Revision

  We live in an era where the family structure has taken a beating with the popular opinion that "it takes a village" and not necessarily good parents to raise and train our children. While I don't deny that good mentors and even a few great teachers along the way taught me some important things about life and myself, the thought that I am talking about here are parents that relinquish or even shrug their responsibility to nurture and raise their children to be the best that they can be. I am always shocked to hear people agree that parenting today is harder than ever and that they welcome the influence and uninhibited input from our schools and media. I may be wrong, but looking back in my family's past, I see plenty of tough times. My parents came from relatively poor families, and as kids, my brothers and I had to work for things that we wanted. Extravagance was never part of our lives. So it seems perspective makes a big difference when you are looking at your surroundings, both financial and spiritual. As small children, we all learn our value and self-worth in a few short years. We pick up the mannerisms and habits of our parents or guardians, good and bad. If you have ever struggled with your self-image, an addiction, or abusive behavior because of what you learned as a child, then the rest of this message is focused for our mutual thought and healing.

     What formula in life can take children who overcome a family history of drug and alcohol abuse or physical and mental exploitation, and lead them to become happy and healthy adults, seemingly free from the hereditary hangups of their past? How do you take a tragically bad memory, learn and grow from it, without digging it up all the time? Just referring to it in a discussion can seem to cause us to relive it again and again. My mom and dad both came from families where alcohol and the abusive behavior of their fathers were almost considered normal. Neither my mom or my dad brought up those bad times very often, most of the time they only referred to their families' in good ways and how they had learned from the bad experiences that they never wanted to burden their children with such pain. And they never did.

     They were so convinced that they could alter who they were, that they took what were sometimes extreme measures, to make sure that the example that they set for us boys was not one filled with the same abuses that they had grown up with. They began by first dealing with their own lives. I think they decided that if they didn't have those things in their lives, then we would learn that it wasn't necessary to have them in ours either. Within their self-examinations, they also returned to roots involving the church and began to seek out God. Both of my grandmothers were very good women; although my mother's mother admitted that she wasn't a very good judge of men, married four times and eight children; one day as a young boy I asked her if she was ever going to get married again, without any time to consider the answer, she retorted, "I surely don't need another man in my life". For all of my life, and until her passing, she was true to her word. My father's mother was a very religious and kind spirit, she provided the very early dialog that pointed my mom and dad towards the church. I think that was the final step for them in finding what could make a difference in changing their life... Eventually, they found and started to attend a very actively growing and friendly church. In the lives of my brothers and myself, that church and the determination that my mother and father had to change their lives for the better, created a paradigm shift within our family, one that would change the course of who and how my brothers and I grew up. Certainly, we were not perfect, we made our share of mistakes and got ourselves into plenty of trouble, and still do on occasion. However we all grew up to find success; success in business, success in marriage, and success with our families and children. How can you look at that outcome and not realize that mom and dad had really figured out something big?

     You may find yourself being that person who needs to do the changing, or you may be the one hoping to live through something horrible and are simply trying to survive. I encourage you to find something positive and real, not fantasy or a temporary fix, to put in your field of emotional and spiritual vision. Try not to focus too much on what is painful or wrong in your life; instead, seek out the One who made every part of you. The creator of who and how you are. It may seem overly simple, but God does have a plan for you, and it isn't being abused or abusing others, or yourself. I don't want to talk specifics about steps to success here, there are plenty of groups and organizations out there that do that. I am talking to you directly and saying, we all have our life moments when we have to rise above the noise that is the evil and sorrow of this world. My point here is simply to reaffirm to you that it is possible to overcome such adversities. Regardless of the method that you choose to make change happen, be encouraged that success is within your grasp. Remember that you may not be able to change your past, but you can decide that your future will be different. You choose each pathway in your life, and how you choose will determine not only your destination but the legacy you leave when you're gone.

     There are so many self-help books out there, and slickly advertised plans that are guaranteed to "fix" your life and make you happy, it boggles the mind to think about the money we all spend, trying to find that permanent fix to our addictions, depression or failed marriages. But it's like someone who's trying to quit smoking. They can chew the special gum, get hypnotized, wear a hidden patch, or go to meetings with other smokers that all talk about quitting in-between "smoke" breaks, but until they decide to quit, until that, "I'm quitting right now" moment comes to them, most of these other answers will be short-lived and ineffective. That said, let's look at our own lives, the real picture of it, not the mask we wear in public, at church or to work. Maybe you always feel overwhelmed with mountains of depression or an addiction that controls your every train of thought; In the quiet of your own heart, and without the distractions of your life crowding inward, ask yourself for an honest answer to this question, do you really want to make a change? Is it time for a paradigm shift in your life? If so, then now may just be your time to put your mind, heart, and soul at work together toward a common goal, to make the things you need to change in your life, become reality.

  Start by seeking God. Have a conversation with Him, and be honest. Pray for strength and wisdom to identify the habits and the people in your life that need to change, or completely be rid of. Sometimes we hang on to people and things that just remind us of where we have failed. Choose those whom you can talk to, and don't just dump on them, listen; and be open to the thinking that you can change. To be clear, I am not saying that everything or anything is your fault. Change sometimes means that we are giving others too much responsibility in our lives. There are far too many avenues to explore here to usher in a new you in this short message, but if I can keep it simple and just say, God understands who you are. He knows your habits, and how hard it is to put them down. All He asks of you is to try. To seek help where it can do you good. Find friends and a church that makes a difference in your life, one where you are moved to stretch your spiritual legs and grow. Real followers of Christ, Christians, are still at best, sinners. So don't put anyone on a pedestal. Live in His grace, it is free, and it's the only secure path to finding peace. Learn to love yourself in spite of what you see in the mirror of your memories. God's forgiveness is fathomless, that means as far as it is from the earth to the sky, and then a thousand times more, He has forgotten your failures. Choose to end your addictions, abuses and bad habits and give them over to His love and grace. That probably will not be an easy thing, it usually isn't, but it is a worthwhile endeavor. You and your family can start today on your path of deliverance from whatever separates you from the perfect path God has chosen for you. Do not give up when you fail. The disciples failed, lied and hid-out to save themselves during their painful learning process, and God picked them up, dusted them off and helped them to become more than they could ever dream. You can live a life of purpose, overcome your past and its hold on you, but the first step is yours, you have to seek God and accept the grace and love that He will pour out on you. It's not easy, I know all to well the trap of fear and complacency when it comes to change, but the joy and freedom that will come from winning this battle, and the story you will have to share with others that suffer from the same trials you have won victory over, will shine the light of glorious transformation over your life, and prove beyond a doubt, that God is a God of renewal and revision for the beggar standing at the doorway of grace.

The Thief

When Christ was on the cross, there were two men on either side of Him, one accepted Him, knowing that he himself was a sinner and that he needed to ask for forgiveness. The other was a hardened criminal, with an even harder heart. He didn't show remorse for his deeds, and he certainly seemed to make it clear that he didn’t need Jesus to "save" him. He rejected his last opportunity to make his life right before a forgiving God.

If you think about it, these two men represent a lot of us, on either side of the struggle between good and evil. One side seeks forgiveness and a change within ourselves and our motives; the other side is self-serving, mocking all that is good and seeking only the pleasures of life without the responsibilities.

I can imagine these two men might have started out life much the same. Two little boys with dreams of becoming someone great when they grew up. But somewhere along the way, one learned about respect, and honor before your family. The value of good actions and outcomes. The other little boy learned that if he wanted something bad enough, he could just take it. He needed to be tough. He would steal or cheat his way to what he wanted regardless of it being deserved or earned. No one else's feelings or needs outweighed his own. Although they both ended up on a cross as scorned and convicted thieves, there was a difference in their final hours. I believe somewhere in the one man's life, he was blessed with a caring person, maybe a mom or a dad, or a sibling that continued to tell him about the good that they saw in him. That he could be more than he was allowing himself to be. I am sure that by the time Jesus saw him on that cross next to Him, this man was remembering all of the times that someone had told him, “You are more than a thief, more than a bad, uncaring person”. And Jesus saw it too.

If we can open up our own hearts and minds for a minute, and truthfully analyze our own motives, which of the thieves would we be? It’s a sure thing that we are all selfish in our own way. That we all deserve punishment for being disobedient servants. Yes, we represent both of the thieves that died that day. We are the rebels, the ones that don’t want to admit that we are wrong. The failed mothers and fathers. We are the children that have made poor choices and ended up with consequences that we never believed would be ours to bear. The ones that say, “God cannot love me now, I am the one that nailed Him there.” “I deserve everything I get”. And we’d be correct to say that. On our own, without the forgiving grace of Jesus, we don’t deserve saving, and we certainly don’t deserve a heavenly promise of beautiful streets of gold and everlasting happiness.

I am so thankful that the second thief took his last minutes here on this earth to allow God to teach us a lesson through his words from the cross. In his last moments, he was willing to be used as a teaching vessel for thousands who came after him, including you and me. This thief looked at Jesus and said, remember me when you get to your kingdom.

The Problem with Sinners..

     I think this message points more to the established Christian as a warning, not to become complacent in our tolerance of bad behavior within the church. There are those who need to be held accountable, and although I don't always circle the proverbial wagons around a highly spiritual or theological teaching in these pages, I am basing this message on the love and grace of Jesus. As Ragamuffins, we have no earthly goods that would be seen as worthy in God's kingdom, and before we pass judgement upon another person, we should be deadly sure that the yard stick by which we measure is Jesus, and not our idealistically warped sense of what we have labeled as righteous. 

     Drug addictions, a drinking problem, anger issues, unhealthy sexual desires or habits; these are just a few of the issues for whom society waves the popular treatment banner. In our self-help, quick-fix modern church, these are the types of problems that "real" Christians shouldn't have to be dealing with, right? After all, you have overcome all those "major sins" by accepting Christ. Wrong.. Reality is closer to this; just because God granted grace to you, doesn't mean that He's also granted you immediate deliverance from your sinful habits. Some of those lifestyle choices are so much a part of who we are, that it takes time to let go of them. I will accept that God could, if it was His plan, deliver you instantly from them, and oh how excellent that would be. That isn't usually the normal path of Christianity though. I trust that God fully expects us to be changed people, and to make an effort to be more Christ-like, but chances are, you will not suddenly stop having the urge for a drink, and you will not have an instant attitude correction leaving you free from anger issues or desires that aren't of the purest nature. Most of the time God's plan works its way through our lives in a slow and methodical way, supplying us with answers to questions as we grow more and more mature in our faith. If we are to expect, as longtime believers, that Christians should instantly be delivered from their sinful natures and habits; and that the expectations of perfection should be put upon them as they attend "our" churches, then that cold and merciless thinking in itself, may be part of the problem with keeping new converts in your church.
     One of the quickest ways that I know of to deflate the energy and excitement of a new Christian is to tell them that they aren't quite up to your level, or that their clothes or the way that they dress aren't up to your church's standards. The problem with sinners is, for the most part, when Christans forget that they are sinners too. Before we accept Christ, we know that we are living on our own. Something tells each of us on the inside that we are not Godly people. In fact many times we wallow in self incrimination, telling ourselves that God couldn't love or accept us, that I'm a lost cause, or that the church would fall down if I go there. None of which are true. The idea of the Gospel was to prove that God's love has no boundaries, that common people are in fact, included in the mission of the cross, and that you can come to Him at any time. Christians who have forgotten that they are still capable of sinning are more dangerous to God's kingdom than any drunk, addict or abuser that I've met. Think about the repercussions of gossip, selfishness, pride, ignoring the needs of a spouse or a child; I would suspect, that these types of behaviors cause as much or more harm to those around us, than the so-called major sins. That's because they affect the people closest to us, and ripple outward from our lives. Our family, friends, and coworkers who see these flaws are saying to themselves, if that's what being a "Christian" is like, then no thanks.. What's the difference between just living, and living a hypocritical Christian life?
     The problem with sinners is that when we look at our own sin, we either see a cascade of unforgivable guilt, or we think that we are "about as good as everyone else". Both of these scenarios have huge pitfalls when it comes to accepting grace. It's our job as Christians to live lives that are examples of God's gifts to all of us. The gifts of acceptance, value, worth, honor and love, these many attributes sum up the grace that God has set aside for you. Grace to cover your past addictions. Grace to cover your abusive behavior. Grace to cover the lying, stealing and cheating. But also the grace to live as Christians and still be working on becoming more Christ-like. No matter where you are in the journey of walking toward or with God, His grace is your membership card into the kingdom of heaven.
     New Christians, don't use it for a license to keep on sinning and say, Gods got me covered. God knows your heart, and will not honor your lack of effort. Long time (mature) Christians, don't think that just because you've been around a while that you've moved past that sinful or worldly part of your life.
     Many years ago, a good friend of mine, a young man that was just beginning his walk with God, was discouraged by the judgement of the established Christians from the church that he attended. Mostly, I think the church leaders felt that he didn't dress in clothes that they thought were appropriate for church. Not that he was wearing clothes with holes in them, or that they were dirty or baggy; his clothes were somewhat dressy. He wore nice, pressed shirts that you might say were stylish and business like. What was their issue then? He wore shorts to church. Not the gym or beach style of shorts, but the type that are business looking, longer with pockets, something that you might see a UPS driver or park ranger wear. But that wasn't the only complaint they seem to have with him. The leadership had another major issue with him as well, he didn't wear a tie. At that time, the church still had ushers and he was happy to help with that task when asked. He was a brand new Christian, and seemed to be really putting forth an effort to get involved with the church, while finding mentors and others that he could grow with and be accountable to. His rude awakening was right around the corner.
     Although he was liked by many in the church as a fun and excited new Christian, there were some in leadership, those sinners who had seemingly forgotten that they themselves were still just forgiven by grace, that felt compelled to confront him. Their message to him was clear, if he wanted to be involved in "their" church, he would need to stop wearing shorts, and put on a tie. His current wardrobe just wasn't meeting their standards for the Sunday morning dress code. Apparently they made the point so completely and so forcefully, that it had a permanent and lasting impression on him. He never returned to that church. In today's church going, flip-flops and t-shirt standards, this story probably sounds so completely ridiculous and petty. The point that I'm trying to make here is this; the actions of a few church leaders, based on something that today seems so trivial, may have cost this young man years of resentment towards the church. Even though the ridicule that he was subjected to wasn't biblical or God's doing, I'm sure that in his heart it was the church as a whole that was to blame.
     I lost contact with him after that, and I can't say whether or not God ever repaired that young mans heart from the rejection that he suffered at the hands of "sinners". This I can say though, where was the grace in their actions? How differently would his life have turned out today, if the church had shown him compassion and understanding instead of judgement? We will probably never know in this world. What we can do is treat others as valued children of the same God that grants each of us our pardon. The same God that forgives each of us daily when we lose our temper, or fail to honor our spouses. The very same God that was failed by his twelve most trusted disciples, but never stopped loving them. The problem is not the sinner, the problem is the sin. We should never forget, that the pomp and circumstance that we sometimes make our organized church into, is never worth the cost of losing even one single person. Clothing differences, gossip and hurtful language, addictions, abuses of all kinds; we have to find a way to be Christ's grace to everyone.
     Certainly there is a time for admonishment when it is scripturally necessary and we should hold each other accountable through love and in a merciful manor, just remember that you are talking to a child of the God of this universe. A ragamuffin that's broken, worn and tired from the journey. Whether the lost are just finding their way into our midst, or whether they are our church leadership, members or closest mentors, we're never exempt from showing others the same unmerited mercy, grace and forgiveness that has been given so freely to us. The trouble with sinners is that they're everywhere, ourselves included.