for God's plan in his life or even someone else's.
  This is not an easy subject for me to write about. Although I can say that I usually control my tendencies at being over exuberant upon success, I cannot say that I do that well projecting a positive and forgiving heart. I often struggle with where God's plan is taking me, or maybe it's just the secretive part of me not knowing. Perhaps together, we can all learn that in order for us to see our purpose in this life's plan, we have to be patient, and keep looking for it. All the while, continuing to live as Jesus instructed us, treating others as we would want to be treated, loving the unlovable, and forgiving those who rage and fight against us. Not to be a doormat, but to reach the lost and hurting. God says that He will take care of our enemies; leave that to Him. When we face adversity, stay the course. Believe that you are there for a reason. Seek and do the best in your duties, as if they were being done for God Himself. Believe me when I say, I am writing this to myself as much as to you, but what if we really tried to live that way. Really. Joseph lived to experience the justice of righteous thinking. Doing the right thing, even when the wrong thing has been done to you. I believe that these are the times when God's plan shows us outcomes that we can not possibly imagine on our own. They are the canvas of life which finally displays those hidden blessings.

Genesis: 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 (MSG, the story of Joseph)

The Thief

When Christ was on the cross, there were two men on either side of Him, one accepted Him, knowing that he himself was a sinner and that he needed to ask for forgiveness. The other was a hardened criminal, with an even harder heart. He didn't show remorse for his deeds, and he certainly seemed to make it clear that he didn’t need Jesus to "save" him. He rejected his last opportunity to make his life right before a forgiving God.

If you think about it, these two men represent a lot of us, on either side of the struggle between good and evil. One side seeks forgiveness and a change within ourselves and our motives; the other side is self-serving, mocking all that is good and seeking only the pleasures of life without the responsibilities.

I can imagine these two men might have started out life much the same. Two little boys with dreams of becoming someone great when they grew up. But somewhere along the way, one learned about respect, and honor before your family. The value of good actions and outcomes. The other little boy learned that if he wanted something bad enough, he could just take it. He needed to be tough. He would steal or cheat his way to what he wanted regardless of it being deserved or earned. No one else's feelings or needs outweighed his own. Although they both ended up on a cross as scorned and convicted thieves, there was a difference in their final hours. I believe somewhere in the one man's life, he was blessed with a caring person, maybe a mom or a dad, or a sibling that continued to tell him about the good that they saw in him. That he could be more than he was allowing himself to be. I am sure that by the time Jesus saw him on that cross next to Him, this man was remembering all of the times that someone had told him, “You are more than a thief, more than a bad, uncaring person”. And Jesus saw it too.

If we can open up our own hearts and minds for a minute, and truthfully analyze our own motives, which of the thieves would we be? It’s a sure thing that we are all selfish in our own way. That we all deserve punishment for being disobedient servants. Yes, we represent both of the thieves that died that day. We are the rebels, the ones that don’t want to admit that we are wrong. The failed mothers and fathers. We are the children that have made poor choices and ended up with consequences that we never believed would be ours to bear. The ones that say, “God cannot love me now, I am the one that nailed Him there.” “I deserve everything I get”. And we’d be correct to say that. On our own, without the forgiving grace of Jesus, we don’t deserve saving, and we certainly don’t deserve a heavenly promise of beautiful streets of gold and everlasting happiness.

I am so thankful that the second thief took his last minutes here on this earth to allow God to teach us a lesson through his words from the cross. In his last moments, he was willing to be used as a teaching vessel for thousands who came after him, including you and me. This thief looked at Jesus and said, remember me when you get to your kingdom.

Thunder in the Desert

          Recently, I was reading about a man that had been lost alone in the desert for nine days. His ordeal was surely one that I cannot imagine. The thirst from not having water would make one desperate enough to drink just about anything in order to stay alive. In his story, life saving rain came at just the right moments to keep him alive, when he was too weak to manage for himself. But there were days that came and went, when no rain fell. I'm sure he thought that the end was near many times; that his life's story in this world had come to an end, there in the California desert.
          One of the dictionary's definitions of desert is, 'any place lacking in something'. It sounds so unassuming, yet a place where any and all organisms struggle to survive is not a place to be. Life can be a series of events that range from your happiest day, to being lost in your own desert. Whether it's a desert of failure in school or work, or one of financial ruin. Perhaps the cruelty of human weakness through disease has come to you, or you can't control an addiction that seems to weigh over you like a massive boulder quarried from shame and self-loathing. Each time you see an end to your circumstances and pain, it turns out to be a mirage of lifeless vapor.
          Imagine yourself in the quiet, starlit night of a dry and lifeless place. The sky is intermittent with clouds, and in the distance, you see the faint flashes of lightning at the horizon. The delusion of hope grips your heart again. Days into your ordeal, you are ready to move toward the promise and find out, for certain, if the rain is real or not. After a seemingly eternity of thirst and heat, you long for the drops of wet redemption to touch your burned and aching skin, to wet the tip of your tongue if only to cool it for a while. This is the image of not only a desperate person in a dangerous physical place, but it also describes our lives in those times when we find ourselves in our darkest, driest moments. Those times when our spiritual tongues are dried and cracking from the lack of living water. When we've lost our direction or misplaced our purpose. We wander in our search for what makes us happy, or fulfilled, and yet rarely discover the answer on our own. The desert can be a place of great peril, and even death. So it is spiritually. If we stay in the desolation of a purposeless life, we will eventually die to the ways of good, mercy and hope. The desert will consume us.
          Unlike the man in my story, we do not have to wait and hope that the thunder will bring us spiritual rain. In John 1:19-23, God calls us to be His prelude. To announce that He is coming to a world of desolation and drought with the healing everlasting water. In John 4: 13-14 Jesus tells the woman that His water will forever quench our soul's thirst. In a few short chapters, John tells us that as we wander in our desert we should keep telling others about what God has done in our lives. Even when we are thirsty ourselves, dry and parched, we should point the way to His living water. In fact, I think that we are the most useful to God, when we've come through our own solitary wasteland. When we have seen and felt the sorrow of loosing a loved one, we are ready and trained to help those in need. To come through a life crisis such as the failure of a business, or betrayal of a friend, this is our desolation ordeal, and if we put our faith and resolve in the right place, it makes us a very credible voice to others in similar situations. I'm not saying that you have to die to understand what death means, or that unless you have been divorced, you can't know the feeling of abandonment or failure. Some people are gifted with the ability to empathize with those in need. But for most of us, the experience of life circumstances trains us to know when others truly need our grace and support.
          I believe that the church was called to help fulfill this function, to share with each other's passion and loss, in ways that would strengthen one another. Sadly, many times that seems to be the lacking ingredient as the modern church searches for purpose, instead of hearts. But do not give up on your search for genuine lives being lived with passion and those willing to share what they have experienced and learned from their conflicts. We do not come together to judge or count sins, we come together to find strength, and endurance. Find your place of belonging, where God's message is emanating from hearts full of grace and a natural caring for others, living day to day by His unchanging words and promises.
          If we are to have a chance for others to see our lives as a light of credible understanding, the fact that we have lived the same crisis or tragedy is a big first step. We are to be that thunder in the distance, the hope of good things to come. Seeing our survival, our continued resilience under fire, gives others an example of what may be close at hand for them, if they pursue with diligence the path towards the well of the living water. Our desert is not one of complete desolation, even though many times it does feel that way. There are many today on this journey with us, as well as those who came before and will come after, and we all look to each other for that promise. That hope of thunder in the desert.

John 1:19-23 / John 4: 13-14 (msg)

Our Last Day

Much has been written and said about what we would think of or do, if we knew today was our last day. Life is done, the great beyond begins tomorrow. Period. Would you think first of your children and their lives? Maybe you would write a quick letter to them, telling them that you love them, and impart some sort of lasting wisdom through your final words. For most of us I think, the thought of our last day is not one filled with joy, and suspenseful excitement. We fear those notions of finality. Of taking that next step on our own, where no one can come to our aide, or hold our hand. Although I know, and you should too, that Jesus came into this world so that the exact moment we fear the most, would be His best and most welcome wonder. We will not go into the future life, away from this world of pain and disappointment, alone. The grace and love of Jesus Christ will go with us. Comforting and contagiously helping us know that we are not unattended, but surrounded by family. The heavenly family.

          With that fear settled, and looking back at that last day of your life, what would you do? Who would you talk too or council? I know my own list is long, and probably impractical. Impractical because a day only has twenty four hours in it, and the plans and lists of people and things to see and accomplish would take more time than one twenty-four hour span. Precious time that I wouldn't have left, if it was my last day that is.

Thinking about it, I have come to a simple conclusion. Live every day as if it were your last one. Certainly a cliché, I know, but when I asked you earlier, what you would do, and who you would seek to be with or talk to, you knew as soon as I asked it, that your mind came up with far more things on that kind of list, than you could possibly do in the time given. That it might actually take a lifetime to say and do the things that you felt that you had yet to do. That is absolutely, without a doubt, the correct thinking. It does take a lifetime. You can either make yours a lifetime of blessings and learning from your mistakes, or you can let it weigh you down, repeat wrong after wrong, and leave a life full of regret, loss, and unimaginable sadness. That's really what free will is all about. The freedom to choose right or wrong. But it's more than that. It's also the freedom to do or choose wrong, and then later, choose to make it right, and learn from your experience.

          Even more than choosing to do better, freedom to choose gives us the opportunity to share with others our struggle in things or places where we have been wrong, or perhaps wronged. It allows us to give hope to others and offer them what wisdom that we have learned while we were in that low place. The freedom to choose gives us the chance to experience the greatest blessing in this world that I think there can possibly be. The chance to help someone else that is hurting, or downhearted. To give them a glimpse into what their future could be, by showing them that you have made it past those difficult times. That life can and will get better. Not perfect, but better. You are given the grace of your rescue, to offer the hope of rescue to someone else. This is an experience extremely hard to equal in life.

          In my last day scenario, I see my children grown and strong. Strong in spirit, and in faith. And also in wisdom. The wisdom to see others in need and respond. The righteous intellect of the Samaritan, who gave without wanting anything in return. It is easy to teach your children to be weary of this "evil" world. It's not hard to show them skepticism and have them grow into adults with no respect or morals to bind their thoughts. What is hard, and will be a sign of my success in life, is knowing that my children love God, love others, and live lives worthy of the respect of their peers, with grace, strength, and wisdom.

          Matthew 6:34 says that we should turn our full attention towards what God is doing right now. Don't become worried, or get upset about what may or may not ever come to pass tomorrow or the next day. God is here today, tomorrow and beyond, to help you deal with everything that comes your way, and He'll help you at exactly the right moment.

          That message is repeated in the Bible so many times it isn't hard to find sermon after sermon to substantiate what it says. Do not worry about tomorrow. But for me at least, it just isn't that easy. And what if there wasn't going to be a tomorrow? This seems to be where faith and knowing Jesus personally, fits into the answer column to all of our questions. If we could just know without any doubt, that He was indeed here for our every concern; That He hears our whispering prayers of desperation, and at that moment when this day is your last, He will welcome you with a hug and a warmth that we have only dreamed of in our best of times. Then, at that time, maybe we could know without worry or fear that tomorrow would be fine with or without us. That all of our depression and hiding in dark and quiet spaces would fade away into his presence.

          The reality of all of this is, with our simple acceptance of His gift of forgiveness, and our obedience to do the best that we can to follow Him and His plan for our lives, we open the doorway to the peace and warmth of Heaven's Prince. Though it's hard to wrap our independent human minds around it, God has made a way for us to know Him in a way that can and should, give us the wisdom and the resolve, to trust that when He says He will help us, at just the right moment, He will do what He has promised to do. Realize something for yourself today, each of us has stress and struggle within this world. To each one of us the ability to deal with our hardships comes in different strengths. In other words, what might seem world ending or horrible to you might not seem as bad to someone else. Maybe their struggles look easy to you, you who have never been a day on their path. So most importantly, don't judge or dictate for others what the definition of a crisis is. But offer the hope that comes through knowing Jesus as your best and personal friend.

          On my last day, I hope that I have lived life, like every day mattered. That I didn't waste opportunities to help others when I was called to be there for them. I pray that I have done everything that I can to show my children that faith and family, and the loyalty to it, cannot be over emphasized. That how I lived was my testimony to what and who I believe in. On that day, I want my wife and children to know that they were loved without measure, and my friends to know that they were cherished and enjoyed. You see the list can be quite definable, when your priorities are where God aligns them, and not where our selfish hearts put them. Examining that outcome for myself, I would say that I have some work to do. That I often fall short of living out what I just wrote. Maybe you do too. But God knows our shortcomings. He wants to see us succeed, but He is all too ready to help us up when we fall.

          Maybe today we can all take a step towards the goal of not worrying about something that hasn't yet happened. Taking one step of faith at a time, both you and I, can learn to trust that God does do what He says that He will do. Matthew 6:34 says it; God will help you deal with whatever hard things come to you, when that time comes. Whether it is a school final that we didn't study for, bills that we can't afford, the loss of a job, or the loss of a loved one, He will be there at just the right time, if we trust Him. And know, that the future will still be in His hands, on our last day.

Matthew 6:34 Msg

Solitude

     Having time alone, being by yourself can be a good thing. Sometimes we think better when we're not interrupted, or distracted by the noises that come with living a normal life. The extreme version of this solo lifestyle can be desolate and lonely. Movies often depict certain characters, thrust into living alone on deserted islands, talking to themselves, or inanimate objects to pass the time. In some ways, that can be the experience for a lot of us that are not actually alone on an island, but spiritually and emotionally feel alone in some part of our life. Whether you're a single person wondering if the "right" one will ever come along. Or your life in the church has left you feeling like an outsider because you don't have that "connection" or gift that everyone else seems to have. You may be a hard working person at a job that has given you very little inspiration or credit for how good you are at what you do. I am quite sure that I could keep on writing one scenario after another with this same theme appearing over an over, the question of being "alone", even when it's just a perception, not a physical fact. I certainly know some of these experiences on a very personal level. Hopefully, you don't feel perpetually stuck in one of them, because that is when the most damaging effects seem to occur. Those are the people that give up, and decide that life isn't worth living anymore.
     The good news is this, there is company for those lonely times. You and I do not have to face the desolate times alone. And no, they do not last a life time if we know where to look for the oasis. In fact, most people that have been lost and are successfully found do something proactive to make their-self visible to the searchers. In other words, would it make sense if you were lost to dig a hole, climb in and cover yourself up? Just sitting there hoping someone stumbled across your exact location so that you could be found.. Of course it wouldn't. But it has been my experience that when I felt alone, and lost emotionally, the thing that I most wanted to do was hide, and not be seen. To get further away from anything and anyone that might hurt me, or help me. I'm sure that I am not alone in that feeling. But looking at it right now, with the comparison of really being physically lost, and wanting to be found, doesn't our natural response leave little to no room for success? I hope this reaches you in a way that changes your perspective the next time that you have those feelings. That somewhere inside your heart, you realize that you really want to be found, and helped. But for that to happen, we cannot hide in our own desolation.
     In Isaiah 57, most versions of the Bible use the word contrite, meaning to be filled with guilt and remorse, longing for atonement. Atonement that comes through the forgiveness and grace of Jesus. But that verse says a lot more. It directly points toward an answer to what we've been discussing. In the Message of Isaiah 57: 15 it says, I am the God of Heaven. From the highest of heights, to lowest of all, the low in spirit, I put new spirit in them, and help them to stand up again. If you're looking to be found, or need a renewal in your body, mind or spirit, God himself says that He will do that for you. That he looks for the downtrodden and crushed in order to put new life into them. Does anyone else find that mind-blowing? God says when you are low, when you are in that desolate place of despair and personal destruction, He will put new life, and a new spirit into you. There is no reason to dig a hole, climb in and hide. You are promised renewal, and a new spirit. I don't know what that means for everyone, but it sounds better than never being found. Which is what will happen if we stay in our solitude, hiding. But if, like a lost hiker who wants to be found, we get proactive and make ourselves visible, we leave trail markers, or build that big smoke signal, if we call out for Him to help us, then God has promised to do just that. The promise isn't to make all of our problems go away. It isn't to pay off our bills or take away our sicknesses. The promise is to renew our spirit, and lift us back to our feet.
     Have you ever just fallen flat on your face spiritually or emotionally? I have, it isn't fun or pretty. And at the time, I wasn't really sure what to do to get out of that cloud. It felt lonely, even though I wasn't alone. I felt like a failure, even though that wasn't altogether true. It felt as though it would never end and I was doomed to the deserted island. Alone. But a small voice within my spirit eventually whispered to me that I could never be fully alone. That Jesus had promised never to leave me. And in Isaiah 15, God Himself also promised that as low as I got, as destroyed as I felt, no matter what had happened, He was there to put new life into me, and to pick me up onto my feet. Solitude may be a good way to get alone to pray, or study, or even just enjoy nature and the beauty around us at times, but it is not a punishment that God ever asks us to endure.
     If you are feeling alone, make yourself visible, call out to God. Don't hide. If you're single, God has that perfect companion in mind for you, and He will be with you in the search. If you long to find a church that loves you, and makes you feel like you are family, don't dig a hole and hide, reach out to God, talk to Him. Then do what the lost hiker does, seek the best direction to travel in so that you can be found. If you are that worker that isn't feeling the respect that should be afforded to you, or the promotion that could have been yours remember this, you are different from the world. As Christians we live in the world, but are called to act, look and be different. So don't complain. Work as hard as ever, and put in your time as though God was your employer. God's plan could be bigger than you think. Whatever your desolation, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, drug or physical abuse, stress from pushing every day to it's limits, remember the words that God spoke in Isaiah, when you are low and crushed in spirit, and in your solitude, God will meet you right there. And in that moment, He will renew your fading hope through the light of His amazing truth and love for His creation. He has promised to pick you up, and help you stand.

(The Message: Isaiah 57:15)