Forever..

Let’s talk about us for a minute…

                I am sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘nothing lasts forever’. The longer I’m here on this merry-go-round of life, the more I realize how true that statement is. Lately, I have been reflecting on life and my place in it; the things that seem to matter the most here in this world, are the hardest to hold onto. Children grow up, jobs come and go, friends come into your life and fade from view. What makes me “me”, seems to be harder to define with each passing day, certainly a little more with every personal and major life event. The things that used to be low on my list of importance, now occupy hours of my time, which I lose track of more and more with ease. When my wife and I were first married, we had priorities that focused on who we were, and what we enjoyed. As all of you know life happens, and in our case, a family takes form in the way of children, and in the span of what seems like moments, our priorities and our hobbies suddenly revolve around them. In most cases, that’s not a bad thing. We need to be attentive to our family and children, the time is well spent, and I never regret being with mine for fun adventures and just being a family.

          For a few minutes though, let’s talk about what happens to us personally when we don’t keep a part of ourselves focused on who we are, our passions and purpose in life. You can have your kids as a passion and certainly, they can give you purpose, but what happens to the rest of your story. In my case, I used to have a specific personal direction in my life, one that I could define and knew well; perhaps you did too, or still do. But if we lose sight of that on the inside, it can affect how we act on the outside, and certainly it can or will eventually cripple our ability to find joy with our family and others because we have lost ourselves in the drive to fulfill the passions and purposes of everyone but who you are on the inside.

Here is one thought that I commonly find in my random personal fear file, ‘how will I ever live in this house without kids running around in it?’ Even with a wonderful wife in my life, whom I feel closer to every day, I fear loneliness. It’s like a hungry animal waiting for its next meal, and I’m their prey. I try to hide from it, but I’m terrified of being exposed, I run from one comfort replacing idea to the next. No amount of “things” can bring me peace. However, looking back to when my dad was alive, I realize that he was my ‘peacemaker’. I always felt safe around him. I suppose him being gone now, leaves me feeling more revealed than I imagined possible, more unsure of how to process happiness. He was indeed my hero and mentor; now the question is, how do I pass that on? Sometimes we think of how things could have been in our lives, instead of how they really are. One thing my dad said to me time and time again, “be happy with today, right where you are”. And he was good at that. But how…

How do we relate that positive philosophy to our living with changing priorities and losing sight of our personal direction and purpose in life? It seems to me that many of our major life events make and mold how we see ourselves, how we value ourselves. No doubt that we have each enjoyed many happy moments and periods of time in our life where we were happy and living the fun and fulfilling dream that you envisioned for yourself and possibly your family. But those painful times, they find every one of us. Whether it’s illness or tragedy, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, or divorce; the list is long and depressing. It’s hard to plan for fun or experience happy adventures when all your life’s valuables are seemingly falling in ruin at your feet.

 I believe that it's during these times that most of us allow the internal drive and purpose of our lives to become altered. Where the vision for our happiness becomes skewed or blurred, or maybe even completely blocked out by the hurt of an illness or the depression of a sudden loss. It’s during these times that the second part of what my dad used to say to me comes into play. He would ask, “what are you doing that for?” In other words, is this your passion or someone else’s? I will take that question one step further here in our thoughts together and ask, ‘who... are you doing that for?’ ‘Who do you wrap your life’s purpose around?’ The answer to that might shed some light on the reason behind our sudden and sometimes debilitating internal struggles with our life’s purpose and the fears of failure and loneliness. What or who is at the focus of your life? And when these hard times come to us, and truly they will come to us all eventually, then what is the foundational center of your life? Certainly, don’t spend all your time looking too far ahead to see your path change, and don’t fall into the trap of constantly looking back into your past. It takes a lot of effort to focus on today, regardless of our feelings, and see the good in a bad day, a bad month or year.

You see, how you live on the outside, depends largely on how you live on the inside. And your belief that you are a valuable asset to God’s plan during and after your trials, will hinge on whether you live with Him at your center to start with. You and I may not always know our purpose in this life to the exact measure He intends to use it, and our direction will certainly alter course over the years. Remember that most things of value require refinement of some type. In John 12: 24-25 the message of the Bible goes something like this. Until a seed of grain is buried out of sight and lifeless to this world, it cannot grow, it’s just a seed. In fact, it is only after the seed is left underground and experiences the trial of darkness that the miracle of change begins. Eventually growing into a plant fully capable of producing new seeds for many new plants to grow. It continues the lesson with these words to us. Like a seed, if we hold on to our lives so tightly as to prevent change, you will die. The seed will eventually become inert. But if you let go of your fear, and love God with careless abandon, then you will know real love, real grace, and fulfilling purpose, forever.

We are the seeds of God’s kingdom, and yes, we go through all sorts of trials that test our resolve and faith in Him, and each other. This lesson was taught by Jesus just days before His crucifixion. His reminder that through our struggles and heartache, we become more and more valuable to His work here amongst our families and friends. It is the center of our life, the question that I asked you earlier, ‘who… do you do life for’? Though we all fail, if you will put God at the center of your life, your foundation will not move. Your purpose will be steady and fulfilling through all your trials. Today this message is mine as well as yours, I struggle. I hope that together we can remember that struggle is part of sprouting into something new. It’s part of growing and reproducing, but what are we reproducing? Is it worthy of your life’s work? An example being passed down from us to the next seed? Think about that, because your life will leave a legacy somewhere, in someone.

Some of you may not yet have taken that step to trust in a God that you can’t see or touch. After all, the rest of the world tells you that He does not exist, that it’s all just legends and stories told to make us feel better and safe. I won’t debate you on the reality or proof of God, I’ll only tell you that I believe. I felt it inside myself many years ago, as I believe you do too, I knew that I needed Him. It isn’t complicated to stop and tell Him that you want Him in your life. Just talk, God will listen. And though I am not worthy to be His messenger, I pray my legacy and offspring are many who continue to look to God, even in times of darkness. When the light is not seen, and when we feel as though the world has left us for dead and considers us useless; when our priorities and personal direction is in turmoil, I pray that you and I will seek the center of our lives in the presence of a loving Father, whose number one ambition is to show us love and grace. That should be our focus and our gift to those who come after us - today, and forever.

John 12: 24-25

Carousel

Colorful horses galloping around in beautifully synchronized herds. Brightly painted structures with lights and loud sounds of joy and laughter; benches and rest for the tired and feeble to rest yet still be part of the group. You might think I am describing a race track, or park somewhere in the past, with horses and carriage rides as part of the day's normal series of events. Actually, I am thinking more along the lines of the great carousels that used to dot the countryside a few decades ago. If you look closely, you will still see a few grand ones here and there. From really large and extravagantly decorated ones in the popular theme parks to the modest few that you find at the country fair, carousels are still a popular ride with the young and old alike. Lines to ride them are full of every race, age, and personality type. Interestingly enough, the ride isn't just about one kind of horse or pony or one particular color. There are ponies that are dancing wildly and ones that look to be walking peacefully, and everything in-between. When you get on the ride, you search for just the right one, and suddenly, there it is. There isn't a way to describe it, maybe it's your favorite color, or the look painted on the horses face; perhaps it's just a mad rush to find an empty one. What about the real carousel with the two benches on it? Why the bench? Isn't this about the fast animals, and enjoying the "ride" and the wind? It seems that not everyone is ready, or able to sit in the saddle.

    When I look at my life some days, it feels a lot like a carousel of craziness. A merry-go-round of work, kids, volunteerism, after-school sports, taking care of loved ones, and on and on. As young adults, we stand in line waiting for our chance to mount our life's steed. We pick the color and the type of "life" we think that we will lead, but in reality, most of the time, it's just a mad rush to find an open ride, to find our path onto, and around, the carousel of life. Wouldn't it be good just sometime, to sit on the bench? You see, sitting on this bench isn't like being out of the game, this bench is on the ride, just a little more laid back than the "mounted horses" part of life. I can certainly attest to my life being busy like that, too rushed to find a way to enjoy the view. I keep waiting for it to slow down so I can catch my breath, or change my position, but as we all know, you can't move around until the ride comes to a full and complete stop, and life rarely does.

    The really interesting part that I learned about carousels was this, if you found yourself a little sick or dizzy, you could look at the center of the machine. This part usually housed the moving engine mechanisms. Sometimes it even held the organs and musical equipment of the older types; but best of all, it always seemed that it was just barely moving, in relation to the rest of the surroundings. With all of the outside structure rushing around, one horse chasing the horse in front of the other, the center of the whole thing seemed to move slowly, and with purpose. Focusing on this would give you less sense of movement, and it always helped me to feel better when I started getting green from going in circles.

    If your life is a spiral of out of control dizziness and unobtainable goals, even a small part of the time, maybe it is time to focus on the center of your life. When you look at where your values and central thoughts lie, what do you find? Do you see your job, your impressive new car, or maybe your kid's latest sports schedule? Do you see the long list of needs or debt piling up? Let's imagine for a minute what God thinks of that picture. 

  

A Calling Lost

     While going through some old notebooks in my studio, I came across this missive. It was written almost ten years ago, when I was struggling with the loss of my father, and the loss of a ministry lifestyle that was very bold and somewhat notorious in the community. I thought that God had finally planted me where my vision of using my gifts was going to be up to my expectations. Notice all of the "my" in that last sentence? While we did have a dynamic time of local ministry, and were used to accomplish some great and fun things, God had plans for us to grow and be used in other ways; plans that were not stagnant, and certainly not on our radar. In the years since that time, my friends and I have suffered tragedy, sickness, and change beyond our comprehension. The good news is this, through all of the hurt and struggle, God has been shaping us to His form. There have been great and wondrous times where I have grown to do things that I never considered possible. My calling swerved from sound engineer/producer and background singer, to worship leader then from worship leader to writer, speaker and author.

  What I want you to see by sharing my thoughts from years ago is this; you are made by God with a purpose. He has a plan to use you to affect the lives of others, but be aware of this, the needs of the kingdom of God change with the flow of time. The opportunity to serve God is never dull or monotonous, your calling is a journey through life's maze. It's something that needs shaping and experience, that's where life's trials and triumphs come in. Don't loose your direction, look for ways to renew it, change it, shape it into something that gives you meaning and relevance towards sharing God's love and grace. Callings aren't lost, they are abandoned. Don't walk away from yours, I promise that God has a purpose and a plan to use your life, every good and bad thing in it, to change a life of someone in need. The following was a time of just such transition for me...

  I was thinking lately that even people that we consider 'big time' in the ministry can lose their way, or worse decide it's just not for them anymore. It surprised me to read that the lead singer of a 1980's Christian rock super-group is now selling real estate. Once thought of as a premier voice in the industry, he isn't really singing or performing much at all these days. It's not that he had vocal issues, or the band ran out of material, he said that he just grew tired of the grind that touring had become. A close friend of mine, whom I consider to be one of the best public speakers and Christian teachers alive today, shared with me that he isn't really preaching at all anymore. He has other duties in his new church, administrative and financial responsibilities that govern the church, and really leave little time to think about sermons and sharing publicly. There is also our band, Last Second Chance. We have spent countless hours together writing, producing and recording music to share the gospel; we haven't sang together in months, and have no plans to play, write or lead worship together in the near future. What happens to us that makes us forget the importance of our calling? Certainly there was a lot of fire burning within us at one time. Is it burned out? Did we push so hard to get going that now we are too weak to sustain our passion? Or does the passion that we have, over time and spent energy,  just diminished on its own? A sort of natural leveling out of enthusiasm. Whatever the reason, the outcome seems the same, we retire ourselves from God's mission in our lives. Is that in His plan? Is He simply just done with us? This can hardly be the case! In many phases of life things change, priorities change, our needs wants and desires change. Sometimes our abilities change, but should this be a sign of dismissal to us? Positively not.. It should trigger us to think, "How can I change or adapt myself to stay relevant and effective". I hear those words and wonder why I cannot apply what I just wrote to my own life. Maybe it's all just about timing, God's timing not ours. Maybe, it's about ego, ours not His. Perhaps our biggest fault in ministry is thinking to ourselves "look what a great job I'm doing". Thinking that our plan is better than waiting on God's is never a good idea.

  Lets get back to basics for a thought or two, shall we. We all have gifts, you may know for certain what yours are. Some of of you may still be searching. Others of us search for fresh and new gifts and callings as we feel the old ones become less effective or needed. But the fact is, God has always known what your gifts were. He put them there after all and His intent is for us to let Him use them through us. So does it sound like something he would have us do for a short time and then quit or retire? Doesn't it seem a bit unreasonable that God would prepare, protect, and then deliver us into His time and place of meeting people where they have a need, only to have us throw in the towel after we get tired or worn? Could the purpose of God's plan, planting us into a special opportunity to share an experience through words or song, be that we are especially forgiven through grace, to be a credible witness for what He has done in our own life? All of my past and yours made you and I uniquely qualified to use the special talents that he has given to us in order to reach the hurting and make a difference in the lives of others. There is no retirement from giving yourself fully to Christ; there is however a renewal and seeking in Him, a path that keeps us vigorous and effective. Our calling allows us to joyfully and tirelessly share the good news of Jesus. Change is one of the few consistent things about living. It is certain to happen. How we respond to change will set the bar for our usefulness as a tool for God. How are you responding to the 'change' in your life. Are you finding more ways to share Jesus with the gifts that you have? Or are you more like me, you're wondering why God has put you on hold? After a little thought.. Has God really put us on hold? Or did we hang up on him... I think now would be a good time to pray and call Him back..