Who Will Go

     Recently, a mentor of mine reminded me that it is not always the perfect and skillfully educated people that do the leading and discovering. More often than not, it’s the willing and even more importantly, the available, that fill those shoes. Those who talk without polish in their words, or lead without knowing the odds. Stepping out into a leadership role can be scary, and if it doesn’t scare you, you probably aren’t a good one. There were many reluctant leaders in the Bible. Moses and Jonah found out that even if you fight against God’s will, He sometimes has already laid the groundwork to use you, and no matter how hard you fight, God will find a way to put you where He wants you.
      Let’s just look at Jonah for a minute, Jonah was not ungodly. He knew God, and I think he probably thought of himself as a good person. Certainly God thought that he had something usable to reach the people of Nineveh. But for several reasons, Jonah was scared. He ran the complete and opposite direction from where God wanted him to be. Boarding a ship to sail away into the sunset, God put into motion a set of circumstances that would eventually find Jonah thrown overboard by the captain and crew. A bit extreme if you stop to think about it; yet no sooner than they had disposed of Jonah, the sea became more calm, and they were saved. They obviously made the right choice.
     Jonah on the other hand, had started out with some very bad decisions. I have a question for you though, after telling the crew of the boat the truth and coming clean about what he had done, did his life get better? I would say spending days alive, inside of a fish qualify as things only got worse for him. After some time, Jonah arrive where God had intended, and with an even more fascinating story with which to reach and hold the attention of the people of Nineveh. I’m sure he looked the part as well, haggled, worn, and in general a real mess.
      It seems that this story could be told about each one of us doesn't it? Of course you may never be thrown overboard from a ship, or swallowed by a fish, but don’t you feel like you have been on some days. I sure do. It doesn’t even necessarily come from directly going against God’s call, sometimes it’s just our stubborn resistance to follow His direction in our lives. We want something so bad, that we do it even knowing God wouldn’t approve. I’ve made decisions that way, and I am sure that you have too. Some are of lesser consequence, and then there some that really get us thrown overboard.
     The mindset that I usually find myself in when I feel God’s leading is this; I’m not qualified to do what I feel God is calling me toward. Either because I resisted so long to do it, or because I feel like I lack the education, experience or the skill to do it. I talk myself out of even considering it. I board my ship, and sail as fast as I can in the other direction. Not that I am, or ever have been, called to preach and save an entire region as Jonah was, but you have to understand that God isn’t always looking for that. He calls each of us to serve and believe it or not, most times the people and places He is calling us to are right where we are. Family, neighbors, friends, co-workers. Not everyone is an overseas missionary, in fact those are the rarest of people He calls.
     I am sure that you are thinking of someone or something that God has nudged you about in the past, or may be currently filling your heart with thoughts of, “this is for you”. Mine have changed over the years. Yours may too. I didn’t feel all that qualified for most of them either, but each time that I have been spit out by the fish that rescued me from running away from God’s plan, wonderful things have happened. I’ve met new people, some are affected by the stories or music that I have to share. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses my regular life of trial and error, and non-super powers effort, to create an outcome of beauty that glorifies Him. That’s His grace in my life; not only has He forgiven me, but He allows me to help others through sharing my journey and life lessons with others that are going through similar times. This is the true intention for fellowship.
     I’m not going to tell you that it isn’t a little scary at times. Okay, sometimes a lot scary. I think, “what if I am a complete failure”. If you feel that way too, remember this, you are following a path that God has led you to. If you have been obedient and prayed about it, asked mentors what they think, prayed some more, and you all agree that you should go forward with it, then you’re doing the right thing. Just remember, sometimes success can be in disguise. God’s plans can be far down the road, and though you and I may see what we did as a flop, it may be a foundation for what someone else comes to finish. Don’t judge your results by yourself; let God do that. Then listen to family and have good accountable mentors that can help you gauge if you are really being effective.. Don’t be afraid to say, I have finished this calling, or God has given me a new plan of action, and it’s time to move on. If I had not done that, you would never have read this message.
     The answer to who will go is simple, those that are willing to try. It’s not a pastor's job to reach everyone with God’s message. They can’t go to your work or school, and they certainly don't have your life stories of forgiveness and mercy to share and use to relate to others; You and I are called to go. We must, especially if you know God is calling you to a specific place or group of people. The alternative of sailing away in defiance in your own direction, well, we all know how that ended up for Jonah. Unless you are feeling short of trials and failures in your own life to share, I suggest we try His way the first time for once. Maybe you’ve done it your way for a while now, and you are not sure how to change. That is the single biggest obstacle for me to be sure, change. We can all do it differently as we take a step out in faith to follow our path. Believe in what God is calling you to do, seek His guidance. It isn’t easy, but it’s never too late to change. Finding your way to tell others about how your journey led to a "boat ride" of running away, or being swallowed by a big fish called failure; being used by God to help someone else in need, through our scars, that my friend is what grace is all about.

Jonah 1, 2, & 3
(also inspired by the passion and ministry of Pastor Terry Schneider

Crying Out

There are times in all of our lives that we lose hope, or at least the vision of what success would look like to us. Those moments where time can seem to slow down, and our senses seem to become heightened to the realization that we have not become who we thought we would. Or, we have become someone that we don't even recognize. Life can throw many curves and twists into our path. If you are a Christian, then you have at least been told that God always has a plan for you, and will never test you or allow you to be beaten spiritually, beyond the point the He knows, you can withstand. But there are many days, for both you and I, that we look into the palms of our hands and say something like, "God, what did I do to make you leave me?". or,"God, where are you right now,  in this moment of my greatest need? why have you left me like this?"

If those words or thoughts sound familiar, both to your heart and somewhere in you memory, they should. I believe that we all feel them; that feeling of being alone and abandoned. The notion that you are carrying something far beyond your abilities, and you are about to fall. If you also recognize the phrases from your Easter services and movies, then you will know that they were the thoughts of Jesus too. That evening in Gethsemane, with the fire lit, and the sky full of stars and wonder just as it is today, He gathered with His closest friends, which He had poured out His heart to, but they still didn't know His whole story. The weight of the world's deceit and selfishness crushing His beautiful and bubbly spirit. His face, once smiling in love and forgiveness, laughing at the pranks and jovial jokers with which He traveled and lived out His last few years in the companionship of these cohorts, contorted now with the pain of God's plan for His life, and a realistic feeling of abandonment, and being alone.

Do you see yourself in any part of His story? I know that I have my "garden moments" fairly often. Those feelings of despair, worry, or just plain unworthiness. They change from time to time. Sometimes just the feeling of not knowing the direction my life is going is one of those moments that I am overcome on the inside with feelings of fear, failure, and desperation, and most of the time, it's hidden deep and camouflaged well to keep others from seeing. They are real feelings of being left right where God was "done" with me. Like I had served a purpose for a while, but not anymore. I am thankful that Jesus's hardship in the garden reflects hope for me, and for you. Although He didn't know the overall plan, He persevered. He held fast to what He knew, God's promise not to leave us alone, not to overburden us beyond our abilities. I think we sometimes sell ourselves short of the path God lays before us. We tell ourselves that "we could never do that", or "If God wanted me to do this or that He would just make it happen". You must admit, hearing that might make you pause to think, that sure sounds self-centered and faithless. It might be, but I think we all tend to call on God the most when we are in trouble, not when things are going right. At least right according to our plan.

I know that some of us struggle with medical reasons for being depressed, and believe me when I say as a former believer in "wishing away" or "self-correcting" these types of feelings, that just is not possible. Abandonment, failure and feeling like the weight of the entire world is squarely placed on your shoulders is a fact of life that everyone, from time to time, will go through. It is where you put your faith in finding an answer to that crisis that decides the success of your fate. In other words, we all are faced  with insurmountable odds, and the 'no win situation'. Where you seek your answers though, that will determine how your outcome ends up affecting your life and the lives around you.

Looking back to the night that Jesus met His greatest challenge of faith, I see some very important things that He did that may have made all the difference in the world. First of all, He found a place of peace. Possibly a favorite of His; the trees and countryside with the quiet winds you can't find in the city, or a busy life. Second, He surrounded himself with His very best friends. Those people that He loved, trusted, and cherished the most. And if you will take the time to read or know the whole story, most of them fell asleep and He asked them not to; so even though they were there with Him, they were not the only part of the equation to this answer, in some ways, they failed Him. Although if you'll read the story of that night, it sounds like He asked them to pray for Him, and that's the part we don't know about. Did they pray? Did they pray so earnestly that they wore themselves done and fell asleep? In what ever way that it really happened, I see the friends being called around Him, and His asking them for prayer as a huge element to His success with the evening's burdens. Third, in this place of solitude and beauty, or darkness of night under the stars of the heavens, He prayed. He found a place and a condition that helped Him to focus on what He needed to do. Go before God and seek the plan for His life. With the distant support of His friends, doing what they could to be there for Him, He Himself had to give up on fixing the problems alone. Forth, He took the time to listen. I am sure that Jesus was out there a while. I have little doubt that with the deep and committed friendship that He had bonded with His followers, that they would have fallen asleep ten minutes after He left. He was out there praying for a while. He didn't just talk to God, He listened. Today I hear a lot of people say that God just doesn't speak out loud to people anymore. But you see, I don't think that Jesus heard an audible voice that night either. He had a heart connection with His Maker. A connection that if honored in a two-way direction will allow you to hear God's leading in your life. Just as Jesus did two thousand years ago.

Today, with the schedules that we keep, and the jobs that we must excel at, do we keep the direction of our Maker's connection going in a two-way direction? I know for a fact, that I struggle with this. I do talk to Him. I lament, I beg, I even plead with Him sometimes to take away the pains and worries of my world. But do I always listen to His answer. In my case, the outcome has allowed me to minister to so many more of you than I ever could have before my illnesses. I realize that the pain of loss and depression are very real, and very dangerous. I have experienced God and circumstances change my dreams and callings without my permission, imagine my horror at that notion? I thought those where mine to chose and control. Guess again. There is a plan, there is an outcome where you and I make a difference.  But it may not be the plan you were imagining or dreaming of. It may be a plan for you and I to witness to someone in the middle of some very hurtful times or experiences. Perhaps they are the ones that are destined for greatness or a grander stage, and without your journey, without your pain and successes and willingness to share it, they don't ever see the path God has chosen for them. Have you ever considered it from that perspective? I admit that I hadn't either, but how does that make you feel about your life and the choices that you make?

Jesus, at a time of great pain and anguish, laid out a plan for us to look at, marvel about, and then emulate. During His night of decision, He turned to the simple things in life to find answers; Not the business of educational theology, although I am not knocking those with superior biblical and educational understanding here, He turned to a peaceful and calming atmosphere, the trusted support and prayers of family and real friends. Then He included the most important ingredient of all, He found quiet and spoke directly to God. He didn't just beg and plead, but He cried out for His Maker to hear and help him, and He did. It wasn't the plan that He had wanted, but it was the right plan, the salvation plan.

If you suffer today with depression, use the example left for us by the best teacher that ever walked the earth. I know life is not easy, in true fact, it rarely is. Life is a journey as I have often said. A trip through wonderful places of beauty and excitement. Where we often laugh and experience the fullest that life has to offer; love, family, marriage, children, success, grandchildren. But life can also wind through the darkest of valleys as well. Sickness, failure, loss, divorce, depression. There is a saying that I heard years ago when I was coaching kids baseball. It takes ten good comments to overcome one bad rant directed at a child. In life, there will be a roller coaster of events that effect your heart and soul. Don't let the bad ones distract and disconnect you from the Maker. His plan for you is certain and it does contain love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and success. It does however require us to actually have a connection to God, and to 'cry out' regularly, and then listen. Make sure that you take as much time to listen as you do to talk. He does continue to speak, and you are not abandoned, you are chosen. Allow Him to carry you through those darkest times, when  your strength and mine, are wholly and completely inadequate, but His strength is perfect.

Mark 14: 32-36 (MSG)