Forever..

Let’s talk about us for a minute…

                I am sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘nothing lasts forever’. The longer I’m here on this merry-go-round of life, the more I realize how true that statement is. Lately, I have been reflecting on life and my place in it; the things that seem to matter the most here in this world, are the hardest to hold onto. Children grow up, jobs come and go, friends come into your life and fade from view. What makes me “me”, seems to be harder to define with each passing day, certainly a little more with every personal and major life event. The things that used to be low on my list of importance, now occupy hours of my time, which I lose track of more and more with ease. When my wife and I were first married, we had priorities that focused on who we were, and what we enjoyed. As all of you know life happens, and in our case, a family takes form in the way of children, and in the span of what seems like moments, our priorities and our hobbies suddenly revolve around them. In most cases, that’s not a bad thing. We need to be attentive to our family and children, the time is well spent, and I never regret being with mine for fun adventures and just being a family.

          For a few minutes though, let’s talk about what happens to us personally when we don’t keep a part of ourselves focused on who we are, our passions and purpose in life. You can have your kids as a passion and certainly, they can give you purpose, but what happens to the rest of your story. In my case, I used to have a specific personal direction in my life, one that I could define and knew well; perhaps you did too, or still do. But if we lose sight of that on the inside, it can affect how we act on the outside, and certainly it can or will eventually cripple our ability to find joy with our family and others because we have lost ourselves in the drive to fulfill the passions and purposes of everyone but who you are on the inside.

Here is one thought that I commonly find in my random personal fear file, ‘how will I ever live in this house without kids running around in it?’ Even with a wonderful wife in my life, whom I feel closer to every day, I fear loneliness. It’s like a hungry animal waiting for its next meal, and I’m their prey. I try to hide from it, but I’m terrified of being exposed, I run from one comfort replacing idea to the next. No amount of “things” can bring me peace. However, looking back to when my dad was alive, I realize that he was my ‘peacemaker’. I always felt safe around him. I suppose him being gone now, leaves me feeling more revealed than I imagined possible, more unsure of how to process happiness. He was indeed my hero and mentor; now the question is, how do I pass that on? Sometimes we think of how things could have been in our lives, instead of how they really are. One thing my dad said to me time and time again, “be happy with today, right where you are”. And he was good at that. But how…

How do we relate that positive philosophy to our living with changing priorities and losing sight of our personal direction and purpose in life? It seems to me that many of our major life events make and mold how we see ourselves, how we value ourselves. No doubt that we have each enjoyed many happy moments and periods of time in our life where we were happy and living the fun and fulfilling dream that you envisioned for yourself and possibly your family. But those painful times, they find every one of us. Whether it’s illness or tragedy, the loss of a loved one, financial ruin, or divorce; the list is long and depressing. It’s hard to plan for fun or experience happy adventures when all your life’s valuables are seemingly falling in ruin at your feet.

 I believe that it's during these times that most of us allow the internal drive and purpose of our lives to become altered. Where the vision for our happiness becomes skewed or blurred, or maybe even completely blocked out by the hurt of an illness or the depression of a sudden loss. It’s during these times that the second part of what my dad used to say to me comes into play. He would ask, “what are you doing that for?” In other words, is this your passion or someone else’s? I will take that question one step further here in our thoughts together and ask, ‘who... are you doing that for?’ ‘Who do you wrap your life’s purpose around?’ The answer to that might shed some light on the reason behind our sudden and sometimes debilitating internal struggles with our life’s purpose and the fears of failure and loneliness. What or who is at the focus of your life? And when these hard times come to us, and truly they will come to us all eventually, then what is the foundational center of your life? Certainly, don’t spend all your time looking too far ahead to see your path change, and don’t fall into the trap of constantly looking back into your past. It takes a lot of effort to focus on today, regardless of our feelings, and see the good in a bad day, a bad month or year.

You see, how you live on the outside, depends largely on how you live on the inside. And your belief that you are a valuable asset to God’s plan during and after your trials, will hinge on whether you live with Him at your center to start with. You and I may not always know our purpose in this life to the exact measure He intends to use it, and our direction will certainly alter course over the years. Remember that most things of value require refinement of some type. In John 12: 24-25 the message of the Bible goes something like this. Until a seed of grain is buried out of sight and lifeless to this world, it cannot grow, it’s just a seed. In fact, it is only after the seed is left underground and experiences the trial of darkness that the miracle of change begins. Eventually growing into a plant fully capable of producing new seeds for many new plants to grow. It continues the lesson with these words to us. Like a seed, if we hold on to our lives so tightly as to prevent change, you will die. The seed will eventually become inert. But if you let go of your fear, and love God with careless abandon, then you will know real love, real grace, and fulfilling purpose, forever.

We are the seeds of God’s kingdom, and yes, we go through all sorts of trials that test our resolve and faith in Him, and each other. This lesson was taught by Jesus just days before His crucifixion. His reminder that through our struggles and heartache, we become more and more valuable to His work here amongst our families and friends. It is the center of our life, the question that I asked you earlier, ‘who… do you do life for’? Though we all fail, if you will put God at the center of your life, your foundation will not move. Your purpose will be steady and fulfilling through all your trials. Today this message is mine as well as yours, I struggle. I hope that together we can remember that struggle is part of sprouting into something new. It’s part of growing and reproducing, but what are we reproducing? Is it worthy of your life’s work? An example being passed down from us to the next seed? Think about that, because your life will leave a legacy somewhere, in someone.

Some of you may not yet have taken that step to trust in a God that you can’t see or touch. After all, the rest of the world tells you that He does not exist, that it’s all just legends and stories told to make us feel better and safe. I won’t debate you on the reality or proof of God, I’ll only tell you that I believe. I felt it inside myself many years ago, as I believe you do too, I knew that I needed Him. It isn’t complicated to stop and tell Him that you want Him in your life. Just talk, God will listen. And though I am not worthy to be His messenger, I pray my legacy and offspring are many who continue to look to God, even in times of darkness. When the light is not seen, and when we feel as though the world has left us for dead and considers us useless; when our priorities and personal direction is in turmoil, I pray that you and I will seek the center of our lives in the presence of a loving Father, whose number one ambition is to show us love and grace. That should be our focus and our gift to those who come after us - today, and forever.

John 12: 24-25

ShoeBox Thoughts - The Book, it's here

     As many of you know, I have been working on a book that would bring these messages into physical form and today I have finally accomplished that task. Over the past two years I have put together past published works, and some new pieces just to keep it fresh, into a devotional book called, "ShoeBox Thoughts, Messages from the ShoeBox Prophet". I know, it's a surprise title choice isn't it? But my purpose has always been to share these thoughts and life lessons with as many people as I could, so this book is an extension of this blog ministry, perhaps going where the internet cannot, or just giving someone a chance at real world, hands-on time for some basic heart and  mind thinking.

    The past two years were not without hardship in our house; losing my mother, both parents are now with the Lord, and my wife being diagnosed with one of the worst forms of breast cancer, I can say without a doubt, that going through these messages and editing often reminded me the author, that I continue to need them, and to be reminded that I need God's grace and mercy every day. In fact, my wife Michelle says on occasion, you need to go back and re-read what you wrote about how your acting. Just confirming that I will never be more than one beggar, showing other beggars, where to find food and shelter in Christ.

     It is my earnest prayer that after reading these messages, and listening to God's whisper in your ear, that you will share them with those who are hurting and lonely, without the hope that we cling to through the Good News. They need us to show them that "all have fallen short", and we walk together. This book is just another tool to allow us to share the message of love and grace that keeps us afloat and alive in a life of continuing storms.

UPDATE 12/5/2017:

     Use the link below to check out my sales page for ShoeBox Thoughts, both versions are now on one page for your convenience. It is for sale on Amazon, and various outlets around the world.

Use this link to visit Amazon to buy your copy today

Click here to go to my Amazon sales page for Paperback & Kindle

     Also, you can follow the link below to my authors page on Amazon. It will give some additional background from time to time, and also gives others links back to this blog. 

Use this link to see my author page and follow my books

    More than anything, I want to say thank you to everyone here that has commented and left me notes or sent email. I am doing life every day just like you are, and the encouragement and friendship mean a lot to me. I hope to return to writing more blog pieces now that the editing for this project is complete, it has been a great experience but an exhausting one creatively. Now, back to writing.

God’s mercy and blessing be with you all.

Randy

The Reunion

   The older I get, the more people that I know, and hold dear, pass from this life to the next. I wrote what follows to describe what could be, not what I know for sure. I am not a scholar or a theologian, but I know that God has promised all of us not to forsake us. In our biggest hour of need, I trust that His promise is the most powerful for those who are desperate to find peace and a glimpse of love lost. For those who remain..

   A warm sun filled the sky, and a gentle spring breeze blew through the budding branches of the neighborhood trees. It was a perfect day, no coat, just right for short sleeves and sunglasses. As he laid in his bed, his breathing was labored and he could not speak, but he could see this nature through the window, and he wondered, what would it be like. Not to have the sun in the sky, not to feel the wind on his face and in his hair. His wife was at his side, singing softly as she stared into his eyes, no words were spoken, but he felt her say "I love you" in her touch, and he answered her in the only way that he could, the squeeze of his hand. Since cancer had invaded his body, he had wondered about this time. At first, he trusted that God would heal his body. But Gods plan is not always our idea of the perfect design. His body had slowly been reduced to a shadow of its former self, but his love for her and for God had not diminished.
As the afternoon light grew dim in his eyes, he lost sight of his wife of many years. Although she never left his side - he felt alone, but more at peace than he had in some time. It took a few minutes for him to realize that the pain in his body was gone, but slowly he found himself imagining that he was walking through the most lush and green forest he had ever seen. Tall ferns grew everywhere, and he seemed to be on a grassy pathway that leads through the tall trees and wound further than he could see. He could smell the scent of something like pine, but not quite. After only a few moments he noticed what seemed to be a man sitting at a table alongside the pathway. The man was dressed in white, or at least he thought so. Bright, glowing light seemed to surround him. "Hello, and welcome," the man said as he approached. "I've been waiting for you," he said as he lifted his coffee mug and offered one to the newcomer. "I don't know how I got here," he said, but the man at the table interrupted, "you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Welcome" at this moment he recognized the man at the table, it was a dear friend of his that had passed away many years ago. A little surprised at how calm they both seemed to be he asked,  "Am I dead?" "You aren't dead, you're healed," said the man at the table. "And you've made it to the next part of your journey. A most wonderful and exciting odyssey". Just then he noticed many others joining them in this peaceful and beautiful setting. People and family members that he hadn't seen in years. Loved ones that had passed on, they were all there gathering around him, one by one saying hello and giving him hugs of joy, and telling him how much they had missed him. As the crowd grew larger and larger, there was one man he knew that he should recognize, but couldn't place his face, or where he knew him from. "Who was that", he thought to himself. He seemed to know everyone there by name, and they all focused on him as he came forward. "Welcome, my faithful child," he said as he hugged him. "Jesus?" whispered the man as he collapsed into his arms. "Yes, welcome home. We've been praying for you to find peace in your illness. And now, you have it". "My wife!" The man said realizing he was not going to be waking up from this vision, and knowing that she would be heartbroken and alone... Jesus quieted his fears by reminding him, that they had learned to trust in God together, and that she was in good hands. "Thank you," he said as they began to talk and walk throughout the gathering. They hugged and began to visit among the crowd. They laughed together and told stories of their adventures as the family and friends continued to celebrate his arrival.
Her eyes filled with tears as she watched his last breath leave his body. His hand in hers, once strong and guiding, was now still and unmoving, expressionless. She lifted it to her lips and kissed him one final goodbye. For the next few minutes, she sat quietly. Crying, remembering, and praising God that they had never given up on their promise to love each other. Unseen to her right and to her left, there were two beings standing near her. They were shrouded in bright light, at least in they're realm. The angels were there, watching, comforting, and guarding her for him, in her time of grief, doing what he could no longer do. Sent by the master's command, they watched over her, wiped her tears, and gave her the blessing of a flood of memories that made her smile and laugh a little. She wondered what he was seeing. What it must be like. If he could see his family, his friends. What was heaven like? What a wonderful reunion he had talked about having when he got there.
A few days later, she laid his body to rest. Kind words were spoken to comfort the living and respect the absent.  She smiled as she imagined him looking on from a distance, telling those with him how much he loved her. He was indeed there. And he was telling them just that, someday he would hug her in person again. She vowed, that she would look forward to that day when she would run into his arms again. The day that would be their reunion, and chance to praise God together, again. Until then

Randy
For Dad, Greg, and Johnny, I miss you all and look forward to our reunion.
4-24-2015