Prodigal

        Many times in my own life, I have judged myself. Judged by critical standards and by soft, far too forgiving standards. I have run from authority, and run toward it for shelter after doing something dumb or immature. The one thing that my parents gave me as a gift, without financial cost or my working to earn, was the acceptance that they had for me being me. Not that they looked the other way when I was wrong, they didn't. They usually let me know it when I was doing something of concern to them. Unfortunately that didn't always translate to me making a change or doing what they wanted, there are sure some pitfalls that I could have saved myself from drowning in. But that's life, that's learning, and sometimes, that's painful.

         In our lives there will be paths that we must walk alone. Sometimes they will be hurt, and sometimes we just chose the wrong one. You and I have both done that; we have been on a path toward destruction, one that could have ended up very badly for us. Somewhere, hopefully you made a change, saw a way out, a light at the end of your tunnel. However, perhaps you still live in fear and darkness, I tell you that many days I feel as you do in that dreadfully murky place. The future is easy to obscure, and hope is a fragile thing when life reminds us that we are not in charge. When we put our hope in finances or careers that can disappear quicker than they are earned, we run the risk of opening the doorway to disappointment and losing our real self-worth. Likewise, failing to spend time with family and friends can leave us feeling unloved, and desperate. Or maybe you're not getting along with a spouse, parent or child, what happens to those whom we know if we give up? Is it us that are lost, or those that we disagree with? Have you hurt someone while on this path or been hurt through someone else's choice to walk away or their direct intention to cause you pain?
  Regardless of the source, there is peace and shelter for your heart. There is also a guide to how to deal with those who are lost, or adrift in life's sea of despair. If you are the ship sailing with no direction and no anchor, there is hope and grace for you too. But maybe your asking, why should anyone care? Why do I write to you when I don't know you? And especially, why would God care what happens to a person that has chosen to walk away from the love and warmth of a family or God? 

        While Jesus was in ministry in and around Jerusalem, he often angered the religious leaders of that time by teaching and hanging out with ordinary people, and on occasion eating with that crowd of "sinners". A crowd that the leaders deemed unworthy of such direct contact, if Jesus was indeed who he said that he was, or even just a temple rabbi. They looked at such non-clean people as unimportant and lower class. When Jesus got the chance to tell them why, he said something like this, if you had a flock of animals that were making your living with, and meant everything to the survival of your household, you wouldn't want to lose even one of them. In fact if you did find one missing,  you would leave the other 99 in good care and go to attempt to retrieve the one that was lost. Without a doubt, you would even be happy or celebratory about getting back the one that was lost. His point was this, why wouldn't he be trying to reach out to the lost? More over, why is it not surprising to us, those cast aside by "the religious", that the leadership of the church or local government wasn't happy with him. This meant that they would have to share their power; but more than that, it would have meant that they shared their importance and status with the lowly public. Those motives of judgment aren't old or new to this world, there was self indulgent greed then, and there still is today. But a true shepard, isn't worried about losing power or prominence, it's about finding the lost.
  Now back to you and I, it should be a little more obvious now what kind of attitude that we need to have when it comes to seeking and serving the hurting, the abandoned, and the lost. No matter what stage of despair or regret that you and I find ourselves in, there is grace and hope in the shepard, Jesus. Our torn and raggedy lives are the very thing he seeks to renew. But how do we do that for others when we are ragamuffins ourselves? How will people look at us when we try to help someone else from the heap of our own ruins? Well first of all, get your heart in the right place, make sure that you're not seeking something in return; helping others isn't about the reward, although there will be one. If you seek the reward most of all, your help will be as worthless as an umbrella of mesh in a downpour. If your motives are righteous, that means without greed or self grandiosity, then don't worry about what others think or say. That isn't to say that good council shouldn't be listened to, you should always seek the ear and wisdom of someone that you know and trust to keep you accountable and on task. But the nay-sayers, let them scoff at you for your efforts, you're in good company. Remember that the religious leaders hated Jesus because he sought out the meek and the hurting, no matter if they were the "in" crowd or not.
  If you are like me, long before now you have asked the important question of why. Why do we need to help each other? Why do we need to change at all? Why does God want us to do this seeking for Him, can't He do it? And why Randy, do you write these irritating questions? I'm not sure that I can answer the last one, but the first questions are a little easier. In  John 21: 15-19, Jesus asked John one question, three separate times. He asked John if John loved him. Each time John answered, Jesus replied with feed my sheep, to the immediate irritation of John I might add, it was as if the group of them needed to know the simplicity of the message and the mission. Find those in need, do something about it. Paraphrased here as: Live as a follower of Christ, serve as best you can to find and "feed" the lost, and love one another as brothers and sisters in one big family. It seems to be that middle one that really gives people the most trouble, serving.
       Thinking again of the prodigal story, I am reminded of the father running out to meet his son. His son was dirty, smelled like a barnyard, and hadn't even uttered any words of apology, yet his father met him on the road, with a big hug and kiss. Tell me again how you and I can't have grace and forgiveness because of what we have done in our past. Time after time, Jesus told his disciples to go, feed my sheep, go and make others like yourself. He taught them not to look at the outside, and that sin was sin, call it what it is, forgive the ragged sheep, and bring them home.
        I know that each of us have our idea of what God must think of us. The truth is, in his eyes we are as filthy as any drugged out prostitute, or as unlovable as an abuser of others, but through the sacrifice of His son, and His representation of our lives before the Father, we each become the perfection that is only found through being born again. It's not science or science fiction, it's not something that you show someone in your hand, but it's as real as the sun that warms the daytime. We are all prodigal children. Sometimes we are the sheep needing to be found, and other times we are the ones doing the finding, I think that's all in God's plan. He uses us right where we are, still a little dirty from the barnyard of life. And without a pedigree of whose at the top of the list and whose at the bottom. Read the passage in John 21 again, go ahead, I'll wait. It's one description for all of the lost; I read nothing in there about the really nice award winning sheep getting priority or the ugly, half bald, sheep getting pushed to the back of the line. Just all of us raggedy sheep in this together, and one Father ready to run down the road and meet us at the point when we realize that we can go home to him. Whether you are searching for sheep, walking the prodigal path back towards home, or still feeding the pigs in the slop, never judge others by the way they look on the outside, and don't stop thinking of yourself as a child of the King. He said that he stands at the door of every prodigal heart and knocks, hoping to find each and every one of His lost and hurting raggedy children, a status and mission by the way, which you and I both share.

Luke 15: 6 / John 21: 15-25

Revision

  We live in an era where the family structure has taken a beating with the popular opinion that "it takes a village" and not necessarily good parents to raise and train our children. While I don't deny that good mentors and even a few great teachers along the way taught me some important things about life and myself, the thought that I am talking about here are parents that relinquish or even shrug their responsibility to nurture and raise their children to be the best that they can be. I am always shocked to hear people agree that parenting today is harder than ever and that they welcome the influence and uninhibited input from our schools and media. I may be wrong, but looking back in my family's past, I see plenty of tough times. My parents came from relatively poor families, and as kids, my brothers and I had to work for things that we wanted. Extravagance was never part of our lives. So it seems perspective makes a big difference when you are looking at your surroundings, both financial and spiritual. As small children, we all learn our value and self-worth in a few short years. We pick up the mannerisms and habits of our parents or guardians, good and bad. If you have ever struggled with your self-image, an addiction, or abusive behavior because of what you learned as a child, then the rest of this message is focused for our mutual thought and healing.

     What formula in life can take children who overcome a family history of drug and alcohol abuse or physical and mental exploitation, and lead them to become happy and healthy adults, seemingly free from the hereditary hangups of their past? How do you take a tragically bad memory, learn and grow from it, without digging it up all the time? Just referring to it in a discussion can seem to cause us to relive it again and again. My mom and dad both came from families where alcohol and the abusive behavior of their fathers were almost considered normal. Neither my mom or my dad brought up those bad times very often, most of the time they only referred to their families' in good ways and how they had learned from the bad experiences that they never wanted to burden their children with such pain. And they never did.

     They were so convinced that they could alter who they were, that they took what were sometimes extreme measures, to make sure that the example that they set for us boys was not one filled with the same abuses that they had grown up with. They began by first dealing with their own lives. I think they decided that if they didn't have those things in their lives, then we would learn that it wasn't necessary to have them in ours either. Within their self-examinations, they also returned to roots involving the church and began to seek out God. Both of my grandmothers were very good women; although my mother's mother admitted that she wasn't a very good judge of men, married four times and eight children; one day as a young boy I asked her if she was ever going to get married again, without any time to consider the answer, she retorted, "I surely don't need another man in my life". For all of my life, and until her passing, she was true to her word. My father's mother was a very religious and kind spirit, she provided the very early dialog that pointed my mom and dad towards the church. I think that was the final step for them in finding what could make a difference in changing their life... Eventually, they found and started to attend a very actively growing and friendly church. In the lives of my brothers and myself, that church and the determination that my mother and father had to change their lives for the better, created a paradigm shift within our family, one that would change the course of who and how my brothers and I grew up. Certainly, we were not perfect, we made our share of mistakes and got ourselves into plenty of trouble, and still do on occasion. However we all grew up to find success; success in business, success in marriage, and success with our families and children. How can you look at that outcome and not realize that mom and dad had really figured out something big?

     You may find yourself being that person who needs to do the changing, or you may be the one hoping to live through something horrible and are simply trying to survive. I encourage you to find something positive and real, not fantasy or a temporary fix, to put in your field of emotional and spiritual vision. Try not to focus too much on what is painful or wrong in your life; instead, seek out the One who made every part of you. The creator of who and how you are. It may seem overly simple, but God does have a plan for you, and it isn't being abused or abusing others, or yourself. I don't want to talk specifics about steps to success here, there are plenty of groups and organizations out there that do that. I am talking to you directly and saying, we all have our life moments when we have to rise above the noise that is the evil and sorrow of this world. My point here is simply to reaffirm to you that it is possible to overcome such adversities. Regardless of the method that you choose to make change happen, be encouraged that success is within your grasp. Remember that you may not be able to change your past, but you can decide that your future will be different. You choose each pathway in your life, and how you choose will determine not only your destination but the legacy you leave when you're gone.

     There are so many self-help books out there, and slickly advertised plans that are guaranteed to "fix" your life and make you happy, it boggles the mind to think about the money we all spend, trying to find that permanent fix to our addictions, depression or failed marriages. But it's like someone who's trying to quit smoking. They can chew the special gum, get hypnotized, wear a hidden patch, or go to meetings with other smokers that all talk about quitting in-between "smoke" breaks, but until they decide to quit, until that, "I'm quitting right now" moment comes to them, most of these other answers will be short-lived and ineffective. That said, let's look at our own lives, the real picture of it, not the mask we wear in public, at church or to work. Maybe you always feel overwhelmed with mountains of depression or an addiction that controls your every train of thought; In the quiet of your own heart, and without the distractions of your life crowding inward, ask yourself for an honest answer to this question, do you really want to make a change? Is it time for a paradigm shift in your life? If so, then now may just be your time to put your mind, heart, and soul at work together toward a common goal, to make the things you need to change in your life, become reality.

  Start by seeking God. Have a conversation with Him, and be honest. Pray for strength and wisdom to identify the habits and the people in your life that need to change, or completely be rid of. Sometimes we hang on to people and things that just remind us of where we have failed. Choose those whom you can talk to, and don't just dump on them, listen; and be open to the thinking that you can change. To be clear, I am not saying that everything or anything is your fault. Change sometimes means that we are giving others too much responsibility in our lives. There are far too many avenues to explore here to usher in a new you in this short message, but if I can keep it simple and just say, God understands who you are. He knows your habits, and how hard it is to put them down. All He asks of you is to try. To seek help where it can do you good. Find friends and a church that makes a difference in your life, one where you are moved to stretch your spiritual legs and grow. Real followers of Christ, Christians, are still at best, sinners. So don't put anyone on a pedestal. Live in His grace, it is free, and it's the only secure path to finding peace. Learn to love yourself in spite of what you see in the mirror of your memories. God's forgiveness is fathomless, that means as far as it is from the earth to the sky, and then a thousand times more, He has forgotten your failures. Choose to end your addictions, abuses and bad habits and give them over to His love and grace. That probably will not be an easy thing, it usually isn't, but it is a worthwhile endeavor. You and your family can start today on your path of deliverance from whatever separates you from the perfect path God has chosen for you. Do not give up when you fail. The disciples failed, lied and hid-out to save themselves during their painful learning process, and God picked them up, dusted them off and helped them to become more than they could ever dream. You can live a life of purpose, overcome your past and its hold on you, but the first step is yours, you have to seek God and accept the grace and love that He will pour out on you. It's not easy, I know all to well the trap of fear and complacency when it comes to change, but the joy and freedom that will come from winning this battle, and the story you will have to share with others that suffer from the same trials you have won victory over, will shine the light of glorious transformation over your life, and prove beyond a doubt, that God is a God of renewal and revision for the beggar standing at the doorway of grace.

Now You See It..

       Most famous illusionists have a great way of making things appear and disappear with  flare for the dramatic. The better the illusionist, the more you believe it was some form of supernatural power that was used to make it happen. From Lance Burton and Penn and Teller, to David Copperfield and Criss Angel, some of these master craftsmen can deceive you right in front of your eyes. It's now you see it, and a blink later, now you don’t, gone. I've known a lot of people that were great at being ‘illusionists’ with their life as well. They always seem to have a way of making their problems disappear. You know those people too, I’m sure; they get into situations that are sure trouble for the rest of us. They cheat, lie, steal, rob, and pillage only to get away free and clear on some technicality or oversight. Somehow they make money, or reap fame from their grand and dishonest display of 'magic'.
  As a kid growing up, there were always a few in school, who would be the ones making the noise or throwing something in class. About the time that I thought it looked like a fun adventure, or I just wanted a piece of the action, that’s when the teacher would catch on, and turn around. Guess who always got caught? Just like in sports, when the second guy into the fight is always the one that gets caught and penalized, I was singled out as the perpetrator of all of the monkey-business. The grand illusionist never seem to be the one that got the blame.
  In all of this there are a few lessons to be learned and I wish I had a few years earlier than I did. It seems that I’m a slow learner when it comes to these kinds of life lessons, and I only recently thought about why. Being the youngest of four boys could have had something to do with it, I was always competing for attention. In our house, humor was appreciated perhaps a little more than most. I have no scientific reason to say that, but starting with Dad, we were all cut-ups, and enjoyed making each other laugh. Looking back, I think that fed into my personality and my desire to see people act happy, or maybe really be happy having a laugh.
  Not too long ago, I was saddened by the passing of a great illusionist in the field of comedy. Robin Williams took his own life after years of depression, and addictions. He had discovered that he had a disease that would soon leave him unable to be himself, unable to counter his own sadness by making people laugh with him, and at him. What a terrible suffering it is to value laughter so much, but have so little of it in your own heart. Robin spent his life in the pursuit of making others happy, but never really seemed to find the permanent internal contentment that could reside within his spirit. I hope that through my life’s lessons, and learning from some unfortunate mistakes and poor decisions, that we can find some simple answers together here. The first real truth that stands out to me is that no one else can make you happy. Not a new girlfriend or boyfriend, not having children, not a new job or lots of money; No ladies, not even shopping for shoes. None of these outward things can genuinely and permanently make you happy, especially if you don’t know how to find your own happiness on the inside.
  It always seemed to me that I should automatically know what would make me happy. That it shouldn't be a mystery, but for most of us, I think it is. There are a few people I know that seem to be genuinely happy and whole people. There are certainly many who are trying to fool us all every day. The illusionists of life, wandering through every day like Robin Williams did, looking for a way to change how they feel, by affecting the lives of others. Looking for their own happiness through people and things of popular desire. One sure life lesson I have discovered over the years, people will always disappoint you. Not that all of them try to do it on purpose, there are kind  and caring ones who would never purposely hurt you, but we all fall short, right? In Romans 3:23 it assures us of this fact. All of us fall short of the perfection that is God’s plan for us. Without a pursuit in Him, we cannot trust in anything to be good, true or consistently positive.
  So what does that tell us about finding our inner happiness? Where should we be looking to assure ourselves that we won’t end up depressed and wallowing in self-doubt or regret? Seeking God of course, I told you it was a simple answer. It’s just not a simple task to carry out. I know that we all struggle with the enticement of this world. Things that make us happy for a moment or that take away the bad feelings that come with stress or loss. Those kinds of temporary material answers aren’t truly helping on the inside though are they? It’s like the stage of the illusionist, set to deceive the crowd into believing that what they see is really a feat of supernatural intervention. Just like sleight of hand though, when you realize it’s a trick and not genuine, the magic feeling is not only gone, but you feel worse for having been tricked. The same is true of false happiness, when you seek it in places that aren’t constant and stable, you will be worse than when you started as soon as reality and your real world returns.
  I don’t pretend to say that there is any quick or easy way to solve this life riddle. But there is One who promises us that through His grace, we are forgiven, and through His sacrifice, we can call on God without the fear of failure tied around our neck. We don’t have to put on a good show, or impress others with our fake smiles or success at the cost of our families. There is nothing we can do to earn it, or buy our way in. That’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t know how or want to chance my happiness on my ability to reach some spectacular goal that would “get me in”. It would just end up being another sleight of hand, an illusion; you and I would end up in the same place we started out, faking it.
  The good news that many of us miss about life is that happiness can’t be bought or earned. It can be given though, just not by you and I here on this imperfect world. Start your search over, and this time put your interest and faith in something far more tangent than an illusion. God’s love is proven, it’s perfection, and it can definitely be the answer to what makes us happy on the inside. If we can realize and know that He loves us, and that all that is asked of us is that we live our lives seeking to love Him and serve others as ourselves at the banquet table of His grace and mercy, then I know that piece by piece, our lives will be filled up from the inside out, with a real love that cannot be faked or made to vanish. Illusions in life do not end well, or lead to happiness. Just like those kids you and I knew growing up, those people eventually get found out and exposed for what they are, shallow fakes. In the long run, we all need something real, and constant to be happy. Fill your life from the inside out, with the truth that God has given to you at a great personal cost to Him. Don’t make your path through life a delusion, it’s far too short of a journey to live a lie. Nothing in His plan for you will leave you empty or feeling short-changed. Your life, it’s purpose and your overall happiness, will be far more than an illusion, it will be openly genuine and consistently content. No one is happy all the time, every life has it’s share of sadness and despair, so don’t set yourself up for disappointment by thinking that you can be ‘happy all the day’. We can all know the real and genuine love and grace of being God’s child. His desire is to fill us with joy, real joy, not the illusion of something that we think will make us happy. That’s our choice, having joy on the inside, and being willing to have faith and know that every day, He will continue to give us that inner contentment and peace, again and again. That's real life, without a magic wand.
     Blessing to you all- Randy

Romans 3:23

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Hidden Blessings

Searching for Gods purpose and direction in times when you can't see anything good in your life.

  For years, I wondered if I was the only person to ever question what God's plan looked like for my life. As a boy I imagined being a lot of heroic people when I grew up. From driving those huge trucks like my father, to being a famous singer. Whether defeating evil with a light saber, or being a knight of the round table, I just knew that I was "called" to do something great with my life. And the older that I got, the more I felt like I had fallen short of my real purpose in life.
  It doesn't take a lifetime to experience disappointment or the pain of failure. We can do that as young children, as well as adults. The quest for purpose is hardwired into our hearts. The last time that you went through a hurtful situation, or difficult time in your life, did you wonder what good God could create from it? Have you thought to yourself that the impossibly tough road that a loved one is traveling must be for a reason? We have all wondered those thoughts to ourselves, even out loud, I know that I have pondered them over and over. Whether you look at it as failure, or just a lack of direction, your life's purpose is important to you, it's important to all of us. It makes us feel complete, worthy somehow to the world, that we have something of value to offer of ourselves.
  If you have struggled with your self worth, or wondered what a difference you could possibly make, this message is for you. It's certainly for me, as my life has made some drastic swerves on life's road over the past decade. I continually wonder how God can make something good out of what I am going through; little by little He reveals to me, that He is using each and every event and experience of my life to bless and help others, including people that I've never met.  There is a great life story in the Bible that reaches out to us on just this topic. It is a story of a young man, left for dead, sold to slavery, put into prison, then put in charge of everything to save the country where he was imprisoned, and finally reconciling with his abusers and saving his own family and homeland through his perseverance.
  The story of Joseph is one that has fascinated me for a good deal of my life. As a boy, he was hated by his brothers. Have you experienced a family explosion so violent that one or more of your siblings or parents was hurt physically or financially? I see this often when families are trying to overcome the death of their parent. They fight, squabble, accuse, it is awful to witness. Many families never repair the damage done during this time. The words can't be taken back, and feelings seem to go being hurt, until it's too late to forgive. Families torn apart through abuse, both chemically and physically, leave children and spouses scarred with the emotional distrust of others motives and beliefs. It's safe to say, Joseph started out in his early teen life with a disastrous view of what family was, something that happens all to often still today. And a subject, I am sure, that leaves many thinking, what good can God use this for?
  In our lives, just as in Joseph's, God looks out for us. He wants us to be respected, He wants us to be successful. But sometimes what He has in mind as a success, requires us to experience life in a way that qualifies or prepares us to be used in a certain situation. Remember that Joseph even spent time in prison for a crime that he didn't commit. While in prison he was still positive and working at being a good leader. He helped run the whole prison by the time he was released. That's optimism.
  When these trials come to us, we can't decide that life has become too much to handle, and simply quit trying; although we all feel that these times are too much for us, and there's no way we can come away victorious, I believe that life is a journey best taken one step at a time. In other words, the harder life gets for us, the more basic our mission should become. Just concentrate on living today, doing what makes today it's best. Trust your trials to a God that has your best interests in mind. There is no way Joseph could have imagined that he would end up being in charge of all of Egypt, or better still have his brothers come to him for escape from starvation. Although he had an exceptional gift from God interpreting dreams, I'm sure even Joseph was astonished at the eventual turn of events.
  What makes some people differ from others on how they get through these trials is how they look at, and react to, what they're going through. I know that I don't have the most positive of outlooks on life sometimes. Thankfully, throughout my life I have had family and friends surrounding me that remind me from time to time, to look for the good in situations, to put aside my pessimism. Truthfully, I'll tell you that unless you and I can find a way to do that, to see the good in life's trials, and to at least continue through them expecting God to use them to His advantage, then you will ensure your own failure, as surely as if you are expecting it. Joseph spent years in jail, continuing to be faithful in serving God and his jailers, believing that good would come from his faithfulness. A break finally came to him when the cup-bearer was released and reinstated to pharaoh just as Joseph had predicted, but the cup-bearer forgot what Joseph had said, to please remember him when he was free.. Though he probably thought that his time in prison was nearing an end, two more years went by before that opportunity came. That's perseverance, trust and faith.
  How long do you wait before you become impatient? For me, this might be a trick question, since I am not known to my friends and family to have an abundance of patience. People often talk about the "big picture", but you don't hear many talk about how to actually see it. I believe that you only start to see the reality of the big picture when you have the patience to wait for it to unfold. Somehow, young Joseph knew this. His waiting went on and on, but eventually the big picture revealed itself to him. I sincerely hope that our knowledge of the plan or purpose for our lives does not take as many years as his did, but in all practicality, it likely will. And longer yet, if we don't seek to follow God's will for our lives. Following our plan for happiness, or our own path to what we think is our happiness, can and usually does lead us away from God's plan. Why? Because at our basic lowest level of who we are, we are self-centered, and sinful. Not necessarily the, 'you would rob a bank or murder someone' kind of evil, just the 'not aligned with God's plan for your life' selfish living. Put simply, certain things in our life can seem harmless, but they are fun, and fulfilling to a part of who we are, a need to relax and have fun. What could that hurt, right? Let's look back at Joseph, what if he had given in to the demands of Potiphar's wife? To sleep with her, (Gen. 39). After all she just wanted to have some fun, and no one would find out. He was a slave in their house after all. You see how easy we humans make something wrong sound like it's okay? What do you think would have happened to God's protection and favor in Joseph's life if he had carried that out? Would it have derailed God's plan for Joseph? Probably not, because God can and does use whomever He wants too, whenever He wants too. But surely Joseph's outcome and blessed life would have been different.
  Don't allow yourself to make excuses about how God plans to use you, or about what you really need, or want. The truth is that we all make mistakes. Contrary to popular belief, to God they all look the same. He still has a plan for our lives, a way to take what we have experienced and make it into something that serves His purposes. You cannot predict the outcome of your life, but you can be aware of opportunity. Times when the big picture unfolds just in front of you, and you are called to paint your corner of the canvas. It's how you choose to react to trials and victories in your life that makes the difference. You can just as easily ruin your life by over-celebrating your own successes. When Joseph was given the chance to get even with his abusers, he did just the opposite of what I might think of. What do you think? Could you help those who cast you out of your family's house, and sold you into slavery? He celebrated his victories just as he did his trials, with a positive and forgiving heart. Always with an eye for God's plan in his life or even someone else's.
  This is not an easy subject for me to write about. Although I can say that I usually control my tendencies at being over exuberant upon success, I cannot say that I do that well projecting a positive and forgiving heart. I often struggle with where God's plan is taking me, or maybe it's just the secretive part of me not knowing. Perhaps together, we can all learn that in order for us to see our purpose in this life's plan, we have to be patient, and keep looking for it. All the while, continuing to live as Jesus instructed us, treating others as we would want to be treated, loving the unlovable, and forgiving those who rage and fight against us. Not to be a doormat, but to reach the lost and hurting. God says that He will take care of our enemies; leave that to Him. When we face adversity, stay the course. Believe that you are there for a reason. Seek and do the best in your duties, as if they were being done for God Himself. Believe me when I say, I am writing this to myself as much as to you, but what if we really tried to live that way. Really. Joseph lived to experience the justice of righteous thinking. Doing the right thing, even when the wrong thing has been done to you. I believe that these are the times when God's plan shows us outcomes that we can not possibly imagine on our own. They are the canvas of life which finally displays those hidden blessings.

Genesis: 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 (MSG, the story of Joseph)

The Thief

When Christ was on the cross, there were two men on either side of Him, one accepted Him, knowing that he himself was a sinner and that he needed to ask for forgiveness. The other was a hardened criminal, with an even harder heart. He didn't show remorse for his deeds, and he certainly seemed to make it clear that he didn’t need Jesus to "save" him. He rejected his last opportunity to make his life right before a forgiving God.

If you think about it, these two men represent a lot of us, on either side of the struggle between good and evil. One side seeks forgiveness and a change within ourselves and our motives; the other side is self-serving, mocking all that is good and seeking only the pleasures of life without the responsibilities.

I can imagine these two men might have started out life much the same. Two little boys with dreams of becoming someone great when they grew up. But somewhere along the way, one learned about respect, and honor before your family. The value of good actions and outcomes. The other little boy learned that if he wanted something bad enough, he could just take it. He needed to be tough. He would steal or cheat his way to what he wanted regardless of it being deserved or earned. No one else's feelings or needs outweighed his own. Although they both ended up on a cross as scorned and convicted thieves, there was a difference in their final hours. I believe somewhere in the one man's life, he was blessed with a caring person, maybe a mom or a dad, or a sibling that continued to tell him about the good that they saw in him. That he could be more than he was allowing himself to be. I am sure that by the time Jesus saw him on that cross next to Him, this man was remembering all of the times that someone had told him, “You are more than a thief, more than a bad, uncaring person”. And Jesus saw it too.

If we can open up our own hearts and minds for a minute, and truthfully analyze our own motives, which of the thieves would we be? It’s a sure thing that we are all selfish in our own way. That we all deserve punishment for being disobedient servants. Yes, we represent both of the thieves that died that day. We are the rebels, the ones that don’t want to admit that we are wrong. The failed mothers and fathers. We are the children that have made poor choices and ended up with consequences that we never believed would be ours to bear. The ones that say, “God cannot love me now, I am the one that nailed Him there.” “I deserve everything I get”. And we’d be correct to say that. On our own, without the forgiving grace of Jesus, we don’t deserve saving, and we certainly don’t deserve a heavenly promise of beautiful streets of gold and everlasting happiness.

I am so thankful that the second thief took his last minutes here on this earth to allow God to teach us a lesson through his words from the cross. In his last moments, he was willing to be used as a teaching vessel for thousands who came after him, including you and me. This thief looked at Jesus and said, remember me when you get to your kingdom.

The Problem with Sinners..

     I think this message points more to the established Christian as a warning, not to become complacent in our tolerance of bad behavior within the church. There are those who need to be held accountable, and although I don't always circle the proverbial wagons around a highly spiritual or theological teaching in these pages, I am basing this message on the love and grace of Jesus. As Ragamuffins, we have no earthly goods that would be seen as worthy in God's kingdom, and before we pass judgement upon another person, we should be deadly sure that the yard stick by which we measure is Jesus, and not our idealistically warped sense of what we have labeled as righteous. 

     Drug addictions, a drinking problem, anger issues, unhealthy sexual desires or habits; these are just a few of the issues for whom society waves the popular treatment banner. In our self-help, quick-fix modern church, these are the types of problems that "real" Christians shouldn't have to be dealing with, right? After all, you have overcome all those "major sins" by accepting Christ. Wrong.. Reality is closer to this; just because God granted grace to you, doesn't mean that He's also granted you immediate deliverance from your sinful habits. Some of those lifestyle choices are so much a part of who we are, that it takes time to let go of them. I will accept that God could, if it was His plan, deliver you instantly from them, and oh how excellent that would be. That isn't usually the normal path of Christianity though. I trust that God fully expects us to be changed people, and to make an effort to be more Christ-like, but chances are, you will not suddenly stop having the urge for a drink, and you will not have an instant attitude correction leaving you free from anger issues or desires that aren't of the purest nature. Most of the time God's plan works its way through our lives in a slow and methodical way, supplying us with answers to questions as we grow more and more mature in our faith. If we are to expect, as longtime believers, that Christians should instantly be delivered from their sinful natures and habits; and that the expectations of perfection should be put upon them as they attend "our" churches, then that cold and merciless thinking in itself, may be part of the problem with keeping new converts in your church.
     One of the quickest ways that I know of to deflate the energy and excitement of a new Christian is to tell them that they aren't quite up to your level, or that their clothes or the way that they dress aren't up to your church's standards. The problem with sinners is, for the most part, when Christans forget that they are sinners too. Before we accept Christ, we know that we are living on our own. Something tells each of us on the inside that we are not Godly people. In fact many times we wallow in self incrimination, telling ourselves that God couldn't love or accept us, that I'm a lost cause, or that the church would fall down if I go there. None of which are true. The idea of the Gospel was to prove that God's love has no boundaries, that common people are in fact, included in the mission of the cross, and that you can come to Him at any time. Christians who have forgotten that they are still capable of sinning are more dangerous to God's kingdom than any drunk, addict or abuser that I've met. Think about the repercussions of gossip, selfishness, pride, ignoring the needs of a spouse or a child; I would suspect, that these types of behaviors cause as much or more harm to those around us, than the so-called major sins. That's because they affect the people closest to us, and ripple outward from our lives. Our family, friends, and coworkers who see these flaws are saying to themselves, if that's what being a "Christian" is like, then no thanks.. What's the difference between just living, and living a hypocritical Christian life?
     The problem with sinners is that when we look at our own sin, we either see a cascade of unforgivable guilt, or we think that we are "about as good as everyone else". Both of these scenarios have huge pitfalls when it comes to accepting grace. It's our job as Christians to live lives that are examples of God's gifts to all of us. The gifts of acceptance, value, worth, honor and love, these many attributes sum up the grace that God has set aside for you. Grace to cover your past addictions. Grace to cover your abusive behavior. Grace to cover the lying, stealing and cheating. But also the grace to live as Christians and still be working on becoming more Christ-like. No matter where you are in the journey of walking toward or with God, His grace is your membership card into the kingdom of heaven.
     New Christians, don't use it for a license to keep on sinning and say, Gods got me covered. God knows your heart, and will not honor your lack of effort. Long time (mature) Christians, don't think that just because you've been around a while that you've moved past that sinful or worldly part of your life.
     Many years ago, a good friend of mine, a young man that was just beginning his walk with God, was discouraged by the judgement of the established Christians from the church that he attended. Mostly, I think the church leaders felt that he didn't dress in clothes that they thought were appropriate for church. Not that he was wearing clothes with holes in them, or that they were dirty or baggy; his clothes were somewhat dressy. He wore nice, pressed shirts that you might say were stylish and business like. What was their issue then? He wore shorts to church. Not the gym or beach style of shorts, but the type that are business looking, longer with pockets, something that you might see a UPS driver or park ranger wear. But that wasn't the only complaint they seem to have with him. The leadership had another major issue with him as well, he didn't wear a tie. At that time, the church still had ushers and he was happy to help with that task when asked. He was a brand new Christian, and seemed to be really putting forth an effort to get involved with the church, while finding mentors and others that he could grow with and be accountable to. His rude awakening was right around the corner.
     Although he was liked by many in the church as a fun and excited new Christian, there were some in leadership, those sinners who had seemingly forgotten that they themselves were still just forgiven by grace, that felt compelled to confront him. Their message to him was clear, if he wanted to be involved in "their" church, he would need to stop wearing shorts, and put on a tie. His current wardrobe just wasn't meeting their standards for the Sunday morning dress code. Apparently they made the point so completely and so forcefully, that it had a permanent and lasting impression on him. He never returned to that church. In today's church going, flip-flops and t-shirt standards, this story probably sounds so completely ridiculous and petty. The point that I'm trying to make here is this; the actions of a few church leaders, based on something that today seems so trivial, may have cost this young man years of resentment towards the church. Even though the ridicule that he was subjected to wasn't biblical or God's doing, I'm sure that in his heart it was the church as a whole that was to blame.
     I lost contact with him after that, and I can't say whether or not God ever repaired that young mans heart from the rejection that he suffered at the hands of "sinners". This I can say though, where was the grace in their actions? How differently would his life have turned out today, if the church had shown him compassion and understanding instead of judgement? We will probably never know in this world. What we can do is treat others as valued children of the same God that grants each of us our pardon. The same God that forgives each of us daily when we lose our temper, or fail to honor our spouses. The very same God that was failed by his twelve most trusted disciples, but never stopped loving them. The problem is not the sinner, the problem is the sin. We should never forget, that the pomp and circumstance that we sometimes make our organized church into, is never worth the cost of losing even one single person. Clothing differences, gossip and hurtful language, addictions, abuses of all kinds; we have to find a way to be Christ's grace to everyone.
     Certainly there is a time for admonishment when it is scripturally necessary and we should hold each other accountable through love and in a merciful manor, just remember that you are talking to a child of the God of this universe. A ragamuffin that's broken, worn and tired from the journey. Whether the lost are just finding their way into our midst, or whether they are our church leadership, members or closest mentors, we're never exempt from showing others the same unmerited mercy, grace and forgiveness that has been given so freely to us. The trouble with sinners is that they're everywhere, ourselves included.